Friday, January 27, 2012

Newt to the Moon, Farmers in Space, Upper Georgia Uber Alles

It is a Friday and sometimes late in the week things get so terribly weird that when you look at the TV, or the computer screen you have to wonder if what you are seeing is real. After all back in the day there were some serious chemicals involved with the lifestyle. So honestly there is no telling when some sort of awful acid flash back, or pent up hallucination will be released from the dark recesses of the brain without warning. God only knows when the monks of the Black Canon will come calling, flickering torches in hand.

A few minutes ago as I began to watch part of a recent Rachel Maddow show on line I had one of those terrible dizzy moments. The same sort of feeling the James Stewart character had in the movie "Vertigo" when Hitchcock pulled the camera back as fast as he zoomed in with the lens.  She had shown up for her MSNBC show in a NASA space suit and was talking about how Newt Gingrich wanted to be president of the moon. I checked my hands to see if they had turned into butterflies, but they were fine.

Then came the film clip. Newt was at the podium in front of his cheering savants. His plan (honestly I swear this was real) is that by the end of his second term there will be a permanent American colony on the moon. He talked about legislation he proposed back when he was speaker that, once there were thirteen thousand Americans up there, they could petition for statehood. There was no mention of renaming the place during the speech. Maddow came up with North North Dakota, but I see something along the lines of Upper Georgia.

She went on to point out that Gingrich has in the past proposed setting up vast mirrors on the lunar surface to create ambient light in certain dicey urban areas to lower the crime rate. He has also envisioned out of work farmers being shipped into space to work in orbiting factories.

Now we know why mainstream republicans don't want this goof nominated. They think he is quite nearly certifiable. The probability of him showing up for the initial debate with Obama dressed as Napoleon is far too great for them.

The arch liberal Tom DeLay has referred to Mr. Gingrich as "erratic." The Drudge Report, the on line bible of republicans everywhere, is running one article after another highly critical of the former speaker. Even Bob Dole was dragged out of the attic the other day and dusted off. His take on the candidate was that, "hardly anyone who served with him in congress has endorsed him." He also allowed that when he ran his own campaign for president Newt used to show up at the headquarters carrying an empty bucket. There was never any explanation for this. Dole doesn't believe Gingrich himself knew why he was carrying it around.

The latest Wall St. Journal/NBC nation wide poll shows that among republicans Gingrich is pulling away from Romney. However, in same poll Romney, when pitted against Obama, trails by only three points. Mr. Gingrich on the other hand gets blasted by the president in a head to head contest. In other words no one outside of the conservative wing wants anything to do with the guy.

It is unclear who would have the edge in Upper Georgia, but that is a question for later.

Florida is only a few days away. The Romney campaign is suddenly reeling. What we are witnessing maybe the greatest breakdown of common sense since people rioted over Tickle Me Elmo dolls.

At least the flash backs and hallucinations go away.

To the chagrin of the lucid, Newt Gingrich won't.


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