Friday, May 10, 2013

It's Never Too Early, Dennis is None To Happy, and Zombie Industries Takes a Hit

We are, at this moment, just a few days closer than three and one half years before the next presidential election.Yet, this past week or so has seemed like a pre election October.

White hot anger, unrepentant hatred, and abject fear have all mingled into one great maelstrom that is now pouring out across every media outlet in the land. The collective conservative nightmare has a name and it is Hillary Rodham Clinton. The tragedy in Benghazi is the excuse, but make no mistake. The hearings, the faux outrage, every bit of it, is nothing more than a pre-emptive strike on her 2016 run at the white house. NBC News reports that GOP groups such as America Rising, Citizens United, The Drudge Report, and master poll analyst Karl Rove's American Crossroads are all hot to trot with sharp questions, harrowing accusations, and outright bullshit. You don't get hit with this sort of political vindictive from werewolves such as these when you are simply a retired secretary of state. No, if they considered her out of the mix they'd be all over Barak Obama and Joe Biden instead. This is the sort of stuff they reserve for current threats, not past enemies.

Think of it. Conservatives had to put up with Wild Bill for eight years, then after having to steal an election from Al Gore they had their brutal way with us for the next eight. They screwed the pooch so badly during that time, so mis-managed everything from wars to the economy that after Bush was gone they got their heads handed to them not once, but twice by a first term senator from Illinois. That would be sixteen revolutions around the sun out of the last twenty-four that they've been on the outside. Now here comes Hillary and at this moment the only guy they have who appears to be able to compete with her on a national level is Chris Christie and he is utterly unacceptable to the maniac grass roots hoi polloi. So they are now doing what they do best. Attack, attack, and attack again. Screw reason and to hell with the timing. They are going to drag the Benghazi thing out and milk it for as long as they can because eight more years of the Clinton family living on Pennsylvania Avenue is absolutely unacceptable.

Yes, it doesn't take much to see a sweat soaked Bill O'Reilly wasting away on a dirty mattress whispering, "The horror, the horror."

Meanwhile, our chief diplomatic envoy to North Korea, Dennis Rodman tweeted, his pal Kim Jong-un on May 7th. The text of the tweet was, "I'm calling on the supreme leader of North Korea, or as I call him, Kim, to do me a solid and cut Kenneth Bae loose." Bae is the Korean-American who just got hit with 15 years of hard labor. He was accused and convicted of trying to single handily overthrow the government of the Democratic People's Republic. It is unclear if Kim will know what a "solid" is, or if he will understand what the real definition of "cutting Kenneth Bae loose" means. What ever the case, our man in Pyongyang is none to happy with the American president. In a recent interview he told a reporter, "Obama can't do shit. I don't know why he won't go talk to him."

Actually Rodman's naivety, on the surface anyway, is a bit refreshing. In his own weird way he is simply saying that if everyone would just talk to each other we can solve all of our problems. You bet, as the song says, "all we are saying is give peace a chance." However, as a man with three ex-wives who has faced charges of domestic abuse, brother Rodman should realize that just talking doesn't work much of the time.

Finally, MSN is reporting that those happy go lucky wits at Zombie Industries caught some serious heat from individual women, at least one organized women's group, and practically everyone else with a brain over their exploding, fake blood engorged target, known as "Ex Girl Friend." According to the report, CEO of ZI, Roger Davis was "disappointed that feelings were hurt." He was also quoted by the Huffington Post as saying he was sorry if anyone was offended. He told the media that the rubbery dummy target would stay on sale until Monday, then it would be pulled off the market. He added that it would be quickly replaced by a look alike female target which would have green skin, instead of pink, highlighting her zombiness. In his words, "What we made was not intended to be a real woman." No, old sport, just the fantasy of every misogynistic, erectile dysfunctional, fool with a gun who is trying to work himself up into doing the real thing.

Be of cheer though gun aficionados. Zombie Industries is still marketing their "Rocky" model target which bears a distinct resemblance to Barack Obama. So for all you tea party quacks out there, you can still blow the head off a likeness of the president of the United States of America for only $89.95, plus shipping and handling.

Yes, it has been a long week and I didn't even touch on the beast in Cleveland who kidnapped, tortured and raped three women for nearly a decade. Sometimes the overload is just too much, even for me.

Luckily the weekend is here and the refrigerator is full of beer and red meat.

It is time for a break and a cigar.

Be well and prosper.

Mr. Scott you have the helm..


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