Friday, May 11, 2012

Shoeless in Oslo, Warning Shots in Florida, Bristol Outraged, and Mitt Romney, Preppy Gangsta

It is not entirely clear how we got to this state. Sometimes things just start to slip away slowly and in the blink of an eye we find ourselves knee deep in the muck of brutal nonsense.

The Friday dispatches have bordered on the Dadaesque. It has been a convoluted news cycle at best.

Over in Norway our pal Anders Breivik is still on trial. Earlier he was upset because the judges wouldn't allow him to question witnesses and victims as they described his deadly rampage. Finally the brother of one of the people he murdered snapped, screamed. "Go to hell, go to hell, you killed my brother," then chucked a shoe at Breivik. He missed but fortunately did manage to nail a co defense attorney named Vibeke Hein Baera. It is reported by MSNBC that while some of the gallery looked on shocked and uncomfortable, others applauded. There was no comment from the defendant who was hustled out of the court room. There is also no word as to whether spectators will be forced to sit barefoot during the remainder of the proceedings.

In Florida a woman named Marissa Alexander got twenty years for firing a warning shot near a man she had accused of physically abusing her. Her defense was that same stand your ground law that George Zimmerman is citing. The judge wasn't buying it. Apparently Ms. Alexander had gone into the garage to fetch the weapon, then returned to the room where the man and his two sons were. The judge decided that her act of returning to the same room proved she did not fear for her life. Ms. Alexander says the only reason she went back into the house was because the garage door was jammed shut. Sticky things these laws involving deadly force. Just ask Oklahoma City pharmacist James Ersland. He shot a would be robber, but then made the mistake of going back behind the counter, getting another gun so he could finish the unarmed kid off. He got life.

While Joe Biden was apologizing to Barak Obama for starting this whole same sex marriage mess, Bristol Palin was blogging about it. She condemned the president for his decision to support it and for consulting his children about their thoughts on gays. Palin, who proved she wasn't a homosexual by humping her boy friend while still a teenager, should be worrying about the back child support he owes her. It is reported that Levi Johnston is twenty-two months behind in payments and owes Ms. Palin $39,000.

Finally the Washington Post has run a story detailing an incident where Uncle Mitt went all Crips at the elite Cranbrook school in Bloomfield, Michigan when he was a student. Citing five different witnesses, a couple of whom participated in the affair, Mitt was the leader of a gang who held down another student and forcibly cut his hair. Apparently the Mittster was incensed by the kid's long, bleached blond hair, telling pal Matthew Friedmann, "He can't look like that. That's wrong. Just look at him." Various witnesses say the attack was "vicious" and that the student, John Lauber, was "easy pickin's." He was-- you knew it was coming-- perceived as being gay. Mitt has gone on Fox News saying he doesn't remember the incident, but did apologize for some "pranks" that "went too far." The apology is a bit late for Lauber. He died in 2004. Cranbrook, which has a tradition of strict discipline, let young Mr. Romney slide on this one. According to Friedmann, "they didn't do anything to him." At a later date, however, the school did expel John Lauber for smoking a cigarette.

There you have it. Just another day in the asylum. As Kurt Vonnegut used to say, "and so it goes."



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