Thursday, May 30, 2019

Bob Mueller's Imitation of the Delphi Oracle

You have to give it to Bob Mueller. He does know how to drive the people at MSNBC, CNN, and FOX into a frenzy some might interpret as orgasmic. At least that is what it seemed like yesterday before and after Mueller's 10 minute, or so public appearance at the Justice Department.

A full hour before the Special Counsel took the podium all three networks bombarded us with correspondents, contributors, analysts, authors, members of congress, and probably a camera operator, or two speculating about what he would say. The exercise was ponderous, extended, and ultimately useless. As The Daily Show's Trevor Noah pointed out, why worry about what he might say when we can hear the man's actual words right after the next round of ads touting some miracle blood pressure medication.

When the moment finally came, Mr. Mueller did an astounding imitation of the ancient Greek Oracle at Delphi. Everything he said and didn't say, especially when it came to obstruction on the president's part, was immediately deciphered according to each viewer's perspective and imagination.

The rubes on FOX claimed Mueller had found Mr. Trump, if not completely innocent, at least not culpable in any crime. They even dragged out that moldy old soul, Newt Gingrich. He proclaimed that since Mueller hadn't once used the word, "guilty," the president was off the hook. He breathlessly told us that when Ken Starr was investigating Bill Clinton he had done just that seven, or was it 17 times.

What he didn't mention was Starr really was a partisan hack. His investigation not only meandered from an Arkansas land deal, to blow jobs in the Oval Office, but along the way it continually leaked salacious snippets to the press which weren't even pertinent to the case.

Mueller on the other hand led a tightly sealed and narrowly focused probe. One which was bound by a Justice Department mandate which declares a sitting president cannot be indicted for any federal crime uncovered by it. In other words, while Starr was a loose cannon running completely amok, Mueller was an absolute pro--some would say to a fault.

However, despite the Justice Department rule, Mueller did say, "...as set forth in the report, after the investigation if we had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime we would have said so." Later he added, "...the constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing."    

The MSNBC wags went wild. Many claimed Mueller had given congress, "a road map," to impeachment. Only a few would admit if the House did impeach the Senate would never convict, allowing Trump, once again, to fly about the country claiming he had been completely exonerated--of everything, up to and including dodging the draft.

Even some of those who did acknowledge the stone cold reality of the situation pressed for impeachment as a necessary tool to maintain the separation of powers. A couple even invoked, "a moral responsibility to impeach."

The one area the now resigned Special Counsel was crystal clear on dealt with Russian interference in the 2016 election and who it was aimed at. Although it found, "insufficient," evidence of a conspiracy between the Trump campaign and the Russians, Mueller's investigation determined, without doubt, the Russkies did everything they could to keep Hillary Clinton out of the White House.

In Mueller's own words, "As alleged by the Grand Jury in an indictment, Russian intelligence officers who were part of the Russian military launched a concerted attack on our political system. The indictment alleges they used sophisticated cyber techniques to hack into computers and networks used by the Clinton campaign. They stole private information and then released that information through fake online identities and through the organization WikiLeaks. The releases were designed and timed to interfere with our election and to damage a presidential candidate."

Today, in typical fashion, Trump, claimed Mueller was a, "Never Trumper," who was pissed off because Trump wouldn't appoint him Director of the FBI. He also babbled about investigators who had originally gotten their jobs during the Obama administration. Finally he told the media that he and he alone was responsible for Clinton's defeat.

Never has a president been victimized so much--well--at least in his own mind.

Get ready, America. Impeachment hearings, damn the political consequences, are coming to a TV near you soon. And Don Trump, much to his horror, knows it.


sic vita est


5-30-19




Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Baseball and Politics in Fresno, Rudy Says He Didn't Know, and Facebook Isn't in the News Business: Caveat Emptor

We are a year and a half out from the 2020 elections and things are getting weird already. Not in a good way either.

On Monday the triple A baseball team of the Washington Nationals, the Fresno Grizzlies decided to run a, "patriotic," video between games of a Memorial Day double header. The clip, which someone within the organization picked up off YouTube, was supposed to be, "a moving tribute," to the armed forces.

Toward the end of the video former President, Ronald Reagan talked about the, "enemies of freedom." As he did the big screen first flashed a photo of a masked Antifa protester and North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un. Then, before getting to the late Fidel Castro, up popped an image of NY Congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

It took until a little after lunch on Tuesday for the team to start issuing apologies. They tweeted, "We're embarrassed we allowed this video to play without seeing in its entirety first. We unconditionally apologize to Rep Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) in addition to our fans, community, and those we hurt. It was a mistake and we will ensure that nothing like it ever happens again."

In other words the Grizzlies are saying they broadcast some random three and a half minute YouTube video to their fans without looking at the whole thing before it played. A club spokesperson later told USA Today, the employee who thought that would be a good idea had been, "identified," and he, or she is, "remorseful." He added the club would, not likely, do it again.

That, not likely, bit certainly instills confidence doesn't it?

The odious event comes on the heels of a couple of videos which originated in the bowels of far right wing internet sites. One is edited to show House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi slurring her words as if she is drunk, while the other is cut to make it look like she is stumbling helplessly over her words.

Donald Trump's personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani tweeted the first to his 300,000 plus followers. Trump himself tweeted the second.

Once the video, which was slowed down to make Pelosi seem as if she was impaired, hit Facebook it almost immediately garnered over two million hits.

Giuliani eventually deleted his tweet, but refused to apologize for posting it. According to the former NYC mayor, "he didn't know," the video had been altered and had, "no reason to believe it was." He then asked, "Where do you go to check that it's inaccurate? How could I have figured out that it was inaccurate?" He also threw in a line about how that's the way she speaks anyway.

When asked about his posting of the second video, Trump responded the way he typically does. He lied. The Big Orange Guy said he, "...doesn't know about the videos."

Then we get to the core of the problem we'll all be dealing with for the rest of our natural lives--well--as long as the electrical grid holds up anyway. Facebook refuses to delete the video with the slurred words because, according to them, it doesn't have, "...a policy that stipulates that the information you post on Facebook must be true."

Monika Bickert, a Facebook spokesperson told CNN's Anderson Cooper, "We think it is important for people to make their own informed choice of what to believe." She went on to tell him Facebook is actively telling its users the video is fake even as it refuses to delete it. She added, "Our job is to make sure we are getting them accurate information."

Finally she told Cooper, "We aren't in the news business. We're in the social media business."

That despite the site having user, "News Feeds," which can be looked at and shared by just about two billion people world wide.

As has been said before, ad nauseam, the internet is both a blessing and a curse. The amount of information available on it is not only instantaneous, but profound. The problem is any liar, thief, and propagandist on this blue ball can pass off their bullshit as genuine and too many people are willing to believe it--especially when it comes to politics.

Welcome to the new millennia America. Caveat Emptor.



5-28-19



Saturday, May 25, 2019

Memorial Day 2019: Protecting the American Way of Life

The United States was born in war. We've been fighting them ever since. A few times it was because we had to, although that number pales in comparison to those we chose to start, or joined in progress out of a sense of nationalism, brute expansionism, or simple habit. In every case, however, thanks to politicians and the media most Americans, at the moment a conflict began, have always been convinced going to war was necessary to protect, The American Way of Life.

Wikipedia lists 81 different times American troops charged off to combat in the 243 year history of the country. That is once every three years since the Declaration of Independence was signed.

Who knew we had to be protected so often?

Sadly, or perhaps thankfully, many of those 81 conflicts were so brief they're now lost in history. In fact most 21st century American citizens don't even know they happened. Take for example, The Sheepeater Indian War of 1879. That one doesn't exactly come to mind when there is a discussion of America's wars. U.S. casualties were one killed in combat and 10 wounded. It was so brief there weren't even any deaths by disease, or accidents, by far the biggest cause of military fatalities in the 19th century.

Others weren't nearly as quick, or relatively painless. At the beginning of the Civil War the nation's population, north and south, was approximately 31,443,000, not counting Native Americans. During the next four years, on average, 520 U.S. and Confederate troops would die each day, seven days a week. In WWII the number was 279 soldiers, sailors, and marines per day. In the 14 years we slogged around South Vietnam it was 11 deaths per day.

The nation has had 45 Commander in Chiefs of it's armed forces. 26 of them served in the military, one way, or the other before they showed up for their inauguration. A few served with distinction in battle, like G.H.W. Bush, Jack Kennedy, James Garfield, and Rutherford B. Hayes. Bush the elder was awarded The Distinguished Flying Cross. Kennedy received the Navy and Marine Corps Medal and a Purple Heart. Garfield commanded infantry brigades during the battles of Shiloh and Corinth. Hayes was wounded at the battle of South Mountain and survived the slaughter at Antietam.

Others served stateside. Ron Reagan for instance spent WWII making training films, while Jimmy Carter was a Midshipman at the USNA who didn't put out to sea until 1946. During the Korean war he rode a desk. Bush the younger was in the Texas Air Guard during Vietnam and never made it further west than Houston.

Two presidents who didn't serve had dubious reasons for not doing so. Donald Trump was diagnosed with heel spurs and declared ineligible for service during the Vietnam era. The doctor who made the diagnosis ran his practice out of a building owned by Fred Trump, Don's father. Grover Cleveland bought his way out of the draft during the Civil War by paying some poor schmuck to take his place--a practice which was legal back then. It is unknown whether the guy survived, or not.

Other than the horror of the 9-11 terrorist attacks and Pearl Harbor, the United States has not fought a battle on its own soil since 1898. That was the year a unit of  U.S. infantry went onto the reservation of the Pillager Band of Chippewa Indians in Minnesota. Their objective was to arrest its leader. In the ensuing, "battle," seven US troops were killed and 16 were wounded. In a reversal of what normally happened during those days none of the Chippewas were killed. The troops withdrew and eventually--not to mention incredibly--the whole thing blew over.

Four months later Americans would be fighting Filipinos in Manila because they didn't want their country run by a foreign nation, namely the United States. By the time it was done America had lost a little over 4,100 soldiers.

In total, this Memorial Day we have 1.4 million plus reasons to honor our war dead. That doesn't count an untold number of Native Americans who fought to save the continent from invading armies commanded by people like George Armstrong Custer.

Yes, on this solemn weekend, what better way can we memorialize their sacrifice than swig beer, go to a race in Indianapolis, or buy shit made in Bangladesh on sale at Wal-Mart? After all--as said before--every man jack one of them died protecting The American Way of Life as we now know it.

Right.





5-25-19






 

   

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

A Brief History of Impeachment and Donald John Trump

There were 11 articles of impeachment leveled at Andrew Johnson, the 17th president of the United States. Nine of them directly addressed his firing of Edwin M. Stanton, the Secretary of War (these days known as the Secretary of Defense.)

The 10th article, in short, accused him of making public speeches during which his intent was to, "...bring into disgrace, ridicule, hatred, contempt, and reproach, the Congress of the United States." The 11th was, at its heart, "Bringing disgrace and ridicule to the presidency by his aforementioned words and actions."

Much later Ken Starr was an independent counsel investigating President Bill Clinton in what was known as the White Water affair--a land deal Clinton was involved with years before he took office in Washington.

After digging and digging Starr couldn't nail Clinton on anything. However, through a tenuous connection he was able to link Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern who had given Wild Bill two, or three blow jobs. Clinton, denied the BJ's and was accused of asking Lewinsky to do the same. The republican controlled House ended up impeaching Clinton on charges he lied to a grand jury about yet another extra marital affair which occurred prior to his presidency along with obstruction of justice.

Andrew Johnson was acquitted in his Senate trial by a single vote. When it was Clinton's turn in the dock over 100 years later the votes weren't even close. He left office, still president, a year later with a job approval rating of over 60%.

The only other president who faced impeachment was Richard Nixon. After the articles against him were drawn up, but before a vote in the House was taken he met with republican congressional leaders to see where he stood. All of them, including arch conservative Barry Goldwater, told him in no uncertain terms he was fucked. Facing certain conviction he resigned just in time to save his pension and other perks. Within days of his resignation he was pardoned by the new president, Gerald Ford of all crimes in the past and any which might come up in the future.

Andrew Johnson ended up being a less than one term president as did Ford. Ken Starr later became president of Baylor University. He was forced to resign after it was found a significant portion of the school's football team spent their off seasons committing rapes. The crimes were covered up by the head coach--a guy Starr had given complete and unquestioned reign over the program to. As for Clinton? He survived a heart attack after his presidency was over and continues to make big bucks speaking to various groups of people everywhere. His long suffering wife was defeated by the current resident of the White House in the 2016 presidential election, although she garnered three million more votes nationwide than he did.

All of which brings us to one Donald John Trump. He has gone way beyond a few speeches which are designed to bring hatred, ridicule, and all that other stuff to congress. Plus his very presence in the Oval Office is a disgrace to the presidency.

Lately his flat out refusal to allow aides and former aides to appear before congressional committees, in violation of subpoenas, could be and is, interpreted by many to be the very definition of obstruction of justice. Not to mention a brute power play meant to secure supreme authority in his hands and relegate the legislative branch as irrelevant as Russia's State Duma.

But, as we've just learned impeaching a president is no easy feat. Johnson was a democrat facing a congress which was overwhelmingly republican and even he survived. Clinton breezed through the process. Only Nixon appeared doomed, but we'll never know for sure.

Impeachment is also unpopular with the general public. Reports from the time indicate that, while Johnson wasn't a fan favorite, most people disapproved of the proceedings against him. Clinton's approval rating when he left office was 60%, but in the immediate aftermath of his Senate trial it was over 70%.

Now you know why Nancy Pelosi is so reluctant to green light the impeachment of Don Trump. Politically it could backfire on democrats not only in the next presidential election, but in the Senate and House as well. To put it in terms Game of Thrones fans will understand, if you go after a king, you'd better not miss.

And miss democrats will. The Senate will never convict Donald Trump at this point. In fact right now the fucker could walk naked down Pennsylvania Ave while masturbating and GOP Senators would vote to acquit.

On the other hand, Trump's arrogance and complete disregard for the fundamentals of American government and democracy must be confronted. I used to think he was ignorant of the legislative process. Now I believe he understands it, but simply has no respect, or use for it. Besides saying repeatedly a free press is the enemy of the people, he has told donors America might be better off with a president for life. The weird bromance with Vladimir Putin is well documented. There has even been speculation, by reasonable democrats, if he loses a razor thin election next year he might declare the results invalid for one reason, or another.

Let's face it, Nixon knew he was going down for high crimes and misdemeanors. Trump, who has committed them all his life with impunity doesn't even grasp the concept of wrong doing. He is the most dangerous of all things--a spoiled, self entitled, rich thug who has never been told no by anyone.

All those factors added together are why I've decided that, while the effort will be in vain, for the sake of the republic, it is time to impeach the son of a bitch.

Hey, sometimes a lost cause is better than no cause at all.



5-22-19

Friday, May 17, 2019

Calling for a Mulligan: Season Eight of Game of Thrones Isn't Ending the way 800,000 Fans Want

The term mulligan originated in golf, although the exact moment and place is up to debate. You take a mulligan after hitting a shot so badly the ball either takes off on one of those seemingly impossible angles to the right, or like, Amelia Earhart, disappears into a vast expanse of water. Although completely against the strict rules of golf, the accepted way to hit a mulligan is to place a new ball at the exact spot you fucked up a few seconds before and hit again without counting the extra stroke.

This is, metaphorically, what nearly a million people want HBO to do when it comes to the mega hit series, "Game of Thrones." After seven years of murderous plots, counter plots, assassinations, sorcery, mass crucifixions, graphic sexual assaults, and bloody battles a significant number of the show's fans are signing an online petition which calls for the cable network to re-write and re-shoot its entire season eight.

Why? Well, they don't like the way things have gone so far this year. Screw what must be monumental costs--the show is shot in multiple countries with an extensive, if always expendable cast and features big screen production values and CGI special effects. None of that matters to the outraged signers, most likely because none of them will have to pay for a six episode re-shoot. They want new directors who won't film a massive night battle at night. They also want writers, and this is at the core of the GoT rebellion, who won't turn the character, Daenerys Targaryen into a middle earth female version of Adolf Hitler with dragons.

Game of Thrones is based on a series of fantasy novels written by George R.R. Martin collectively called A Song of Ice and Fire. The tale is about a war in the mythical land of Westeros. The prize everyone is scrambling for is possession of the Iron Throne. At its heart Game of Thrones is a fictional mish mash loosely inspired by ancient history. It is part War of the Roses, part the sacking of Carthage, with dashes of Spartacus, and the rape of the Sabine women thrown in--along with sorcery, prophesies, zombies, and the aforementioned dragons.

The series of novels has a large cult following. The TV adaptations, filled with drama, intrigue, and compelling, if oft times, vile characters attracted hordes of others who had never heard of Martin, or A Song of Ice and Fire. It was a hit from the beginning and has grown into an obsession for millions.

So much so, YouTube features a disturbing number of videos which show nothing but various groups of people reacting to episodes with emotions ranging from absolute horror to triumphant joy, depending on what is happening any particular night.

However there was a problem from the very start which no one, for a number of years, wanted to confront. When filming started Martin hadn't finished the series. He still hasn't. In other words there is no literary ending to GoT. Season eight has come not from the author, but the screenwriters.

There was some low key grumbling about the episodes which had gone beyond the books, however the first real wave of complaints came after episode three this year. The Long Night was, almost in its entirety, an apocalyptic battle between just about everyone ever seen on the show and the supernatural forces of The Night King. It happened, as you can guess, during the middle of the night. Despite an ending which prompted fans in bars and at home to react as if WWII had just ended complaints began to flood the internet.

The scenes were lit too dimly and, at times, you couldn't clearly see enough details of what was happening they said. One response from a show exec was simple. If people had darkened their living rooms, or dens instead of keeping all the lights on they would have seen everything fine. Of course if they had it would have screwed up all those videos which, within a day, showed up on YouTube. Hey, if we turn out the lights the entire world won't be able see my girl friend and I scream and gape like ten year olds.

All that was nothing though compared to what happened after episode five, The Bells.

The character of Daenerys, the mother of dragons, played by Emilia Clarke has had a tough seven years. Among other things she was driven into exile, raped, taken forcibly into marriage, then lost both her husband and child. All the while she remained relatively humane--she rarely executed anyone who didn't deserve it--and in doing so gathered about her an army of devotees, both in the show and the viewing audience.

Last Sunday she, her army and remaining dragon arrived at the gates of King's Landing, home of the Iron Throne. Immediately after the city surrendered, in an amazing few seconds of acting by Clarke, you could see all those years of fear, abuse, bitterness, and repressed rage boil to the surface.

To the stunned horror of all the, "Dani," fans she drove her dragon and army into committing a wholesale massacre. It was a fiery nightmare during which no quarter was given to soldiers and civilians alike. The words graphic and gruesome do not begin to describe it.

The petition at Change.org was out there almost immediately. At last look it had over 800,000 signatures of people who were presumably betting on the mother of dragons to assume the throne with benevolence to all.

Stephen King, who has been known to write a book, or two responded to the outrage by saying it was probably more about the series coming to an end this week rather than, Dani's," permanent, or who knows, temporary insanity.

Possibly.

Martin, who still has two books to go, hasn't commented publicly about the turn of events and probably won't until after the finale day after tomorrow.

Whatever he does, or doesn't say however is moot. His work and ideas are no longer in control of the TV plot. Once he signed the contract and cashed the checks all that was given over to the screenwriters.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to tell you this, but the writer, or writers don't always think like you. It is their world, their story, while you the reader, or viewer are just a visitor. Indeed, it is your right not to like what is written, but you can't demand a mulligan just because the ending isn't what you think it should be. You might not believe it is fair after watching for eight years, but that's the way it works in the world of fiction. If you can't handle it, then I suggest you write your own fucking story.


sic vita est


5-17-19 

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Mother's Day Here, There and Everywhere

Ah, Mother's Day.

According to Wikipedia the modern American version of Mother's Day came about, at least officially, in 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation which designated the second Sunday in May an official U.S. holiday honoring mothers.

Three years later, in order to make sure their sons would appreciate the moment, he declared war and sent many of them off to fight in European trenches. While in France, American troops mailed so many letters home just prior to Mother's Day it swamped the French mail system. In response, those clever Frogs invented the post card which didn't take up as much room in canvass bags, or were nearly as heavy as a letter.

Wilson's act was actually the culmination of nine years of activism by Anna Jarvis, the daughter of Ann Reeves Jarvis who had died in 1905. Ann Reeves Jarvis was what right wing yahoos used to call a peacenik. During a time when there was very little peace in the land she was steadfastly against armed conflict and spent her time in the 1860's caring for both Union and Confederate soldiers wounded in the civil war. She also established Mother's work clubs in order to address public health issues. At the time this included teaching people stuff like don't piss in the creek your get your drinking water from.

Wikipedia notes that within six years, or so of the establishment of the holiday Anna Jarvis became completely disillusioned because Hallmark Cards and other corporations were exploiting the day for profit. By 1923 she was protesting at a convention of candy makers. In 1925 an organization called, American War Mothers began selling carnations on Mother's Day in order to raise money for their group. This enraged Jarvis so much she showed up at one of their meetings and had to be carted away after being charged with disturbing the peace.

Of course other nations have had different ideas about what Mother's Day should be. In France and Germany, both of which had suffered serious declines in population thanks to low birth rates and WWI, for a time the holiday honors were reserved only to those women who had hordes of children.

In the 1920s and later in the 1930s the Germans, being German, had a program of government subsidies to not only assist women with large numbers of kids, but to encourage others to do the same. Unfortunately if a child had a mental, or physical handicap dear Mom was out of the program and her tots were shipped off to a dark and terrible place.

By 1938 if a woman in der vaterland had at least four children she was awarded a medal named, the Mutterkreuz--the Mother's Cross. Hey, it takes a lot of young men to invade western Europe and Russia.

Sometimes the origins are more religious. In the UK on the fourth Sunday in Lent there was what they called, Mothering Day. For centuries it didn't have anything to do with your mother, but was a Sunday during which you visited your mother church, the one you were christened in. It melded into Mother's day after the Brits saw what an ado American troops made about the holiday during WWII. In the early 1950's after the Yank presence was gone UK merchants realized the gold mine the holiday could become and began advertising campaigns to promote it. To this day it is still observed on the fourth Sunday in Lent, although the whole mother church thing seems to have diminished somewhat.

Many Latin countries have sort of done the same thing. They merged Mother's Day into holidays which originally celebrated the Virgin Mary becoming pregnant with Jesus.

Others, like Bolivia celebrate it because during their war for independence the Spanish massacred all the women fighting against them at the battle of Cochabamba. Some choose to not mention mothers at all, but prefer to celebrate International Women's Day on February 28th--which had it's beginnings in the early socialist movement.

Yes, there are different dates, different reasons and histories. However the results are the same. Moms everywhere get a day and much to the chagrin of Anna Jarvis, florists, candy makers, the phone companies, and restaurant owners rake in huge bucks.

Such is the nature of the world we live in and capitalism. No matter what the theology, or tradition, someone cashes in.



5-12-19

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Jacob Wohl: Truth is an Obsolete Concept

Truth is an obsolete concept. It's something that can't be thought about in linear, binary true-false, facts-non-facts--you can't do that any more. It's just not the way it works. The veracity of the information I spread isn't important. All that matters is how far those claims travel and how many people believe them.

Jacob Wohl



Young Mr. Wohl is a world class internet troll. For a time he worked as a, "reporter," for the online right wing publication, The Gateway Pundit. He is also a former financier. His business practices were so sketchy he was banned for life by the National Futures Association. That was right before the Arizona Corporation Commission forced his companies to pay restitution to clients plus a fine of $5,000 after it found them guilty of 14 counts of securities fraud.

That's quite the resume' for a guy who won't turn 22 years old until this December.

But wait, as certain TV ads say, there is more.

Given his history of behavior it seems only natural Jacob Wohl is a huge fan of Donald John Trump.  However, Mr. Wohl isn't just another anonymous member of, The Great and Almighty Base. He is important enough to have posed with The Big Orange Guy for a photo op and had at least one of his twitter posts retweeted by the current President of the United States of America.

So how does a young fellow make such an impression on the so called leader of the free world? Well, in 2018 he and his pal, lobbyist Jack Burkman, tried to frame Special Counsel Robert Mueller for sexual misconduct with a woman. The purpose of the operation was simple. Discredit Mueller and either severely hamstring, or end his investigation into the connection between Trump's 2016 campaign and the Russians.

It wasn't a particularly well thought out plan. According to Wikipedia a Vermont Law School Professor received a call from an outfit called Surefire Intelligence. The Surefire agent asked her to divulge, "past encounters with Mueller," then offered her cash if she would discuss Mueller's behavior over the phone.

That proved to be a problem since the Professor, Jennifer Taub, told the caller she had never even met Mueller. After hanging up she called Mueller's office to tell them about the call. Mueller's people promptly called the FBI.

Then, as Mac Davis once said in a movie, came the weird part. In mid October 2018, a person claiming to be a woman named, Lorraine Parsons began emailing journalists across a broad spectrum of media. The mysterious, Ms Parsons claimed Surefire Intelligence had been hired by Burkman to offer her, $20,000 to sign a false affidavit accusing Mueller of sexual misconduct. Not surprisingly, "Lorraine Parsons," refused to speak on the phone to any of the reporters she had emailed.

Within a day The Gateway Pundit printed accusations by, Lorraine Parsons against Mueller. Then, less than 24 hours later, Gateway deleted the article. The following day Wohl tweeted Mueller's office was behind the entire Parsons deal in order to distract the public from a press conference he and Burkman were holding on November 1st which would feature the actual woman who had been Mueller's victim. Both Burkman and Wohl admitted Parsons didn't exist while denying either of them had anything to do with the hoax.

Mueller's alleged victim never showed at the presser, Wohl and Burkman told the assembled media she was in fear for her life and in hiding. The woman, Carolyne Cass, later told USA Today she had hired Surefire Intelligence through a Craiglist ad on an unrelated matter which they didn't resolve. She also said she had been offered a job by Surefire employee, Matthew Cohen. She told USA Today a document bandied about by Wohl which described Mueller's aggressions was totally fabricated and her signature was a forgery. In the immediate aftermath of the press conference The Gateway Pundit fired Jacob Wohl's ass.

But hold on you say. Just who are these devilish rascals at Surefire Intelligence? Well, it turns out Matthew Cohen was an online identity used by, Jacob Wohl. Surefire was created by him in 2018. Its website posted pictures of so called, "operatives," one of which was an altered photo of Wohl. Another was of the actor, Christoph Waltz. Wohl, ever the one for details, also created employee profiles on the LinkedIn professional site, some of which featured photos of other celebrities.

Of course the Mueller plot is only one of many in this brave new world of right wing internet politics. Just last month Wohl and Burkman tried to pull the same scam on democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg. It didn't even get as far as the Mueller charges did. As soon as the gay Trump supporter they were trying to enlist as Buttigieg's victim found out what they were up to he blabbed to everyone about their mendacity.

In the past, Wohl has stated candidate Kamala Harris is ineligible to run for President because when she was born her parents had yet to become U.S. citizens. (She was born in Oakland, CA which automatically made her a citizen.) He also posted, through a fake Twitter account he had created, she used sex to further her professional and political career. In February of this year he traveled to Minneapolis in order to accuse congresswoman Ilhan Omar of marrying her brother, so he could get American citizenship. While there he claimed, "Somali Jihadists," controlled swaths of the city and Minneapolis police had declared those neighborhoods, "no go zones," when it came to patrolling them. Minnesota republican state Representative Pat Garofalo called the allegations, "a lie," and, "a farce."

Yes, but as we've seen, lies don't mean anything to Jacob Wohl. As he so succinctly put it, "All that matters is how far those claims travel and how many people believe them."

Tragically, in this day and age, a vast number of people absolutely believe Wohl's toxic lies. No, not because they make any sense, they certainly don't, or even if they are subsequently proven false which they always are. It's because the yokels in those red MAGA hats want to believe them.

And Jacob Wohl, even at the tender age of 21, knows it.


sic vita est


5-7-19