Friday, October 28, 2016

So Ends the Strange and Gruesome Saga of Jaymie Adams: Joe Cyr Gets Life Without Parole

I am letting any willing man come and have his way with my wife with a little compensation for us to help with our holiday funding we need. So if this sounds hot and fun for you then just email me. We have a hotel for the night and can host for anyone.

A Craigslist ad composed and posted by Justin Adams in early December, 2011




While no one will ever confuse Justin Adams' writing skills with, say, F. Scott Fitzgerald he did get his message across.

According to his testimony his wife, Jaymie had been steadily pulling down tricks on the 9th and 10th of December, 2011. Late the second evening she drove to Midwest City to meet with a man who had been calling and texting her about prices. His name was Joe Cyr. It would be the last time anyone saw her alive.

A group of dirt bikers found her body on January 7th, 2012 in far southeast Oklahoma City. She had been stabbed 29 times and her jaw was broken in three places.

Yesterday, a jury of 11 women and one man found Joseph Richard Cyr guilty of two counts of 1st degree murder. The first was for Jaymie Adams and the second was for her two month old unborn fetus. They gave him two life terms without the possibility of parole.

So ends the strange and gruesome saga of Jaymie Adams. She was the fourth woman murdered in the OKC metro area that fall and winter. The first was Carina Saunders, then Kelsey Bransby, and the third was, Alina Fitzpatrick.

Two of Bransby's friends were implicated in her shooting death and found guilty. The OSBI is still working the Saunders' murder, having taken it over after the Bethany police screwed the pooch so thoroughly no one could tell which end was up. Fitzpatrick's death in early November was almost immediately filed away and forgotten. Rather than call the case a homicide, investigators classified it as "suspicious." Apparently that's the term Oklahoma City police use when they find the nude body of a teenage girl in a field with a gag stuffed in her mouth.

Immediately after Jaymie Adams' body was found her husband began babbling a series of lies in an attempt to cover up the truth he was nothing more than a two bit pimp and his wife was a hooker. All it got him was the focus of police attention.

Justin Adams was initially charged with her murder, but police and the DA's office couldn't make it stick. Then along came Joe Cyr.

During interviews Cyr admitted he had been texting and calling Adams on the 10th, but maintained he didn't actually hook up with her. By April of 2013 police had DNA evidence and were convinced Cyr was the guy.

At the trial the defense admitted Cyr had lied to the cops about meeting her, but said the sex between them was a consensual business deal after which both parties went their separate, merry, ways. The argument was the defendant simply didn't want to admit he had sex with a hooker and he was scared.

The prosecution brought in two female witnesses who claimed the accused had a dark fetish which involved getting women pregnant without their consent. According to the assistant DA, Cyr snapped after Adams insisted he use a condom, then resisted his advances when he refused.

Defense attorneys pointed out that despite the prosecution's assertion Adams left in Cyr's truck there was absolutely none of her DNA, blood, or hair found in his vehicle.

The jury didn't buy it. Cyr's DNA in the body sealed the deal. It took them seven hours to convict and come to an agreement on his sentence.

Kyle Schwab of The Oklahoman reported that as Joe Cyr was led out of the courtroom after the verdict, he turned to relatives and said, "It's okay."

No, it really isn't. Jaymie Adams is still dead. Her goof of a husband, who testified it was her idea to start hooking, is serving a 10 year probation for manslaughter because he facilitated her murder. Now Joseph Richard Cyr is going away for the rest of his life.

How can any of that be okay?

I didn't think so.

Ladies and gentlemen, for obvious reasons, the bar is open.


10-28-16

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Ominous Signs Everywhere

At the moment there are ominous signs sprouting up everywhere.

Hillary Rodham Clinton appears to be slipping both in Florida and Nevada. At the same time early voting in heavily democratic northern Ohio is less than half of what it was four years ago. These disturbing revelations for Mrs. Clinton arrive as conflicting national polls are muddling the waters when it comes to what the real final election numbers will be. Despite this seemingly positive development, Donald Trump is ratcheting up his claims the election will be rigged. At the same time he is continuing to urge his supporters to commit acts of poll place vigilantism in what he calls, "certain areas."

When it comes to those, areas, he is fond of telling his supporters, "You know where I mean." The threat of election day violence is so palpable in a few places, there are reports some schools, which serve as voting venues, have decided to cancel classes for the day.

Meanwhile, Trump's vitriolic rhetoric and unprecedented paranoia have whipped his followers into a frenzy the likes of which hasn't been seen since 1860.

Former tea party/alt-right Illinois congressman, Joe Walsh, who became a radio host after he was thoroughly thrashed by Tammy Duckworth one term into his career, sent out this tweet, "On November 8th I'm voting for Donald Trump. On November 9th, if Trump loses, I'm grabbing my musket."

CNN correspondent, Jake Tapper immediately asked Walsh, "What exactly does that mean?"

Walsh's response was, "It means protesting. Participating in acts of civil disobedience. Doing what it takes to get our country back."

When someone warned Walsh that such language could be construed as advocating an armed response to the results of a legal election he responded, "I don't think a musket would do much good these days, but it's time for civil disobedience on the right."

Walsh is the same vicious clown who in July tweeted, "3 Dallas cops killed, 7 wounded. This is now war. Watch out Obama. Watch out black lives matter punks. Real America is coming after you."

It isn't just Joe Walsh either. The Boston Globe grabbed a quote from Trump supporter, Dan Bowman while he was at one of those raucous rallies El Don loves so much. Bowman said, "If she (Clinton) is in office I hope we can start a coup. She should be in prison, or shot. We're going to have a revolution and take them out of office. There's going to be a lot of bloodshed. But that's what it's going to take. I would do whatever I can for my country."

Well here's something you can do for your country, Dan--stop advocating treason. Hey, it's just a thought.

It has previously been said here and in other places, we are witnessing the end of an age. The days of America being run exclusively by white guys, for white guys, and to the exclusion and detriment of practically everybody else who lives here are coming to a close.

Obviously people like Walsh and Bowman aren't taking the news well.

And, because they aren't, they're willing to let their denial and rage lead them into the murky whirlpool of conspiracy theories and ultimately to threats of participating in violent revolt. Doing so provides them with an excuse to avoid coming to grips with the new national demographic and, in the end, continuing to participate in a legitimate democracy.

All of which leaves us to wonder, if America is no longer great--just how does their level of brute racism and sedition make the republic that way again?

No doubt the answer to the question can only be found in--to paraphrase Jim Morrison-- the squirming like a toad brain of, Donald John Trump.



sic vita est



10-27-16

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Two Weeks Left: November 8th Can't Get Here Quck Enough

With two weeks left before the election Mr. Donald John Trump is running completely amok. Lies and half truths are flying out of the big orange guy nonstop now. It is a level of desperate deception unprecedented in American national politics.

Yesterday he tweeted, "We are winning and the press is refusing to report it. Don't let them fool you--get out and vote #draintheswamp on November 8th." He also claimed the democrats are making up fake polls to suppress his support. Then, later in the day, in front of some Florida farmers he claimed it was actually the media who is promoting "phony polls." In true Trump fashion he failed to name any of these faked polls, or the news organizations behind them.

This sudden distrust of polling comes directly on the heels of his assertion, "every poll" showed he won the third presidential debate--one of them going so far as to say over 90% of the people asked said he won it.

In fact he invoked more unnamed polls also on Monday when he said, "Polls show us close in New Hampshire, Colorado, and Pennsylvania. Winning just one of those states would lead us to victory."

Jeez, make up your mind will you, Don. Or, at the very least give it a day before you change your mind about something.

On Sunday he went on TV in Florida to complain about the media. He said, "England has a system where if they are wrong things happen." They do indeed and Americans found it so distasteful we had a revolution so those things wouldn't happen here. It is why there is a first amendment to the constitution guaranteeing it.

NBC reports that on Monday he told another Florida TV outlet the United States military has, "conceptually" endorsed him. It is unclear how he received this information. What is perfectly clear though is the United States armed forces are not permitted to endorse anyone, conceptually, or other wise. In fact the founding fathers were so edgy about the military getting involved in elections they made sure its commander in chief would always be a civilian. As is the Secretary of Defense and the secretaries under him, or her who run each of the branches.

Well these are details which just get in the way and that has never stopped our Don. He is still claiming he has been endorsed by the federal agency known as ICE. That would be Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The agency itself, like the military can't endorse anyone. The actual endorsement Trump got was from the National Immigration and Customs Enforcement Council. It's a union which represents around 5,000 of ICE's 20,000 plus employees.

Brother Don also claims he has the support of almost every police department in the nation. Again on Monday, he tweeted he had just received an endorsement from the St. John's County (FL) Sheriff's Department. It was news to them. After learning of Trump's tweet the department quickly went on both Facebook and Twitter to say it hasn't endorsed any one.

No wonder WikiLeaks hasn't released damaging emails from the Trump camp. To do so would be completely redundant. Let's face it, all you have to do to catch the bastard in a lie is listen to what he is saying at any given moment. He doesn't even try to cover them up--which says a lot about what Donald Trump really thinks about the American public. And it has from day one of his fetid campaign.

Yes, November 8th can't get here quick enough. Maybe then we will finally be rid of this gruesome werewolf once and for all. 



sic vita est


10-25-16

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Round Three Goes to Hillary Clinton as Trump Looks To Be On the Ropes

The final debate is over now and this presidential election is officially in the home stretch. As it comes down to the wire it is increasingly apparent the luxury cruise ship S.S. Trump is taking on heavy water and listing precariously.

A CNN/ORC snap poll taken immediately after the proceedings in Las Vegas showed 52% of the people who saw it believed Hillary Rodham Clinton won the affair compared to 39% who thought Donald Trump did. There can be little doubt sometime before today is over Brother Trump will say the results of survey were rigged.

Why wouldn't he? He has a long, proud, history of saying things are rigged when they don't break his way. He did in high school when he accused a study partner of cheating on a chemistry test after the kid got a better grade on it than he did. He howled about the Emmy awards being rigged when his show, "The Apprentice," either didn't win, or was nominated. Hell, the guy spent the entire primary season complaining the GOP nomination process was rigged. His bellyaching continued right up to the moment in Cleveland when he won the damned thing.

Now, as we all know, he's saying it's the general election which will be rigged. He is fixated on the notion, not because of any verifiable facts, but because his campaign is in deep shit. No amount of proof, or indisputable data can, or will dissuade him from this conclusion.

Why? Because his run amok narcissism won't allow it. In his demented brain, the only way Donald John Trump can lose at anything is because dark forces plot against him.

This monstrous ego is what led him to self immolate last night. When asked by Chris Wallace if he would accept the election results if he lost he said, "I will look at it at the time. I'm not looking at anything now. I'll look at it at the time."

The dumbstruck Wallace even offered him a second chance to get it right, but Trump went all in by saying he'd keep not only Wallace, but the nation "in suspense."

Secretary Clinton immediately called the answer, "horrifying." The post debate chatter last night was dominated by shock and speculation over what Trump's words would mean for the nation after the election if he refused to concede defeat.

It isn't clear what Trump was trying to accomplish by saying what he did. However, the immediate affect of it was to allow the talking heads, especially on MSNBC, to avoid admitting that for the first half hour, Donald Trump actually looked and sounded more presidential than he has in the past 18 months. It isn't that he necessarily won the first half hour, but at least he stuck to the issues and articulated them as well as any other conservative might.

Of course, Trump being--well--Trump, it went down hill from there.

It was quickly obvious that beyond right wing talking points about the Supreme Court, gun control, and abortion Trump's depth of knowledge regarding issues paled in comparison to Mrs. Clinton's.

Her mastery of details seemed to leave him confused and defensive and opened him up to a series of sharp jabs which, if he had a response at all, it seemed to come straight from a 6th grade school yard.

When she said Putin liked him because he wanted a puppet in the White House, Trump's only answer was, "No puppet. No puppet. You're the puppet. No, you're the puppet."

After she suggested he would be trying to get out of paying taxes, he leaned into the microphone and said, "Such a nasty woman."

Ah yes, so much for looking presidential.

It became so bad, after Clinton attacked his attitudes toward women and he replied, "No one has more respect for women than I do," the audience laughed.

My God, what must have been going through his mind at the moment? Whatever it was, the ego was back this morning. Earlier today at a rally in Ohio he told the faithful he'd absolutely accept the results of the election--if he wins.

Even though Don Trump won't admit it, he knows he lost last night. We can be sure he believes it, because in a tweet today he hinted the debate had been--yes, you guessed it--rigged. He wrote Mrs. Clinton received a question to be asked in advance, thereby letting her rehearse her response. The Commission on Presidential Debates quickly sent out an email stating the only person in the world who knew the questions to be asked was the moderator, Chris Wallace.

When faced with the truth, El Don, in true Trump fashion, walked back the accusation by claiming he was referring to a town hall meeting held during the democratic primaries. That would be one he didn't participate in, because, you know, he's a republican, so he wasn't there.

The election is less than three weeks away. Donald Trump looks to be on the ropes, flailing away with dead arms at an energized foe who is up on her toes, as she bobs, weaves, and relentlessly delivers left hooks to the body.

Will there be a knock out punch? Probably not. But, Hillary Rodham Clinton, at this late date, is so far ahead on points only an unforeseen catastrophe will prevent her from winning the bout.

At least that's the call from this side of the ring.




10-20-16

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The 2016 Presidential Campaign: Weirdness to the Extreme

The madness is building to a crescendo of unbelievable proportions.

Out in Phoenix the Arizona Republic newspaper endorsed a democratic candidate running in the presidential election for the first time in 125 years. Since then reporters for the paper, who had nothing to do with the decision, have received death threats. Members of the publication's door to door sales force, who had even less to do with it, have said they've been screamed at and spit on. There have also been callers who hope a Trump administration, once in power, will toss the constitution out the window and close the media outlet. If that doesn't work, they expressed their feelings, in the strongest of terms, the entire place should be burned down.

Of course the craziness in AZ pales in comparison to what happened in Orange County, N.C. on October 16th. That day the GOP's local headquarters actually was firebombed and severely damaged. The grotesque fools who perpetrated the crime are still on the loose as the FBI and local authorities investigate what amounts to an act of terrorism.

Meanwhile republican vice presidential candidate Mike Pence is asserting Donald Trump's claims the election will be rigged are based on his perception the media is biased in favor of Hillary Clinton--not because of voter fraud.

Obviously Governor Pence needs to check with his boss. Yesterday Trump tweeted, "Of course there is large scale voter fraud happening on and before election day. Why do republican leaders deny what is going on? So naive."

The big orange guy isn't the only one who thinks that way. A recent poll found nearly half of his supporters think their votes won't be counted accurately. In fact they are so convinced of election day chicanery, at a recent rally, Milwaukee Sheriff David Clark shouted to the cheering throng--when it comes to stopping voter fraud--"It's time for pitchforks and torches."

Today, The Guardian is reporting, Mike Roman has been named as Trump's head of poll security. Roman was once chief of the Koch brothers now disbanded, internal intelligence agency. He is best known for promoting a video of alleged voter intimidation in 2008 by two members of the New Black Panther Party.

The Guardian story quotes, University of California-Irvine election law professor, Rick Hasen as saying, (Roman) "...has been somebody who has been more than willing to put forth more outrageous statements about voter fraud and the election process. I don't consider him a very responsible voice among republicans on this question and I'm not surprised that Trump would be using him for polling related efforts."

The next step is for Trump zealots to challenge the ballots of every minority citizen who enters voting places on election day.

Then we come to Vladimir Zhirinovsky, a Russian nationalist and sometime Vlad Putin proxy. He had this to say during a Reuters interview, "Americans voting for a president on November 8th must realize they are voting for peace on the planet earth if they vote for Trump. But if they vote for Hillary it's war. It will be a short movie. There will be Hiroshimas and Nagasakis every where."

What does it say about a republican candidate for president of the United States when he is openly supported by a toady of the de-facto Russian dictator?

Zhirinovsky's endorsement came just prior to El Don saying that, if elected, he would meet Putin before he is inaugurated. Presumably the trip would be to thank the former KGB man for his help with the email shit and say something along the lines of, "Go ahead, do what you want. I could care less about Ukraine and the Baltic states."

Just in case you were wondering, the sound you hear late at night is Ronald Reagan spinning in his grave.

Yes it has become weird to the extreme. It isn't going to stop after November 8th either. If Trump loses, even if he doesn't come out and say a fix was in, his supporters are going to believe it. That's what happens when most of the rubes who think you're great are also convinced the whole world is run by the Bilderberg Group, the Trilateral Commission, and ultimately, the Illuminati.

All of which begs the question, how is it we've sunk to this level of insanity? Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure even the Good Lord knows.



sic vita est



10-18-16

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Carina Saunders: Five Years Later There Are More Things Than We Will Ever Know

Five years ago on this date animal control officers were prowling through a field behind a Homeland grocery store in the Oklahoma City suburb of Bethany. They were searching for feral cats. What they found was the dismembered body of 19 year old Carina Saunders stuffed in a duffel bag.

She had been reported missing by her family a little over two weeks earlier. News accounts at the time said she was last seen near I-40 and Rockwell Ave. climbing into a SUV driven by a gray haired man in his forties.

Yesterday, the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation held a news conference to reassure everyone they were still trying to find out who perpetrated the crime. They made pleas to the public for help and announced they were offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to the recovery of a phone video supposedly showing Saunders' murder.

Thanks to the brutality of her death and the possibility some accomplice decided to tape it, the case of Carina Saunders has both fascinated and horrified the OKC metro area for half a decade. Rumors and facts swirled wildly in the media following the discovery of her decapitated body. So much so they have become nearly impossible to separate.

Initially, the 31 member Bethany Police Department was running the show. Detectives, Jack Jencks and Austin Warfield were in charge of the investigation. To say they were in over their heads from the beginning is an understatement.

Within months at least 12 different names were connected in one way, or another to the murder. Among them was Tia Downour. It was initially reported Ms. Downour had seen part of the phone video. That morphed into hearsay. Downour quickly claimed she had been told by an acquaintance, Mindy Cottier she was the one who had actually seen the video.

When the investigation began to unravel an attorney, Scott Adams, who was representing one of the witnesses, was quoted as saying, "She certainly said she saw a video, but the problem with that is I never saw any proof of that and neither did police."

During the Wednesday news conference, OSBI director, Stan Florence said his agency, "...has a strong belief there is in existence a video of the murder. We have strong reason to believe that video still exists."

In July 2012 Luis Ruiz and Jimmy Lee Massey were charged with the crime. But, it didn't take long for everyone to realize the Bethany PD had utterly screwed the pooch. In March 2013 The Oklahoman reported, their, "Probable cause affidavits contained conflicting witness statements and did not support the evidence."

Ultimately the charges against both Ruiz and Massey were dropped and the Bethany cops turned the case over to the OSBI. Jencks and Warfield were fired, then reinstated, even though Jencks faced charges of stealing controlled substances from the Bethany property room.

Since then the only new information released by the OSBI came yesterday when they announced two tidbits. First, Florence told the media his agency was in possession of a security video tape from Newcastle Casino. He said it shows Saunders getting into a four door red Ford pick up truck with a brush guard and lights on the cab. That was October 8th, five days before her body was discovered. According to the story in The Oklahoman by, Matt Dinger, "The only description of anyone inside the pickup is a man with full tattoo sleeves on both arms."

Second, the Director said, "...there were girls nearby in a dark car who were pleading with Carina not to go with them. To this date we don't know who those girls were, but we'd like to know who they were. If they will come forward we'd like to talk to them, find out what they saw, what they witnessed, why they were concerned about Carina's safety and getting in this red pickup."

How the OSBI knows those unidentified girls were pleading with Carina Saunders not to get in the truck remains unclear, as does the mysterious reference to, "them," as opposed to a single tatted up guy. Perhaps Florence just misspoke about the number of people in the pickup. After all, it wouldn't be the first time someone fucked up during the investigation of this nightmare.

The only other oddity which emerged yesterday came not from the OSBI, but Saunders' cousin, Kati Bloodworth. She was quoted as saying, "I do feel guilty about dropping her off that night and I always will."

Think about it. Carina Saunders had been reported missing by her family on September 28th. Yet, her cousin just admitted she knew exactly where she was on October 8th.

Yes, as the Bard wrote, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio."

Indeed, more than any of us will ever know, much less understand.

Increasingly, it appears the death of Carina Saunders is one of them.




10-13-16

Monday, October 10, 2016

Trump Kinda, Sorta Wins Round Two

Donald Trump didn't win Sunday night in St. Louis, but he didn't lose either. Yes, the bizarre, psycho drama which, at times, resembled an early Roman Polanski movie shot while the director was on acid, ended in a contentious draw.

Given what had gone down in the days leading up to the confrontation the tie will allow Trump to claim he won. In fact, it didn't take, but a minute after it was over for his running mate, Mike Pence to send him a message praising his, "impressive victory."

Today, Pence is backing Trump all the way after he said he would have Hillary Clinton investigated and prosecuted post inauguration day. That's a far cry from Friday evening when the allegedly religious Indiana governor was practically disowning the Trumpster for his sexually callous and lewd remarks on an "Access Hollywood," tape which exploded in the media that morning.

Trump's displeasure with Pence's reaction to the sordid tape and his sudden popularity among certain GOP hot shots was clearly on display last night. When asked about White Mike's stance on Syria, which is pretty much the opposite of his, Trump responded with terse, iciness, "Governor Pence and I disagree on the issue." When he said it, El Don's steely glare made you believe he was an inch from pointing directly at the camera in order to tell his choice for vice president, "You're fired."

Of course that was the least twisted thing on Trump's mind. Prior to the debate he held a press conference with four women, three of whom have accused Bill Clinton of sexual abuse. The fourth was a rape victim whose attacker was defended by a court appointed attorney named, Hillary Clinton. She didn't get the guy off, but managed to secure a reduced sentence.

According to reports the original plan was that the four women would be seated in Trump's VIP seating section and would enter the hall at the exact moment as Bill Clinton. The presidential debate commission found out about the plot and told Trump's people if they tried to pull the stunt security would escort the women out of the hall. They were seated early, behind the candidate's family.

When he wasn't ignoring, or evading questions, Trump attacked with a blizzard of accusations, half truths, and outright lies. The most outrageous of which was the claim he never tweeted the words, "check out sex tape," (of Alicia Machado, the former Miss Universe who Clinton had cited in the first debate as being a victim of Trump's run amok misogyny.)

The tweet, sent out between 3am and 5am, read, "Did crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia M. become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate?" The denial was a moment of supreme surrealism, one that not even Salvador Dali could surpass in his weirdest phantasms.

To reinforce his claims of media bias, a couple of times, Trump went all bitchy-whiny, complaining  the moderators were letting Mrs. Clinton run over her allotted time while they were cutting him off. The truth is both candidates ran over while Cooper and Raddatz tried to control the pace of vitriol on both sides.

Meanwhile, as Hillary Clinton spoke, the Big Orange Guy prowled the stage like a caged bear. In more than a few instances he seemed to be stalking her by coming uncomfortably close to her back while she faced the audience. It was as if he was practicing some ancient aboriginal ritual of intimidation and dominance.

Yes, Donald J. Trump's win last night wasn't that he out debated Hillary Clinton, but he was able avoid what could have been a campaign ending disaster.

By doing so there is no doubt he drove his followers into spasms of glee. However, we can also be sure he didn't convert any of Hillary's followers. The question at hand is did Brother Trump sway any independents, or undecided women? The answer will come in a few weeks.

In the mean time what we do know is, Donald Trump isn't running against Bill Clinton, but he is most certainly on record bragging he can grab any woman's "pussy" with impunity because he is a star.

And, ultimately, that's the reality of where Don Trump is right now.







10-10-16

Friday, October 7, 2016

A Nation of Hysterics: From a Martian Invasion to Scary Clowns

It goes without saying America is a nation chock full of hysterics. From a Martian invasion carried live on radio, to the promised Y2K meltdown 16 years ago, and the dreaded apocalypse at the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012, it's proven we go nuts when it comes to weird shit. Hey, how else can you explain the presence of Donald J. Trump at the top of the republican presidential ticket?

Other than the aforementioned, Trump, the current great scare is clowns. That's right, clowns. It seems they are everywhere and every last one of them is creepy.

The latest epidemic of craziness began at the end of August in Greenville, South Carolina. A little boy living in an apartment complex told his mother two clowns tried to lure him into nearby woods. It didn't take long for similar reports to surface in the same area, then spread like a wildfire across the face of the continent.

The newest incident was in Chickasha, Oklahoma. Early Monday morning a man told authorities he ventured outside at 3am to smoke a cigarette only to see a menacing clown nearby. He claimed when he used his cell phone to call 911 the clown ran away. Police arrived a little over a minute later and searched the neighborhood. However, just like every other sighting which has haunted people from coast to coast, they couldn't find a trace of the suspect.

Yes, they're not only scary, but, despite those big ass shoes, they are really fast.

It's hard to tell when clowns began to take bad raps. It probably started with a guy named John Wayne Gacy who lived near Chicago. When he wasn't appearing at children's parties and charity events dressed as Pogo the clown he was busy murdering 33 young men. The killings ended in 1978 when he was popped for the disappearance of a local teenager. Within days of his arrest cops began digging up bodies in the crawl space under Gacy's home. The media quickly dubbed him the, "Killer Clown."

In the years immediately following Pogo's arrest and conviction things became ugly for clowns in the Chicago area. So much so columnist, Mike Royko wrote a piece condemning the levels of harassment and violence being perpetrated against them during parades and the like.

Stephen King's novel, "It," arrived at bookstores in 1986. Like much of King's work it was an instant best seller. The supernatural villain, named Pennywise, The Dancing Clown, preyed on children in the fictional Maine town of Derry every three decades, or so. It was made into a TV mini-series in 1990 and a feature film adaptation is due out in September, 2017.

In 1988 the movie, "Killer Clowns From Outer Space," was released and became a cult classic. The plot revolved around a group of fresh faced teenagers who were relentlessly stalked and gruesomely dispatched one after the other by a gaggle of deadly mutant clowns.

And it probably didn't help that in 1989 a couple of guys named Joseph Bruce and Joseph Utsler began rapping while known as, Inner City Posse. They quickly morphed into what is now called, Insane Clown Posse as they shifted their genre to what is known as, "horrorcore."

While their faces are painted in clown make up they pound out lyrics like, "First thing I'll do is kill a couple of hotties. That always gets them monstered up. Decapitated bodies."

So much for all those funny guys unfolding out of a tiny car in the center ring of the Shrine Circus. Thanks to our paranoid hysteria, those innocent days look to be as long gone as letting our kids eat a neighbor's home made popcorn balls and caramel apples on Halloween.

Indeed, we have many boogie men--Martian invaders, incompetent computer programmers, mystical Mayan mathematicians, and now clowns.

Given our nature is it any wonder many of us have made the leap directly from them to Hispanic and Muslim immigrants?

I didn't think so.


10-7-16

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Three Things We Learned on Tuesday

We learned three things yesterday.

The first was that Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, is a pretty good con artist when he wants to be. He had promised to deliver The Great October Surprise in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. The word was his revelations would have a direct impact on the United States presidential election. He shifted the venue of the press conference at the last moment due to what was called, "specific information." No one knows what that information was, but there is no doubt the right wing minions interpreted it as the discovery of a Clinton team of snipers on the prowl.

All the anticipation drove thousands, if not millions, of Trumpists to either stay up late, or rise early so they could witness what they assumed would be the downfall of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The salivating was intense enough it moved the head of The Trump Thug Brigade, Roger Stone to tweet on Saturday, "@Hillary Clinton is done." Alex Jones, the minister of Don's, Department of Conspiracies was so giddy he broadcast the press conference live. Before it began he told his audience, "It will be historic and the Clintons will be devastated." He went further by claiming he was so excited he was worried his heart wouldn't be able to stand it.

It turned out the entire show was, as the Daily Dot described, an extended WikiLeaks infomercial. In fact Assange chided the faithful who were watching by saying if his organization had a major announcement they wouldn't do it at 3am. He did, however, offer viewers 40% off on various books written by himself and others who run the questionable enterprise.

Of course this doesn't mean Assange won't release some sort of email, or document down the line that will make the hot to trot Clinton haters happy. But, he did guarantee himself a much smaller and more skeptical audience when he does.

Next was the announcement the Trump campaign is forming a fact checking group called, 'The Big League Truth Team." In order to counter groups like, PolitiFact and FactCheck.org--you know, the non partisan outfits who expose El Don's never ending torrent of lies--the Trump brain trust has begun to recruit grass root supporters as, "fact checkers."

Well, sort of.

The Big League Truth Team site offers these instructions, "Thank you for joining the team. We have serious work to do. Before, during, and after each debate we will send you messages we need for you to spread online. Use Twitter, Facebook, email, and any other tool you have to spread what we send you online. Sometimes we'll text you and sometimes we'll email you. Be ready! We can't fight both the media and Hillary without your help. We're counting on you. That's all for now. Remember the debate schedule. Plan ahead. Be ready."

Yes, that's right. The Trump campaign is going to fact check the Trump himself. They just need a social media network to get their odious version of the truth out there.

Finally, last night, we had Tim Kaine. His debate delivery immediately begged the question, was the man on speed? Let's face it, when it comes to interrupting people he made Donald Trump look like a rank amateur.

At least when he did talk over, not just Mike Pence, but the moderator, he was telling the truth--something Trump has yet to do. Most of  Kaine's rat-a-tat-tat attacks cited Trump's wildest bullshit word for word. It was stuff the big orange guy has said time and time again on camera and therefore, in every sense of the word, is undeniable.

That is unless you're Governor Pence. He denied it all by calmly, yea, serenely, shaking his head as each verifiable, on tape, quote came spilling forth. It was if he had gone to some safe room in his mind where every repugnant and foul thing his running mate has ever spewed simply never happened.

It was either the greatest display of transcendental meditation ever witnessed, or the most despicable sell out to evil a self described Christian has publicly committed.

In the end, it was probably both.

Whatever the case, the next stop for this magical mystery tour is St. Louis on Sunday evening.

Hey, be there, or be square.



10-5-16