Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Bob Coy and Vance McAllister Have Moral Failures and Eight Minutes in Moore is Enough for Westboro Baptist

Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Jesus of Nazareth, professional trouble maker, accused drunkard, Savior, and Son of God Almighty

Indeed it is. Just ask Bob Coy and Vance McAllister.

Down in Florida, Coy has been the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel in Ft. Lauderdale since it was founded in 1986. The name sounds humble, but make no mistake, Calvary Chapel is big business. It has 20,000 members, which makes it the second largest church in Florida and 14th largest in the United States. It's assets are listed at $135 million and while that isn't Joel Osteen territory it is still a sizable chunk of cash.

Unfortunately for pastor Coy the high, fast, and clean ride ended on April 6th when he was either canned outright, or forced to quit. His church released a statement which said he, "resigned, "...after confessing to a moral failing in his life which disqualifies him from continuing his leadership role at the church..."

Coy's media arm, named "Active Word" which distributed his sermons to radio, TV, and internet outlets has been suspended. This means there are now some serious holes in programming schedules for places like Trinity Broadcasting Network where Coy was a regular.

There weren't any salacious details released by the church, but a blogger named, Michael Newnham is claiming Coy fessed up to at least two extra marital affairs last year alone and to a serious taste for porn. It is unclear how Newnham got his information and the church refused to comment on his report. The imagination does tend to run a tad wild though since Calvary Chapel's board room wasn't in the mood for a dramatic televised mea culpa, followed by an opportunity for penance and redemption.

Meanwhile, in Louisiana republican congressman, Vance McAllister issued this statement, "I am asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me."

His exercise in self flagellation came after the West Monroe Citizen, a local paper, posted a thirty second kiss the representative planted on the lips of a woman who is not his wife. The publication said the low grade video came from an anonymous source and the moment of secret amore happened prior to last Christmas. That would be not long after McAllister won his seat during a special election.

So why all the hubbub? I mean, let's face it, Ted Kennedy would have bought the media a round of drinks and shrugged off an indiscretion like this as just another Tuesday night.

Well, unfortunately for McAllister, nearly every campaign ad he ran featured him bragging about his Christian family values. He even dragged those duck hunting born again types, Phil and Willie Robertson onto the TV screen so they could tell everyone what a fine upstanding, Southern Baptist guy he is.

Hey, if you're going to talk the talk, you'd better walk the walk. If we've learned anything lately it is there are no secrets in the 21st century. McAllister has been married for 16 years. He and his wife have five children. The dinner menu at their home tonight includes discomfort with a side of awkwardness, both served extremely raw.

Finally, on a slightly different subject, the wankers from Westboro Baptist Church showed up in Moore, OK on Sunday. They secured a permit to picket in front of Moore's Central Jr. High. It is currently providing classroom space for the students of Plaza Towers Elementary, one of the schools destroyed by last May's horrific tornado. Seven Plaza Towers students died in the storm when the building collapsed on them.

It was business as usual for the Westboro crowd. There looked to be eight to ten of them holding the usual signs which said stuff like, "God Hates Fags" and God Hates Oklahoma." They showed up to illustrate their belief the children died because the Lord is pissed off at America for tolerating gay people.

The permit allowed the sons and daughters of Fred Phelps to be there for 30 minutes. However, a crowd of hundreds across the street from them quickly grew tired of their bullshit. When the incensed citizens of Moore ignored police lines and began to move toward the "protesters" the Westboro clowns fled the scene in panic after only eight minutes.

All of which goes to show martyrdom is an acquired taste and not meant for everyone.

sic vita est


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