Monday, November 9, 2015

Tis The Season to be Crazy: The Apostates at Starbucks and the People Who Hate Them

It just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Yeah--it isn't even Thanksgiving yet, but apparently the season to be crazy has arrived early.

A Washington Post article on the internet today reports that Mr. Joshua Feuerstein has declared war on Starbucks, which is the over priced, over rated and over expanded, coffee house chain.

Brother Feuerstein, who is a self proclaimed Arizona evangelist and "social media personality," jumped on Facebook raging not about the prices, or quality of product, but the latest seasonal design of Starbucks' disposable coffee cups. In a video on Facebook he claims, "Starbucks removed Christmas from their cups because they hate Jesus."

He added, "Do you realize that Starbucks wanted to take Christ and Christmas off their brand new cups? That's why they're just plain red."

It didn't take long for a right wing hack at Breitbart to jump on this bizarre bandwagon. Raheem Kassam wrote, what the Post called, a detailed history of Starbucks Christmas season cups in order to prove their fealty to political correctness and, what Feuerstein calls, "a symbol of the larger war against Christianity."

Kassam's piece isn't a lengthy treatise. It begins with the 2009 cup. He describes it as bearing artwork which, "resembles," the fronds of a Christmas tree, stars, and baubles. Then he traces a sinister history of, in his words, "things going south, or east maybe." Yes, the designs degenerated into snowflakes, snowmen, fewer stars and baubles, and finally a happy dog playing in the snow.

That's right, according to these two goofs, this years plain red cup with the green Starbucks' logo is the evil conclusion of a campaign to degrade Christmas. This despite the fact, according to the appalled Kassam's exhaustive research of throwaway cups, they've always been generic in nature and have never once mentioned, Jesus Christ, or displayed any sort of specific Christmas greeting.

Kassam wrote, "Frankly, the only thing that can redeem them from this white washing of Christmas is to print bible verses on their cups next year."

Things spun so out of control, even Fox News, God bless 'em, kicked in a report mourning the de-Christifcation of Christmas, blaming not only Starbucks, but some mall in upstate New York.

Meanwhile, Joshua Feuerstein marched into a Starbucks wearing a Jesus tee-shirt, in order to, "just offend." He also wore a gun because Starbucks has asked patrons not to pack weapons while in their stores, although they haven't banned them. Arizona, being an open carry state, allows such crazed nonsense.  He did it, because according to, Reverend Feuerstein the chain not only hates Jesus, but  the second amendment. That's right dude, go all in: God and Guns in the name of the Prince of Peace and patriotism.

After he placed an order, he told the person at the counter his name was Merry Christmas, which he, or she promptly wrote on the cup. After he was served his latte, with the words Merry Christmas written across it, he bragged, "Guess what Starbucks. I  just tricked you into putting Merry Christmas on your cup."

Guess what you stupid son of a bitch. You also contributed to that Starbucks' bottom line by paying for their product. In short, you just helped them buy more solid red cups.

The constitution of the United States guarantees freedom of religion, just as it prohibits the establishment of a state sponsored religion. There isn't a single phrase in the document which says a corporation must recognize a religious entity, or holiday at either it's outlets, or on its packaging.

If evangelical Christians have stooped to this level of banality--are so enraged when our Lord and Savior's words, imagined visage, or birthdate aren't recognized on some re-enforced paper cup which will be thrown into the nearest trash can as soon as its contents have been drained--they should probably re-think their priorities.

They won't though. A false paranoia has augmented their faith. They revel in it. And in the end, each and every one of them have gleefully become self styled martyrs and they're determined to tell the rest of us over and over again how persecuted they are.

It's all bullshit. It also might be the end of the religion I have known and loved since my early childhood.

Can I get an amen?

sic vita est


1 comment:

  1. Yes, you get an amen. It is not the responsibility of the secular world to keep Christ in Christmas. It is the responsibility of Christians to keep Christ in Christmas.