Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday Dispatches: Islamic Hijinks in Mali, Neo Nazis in Westphalia, Breivik is of Sound Mind, Jimmy Holmes College Dropout, and More Fun With Guns

Well things are deteriorating so quickly this week it is hard to keep up.

In Mali, Islamic extremists, most of whom are not from Mali, continue to destroy every historically significant piece of the local culture they can lay their hands on. They occupy the northern part of the country, but no one believes they'll stop there. NBC News reports that they recently declared the vibrant music industry in the African nation to be satanic. The local military apparently hasn't the means to stop these goofs, much less run them out of the country, meaning someone else is going to have to step in to do it for them. Yes, another day, another war. Someone call the Germans and tell them its their turn.

Or maybe not. In the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia the local government has begun raiding the hangouts of the National Democratic Party, or NDP as it is commonly called. The NDP has been described as being, among other things, xenophobic, racist, anti Semitic, revisionist and inspired by Herr Hitler and the ideology of the the Nazi party. Most of its members are described as young, unemployed, and with little formal education. The party holds seats in a couple of state parliaments, but not in the national government. At least not yet. See if this sounds a tad familiar, they howl the loudest about immigration, claiming immigrants are the cause of most crime and unemployment.

Speaking of people who don't like immigrants, our pal Anders Breivik was declared to be "of a sound mind" by a Norwegian court. He was given the maximum of ten to twenty one years for the murder of 77 people, none of whom happened to be actual immigrants. Breivik justified his rampage by saying his victims were guilty of promoting immigration and multi culturalism. He will be held in solitary at a place called Ila prison. He'll have access to a computer, newspapers, and a separate exercise room. Technically he will be eligible for release in ten years. Under Norwegian law, however, his sentence can be extended indefinitely if he is determined to still be a danger at the end of his term. Norwegian experts expect Mr. Breivik's stay at Ila to be about as long as he lasts on the planet.

Not to be outdone by those rank amateurs in Norway, prosecutors have begun laying the foundation of their argument that Jimmy Holmes is also of sound mind. They are fighting to get a look at Holmes' University of Colorado records. The theory is that once Holmes flunked an important oral exam he began to plot revenge. Prosecutor Karen Pearson claims UC professors became disturbed enough by Holmes reaction to his sinking grades they sought to ban him from their labs. They also had UC police run a background check on him, which of course turned up nothing at all except a traffic ticket. The unanswered question is why, during all of this, didn't someone from UC go to the real cops with their suspicions. No time line has yet been provided to show exactly when young Mr. Holmes began to amass the arsenal he used to booby trap his apartment and open fire in the packed movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. There is also no word as to whether he owned a copy of J.D. Salinger's novel, "Catcher in the Rye."

Finally, in today's breaking news, New York City police have identified Jeffery Johnson, age 58 as the man who opened fire outside of the Empire State Building. Johnson killed one person before being killed by New York cops. Nine were wounded in the incident, although police have admitted their gunfire may have been the cause of some, if not all, of the injuries. Johnson's job was downsized out of existence last year and apparently he had previously threatened his victim, the vice president of his former company. NBC news is reporting that NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg stated that Johnson, "doesn't appear to have a criminal record." Well of course not. They never do. Just ask them in Norway and Aurora.

It has been a long week and in a precious few hours the republicans will storm through the streets of Tampa carrying torches while howling for blood. In short it isn't going to get any better any time soon.

Keep low and don't bunch together. That way they won't be able to get us all with a single burst.

sic vita est


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