So while the republicans foam at the mouth in Tampa, Hurricane Isaac slams the Gulf Coast, and some guy in India opens a clothing store named "Hitler" with a swastika dotting the "i", The Today Show has uncovered an awful truth tucked away in Britain.
The other day the show aired photos of one Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor tooling around behind the wheel of a black Range Rover while wearing an ominous gray hoodie. Yes, Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland and of Her Other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith was on the street with members of her posse and obviously up to no good.
It was unclear if the Queen was out looking to score some Skittles, or searching for a condo to burglarize. However her actions were highly suspicious since it is well known that British Royalty wearing hoodies are nothing but a bunch of cheap jack thugs living the gangster life style.
British police have not released any reports regarding her shady past, or gang affiliations. Photos posted on her Facebook page and cell phone records have not yet been made public. It certainly appears Scotland Yard isn't nearly as efficient as their American counterparts and the media there is not on the ball like it is here in the states. If she had been acting with such dubious motives in Florida, where there are gun regulations that can deal properly with people like her, all kinds of drastic shit would have hit the fan.
Unfortunately George Zimmerman is currently unavailable to keep an eye on the possible felon so there is no telling what she is up to as I type. What we do know is that we need to exercise extreme caution when she approaches. If she is coming toward you, cross to the other side of the street so she can't shake you down for your money or credit cards. Keep an eye on her hands to make sure she doesn't reach for a piece, because it is common knowledge that all these Windsor mother fuckers are strapped with 9 millimeter Glocks.
I'm telling you it is a world gone mad. The Royals simply don't respect anyone or anything and they're everywhere.
Unfortunately, as brother Zimmerman told police dispatch one rainy night, "These punks, they always get away."
Well, hopefully some off duty neighborhood watch "captain" will run her to ground and teach her a lesson she'll never forget.
Sic Semper Gangstas.