Monday, May 18, 2015

Bobby Jindal is on Acid, Rick Perry has Dementia, and the Imperial Lindsey Graham is in the Race

The republican mob running for president grows larger every day. According to NBC News, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has formed a committee to explore his odds of winning the party's nomination. Given recent poll numbers it is best to file Mr. Jindal's ambitious fantasy under the heading, Those Candidates Currently On Hallucinogens.

In addition a serious case of dementia has gripped former Texas Governor Rick Perry. He is scheduled to declare his candidacy on June 4th. Hey, let's face it, when everyone knows you won't even be able to win your own state's primary next year, you are what might be described as reality challenged.
NBC also reports, Senator Lindsey Graham will formally announce he is in the race on June 1. The South Carolina republican was quoted as saying, "I'm running because of what you see on television. I'm running because the world is falling apart." He also assured the interviewer he, "...can make Washington work." 
Graham, along with his pal, John McCain, has never seen a war worth avoiding. Given that, it 's not surprising, he's a huge fan of the military. In March, during a stop in New Hampshire, he touched on just how he'd make Washington work, at least when it comes to national defense.
The senator told a crowd, "And here is the first thing I would do if I were president of the United States. I wouldn't let congress leave until we fix this. I would literally use the military to keep them if I had to. We're not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We are not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts."
That's right, Lindsey Graham really did say he would bring in the military and force congress, presumably at gun point, to do exactly what he wants them to. In other countries we call this a coup d'etat
One of the senator's spokespersons quickly realized someone out there might accuse his or her boss of actually wanting to be that imperial president we've all been hearing about the last few years. In short order a statement was issued to Bloomberg saying Graham's remarks about literally using the military were, "...not to be taken literally."
Ah yes, it appears Senator Graham will fit right in with all the other crass buggers running for the GOP nomination. He and the rest of them were in Iowa over the past weekend blaming Hillary Clinton for everything up to and including George Armstrong Custer's disastrous defeat at the Little Big Horn.
On Thursday this grotesque rolling tour of losers and heartless grifters will be in Oklahoma City for the Republican Southern Leadership Conferences. 
You bet, Jeb Bush, Carly Fiorina, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, Scott Walker, along with Jindal, and Perry will be on a downtown OKC stage one after the other this weekend. Ted Cruz will also be in town, but to hear him speak at the semi private and grandly named, "Energizing America Gala," you'll have to pay extra. The added cost to get that mega shot of right wing hysteria is an incredibly low $100 per person. However, according to the event's site, you can score an even better value at $175 if you bring along a spouse, or, if preferred, a highly discreet escort found in the local yellow pages.
Mike Huckabee and Rand Paul passed on the opportunity to appear for reasons which remain unknown. Donald Trump won't be here either, although in truth his absence might have more to do with him simply not knowing where Oklahoma City is, rather than a reluctance to speak.
Here is a hint, sir. We're not in Japan, you were thinking of Yokohama.
So the field, rather like the universe, is still expanding, although it looks as if the GOP is confusing quantity with quality. Given this bunch is it any wonder Mitt Romney toyed with the idea of running again?

If there are any further questions I'll be in the bar. As always the first round is on me.


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