Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Joe Exotic Rides Off Into the Sunset

Well, his name isn't really Joe Exotic. It isn't Joe Maldonado either. Nor is it Joe Maldonado-Passage, or, even, The Tiger King, although at various times he has gone by all of these. He claims he was born, Joseph Schreibvogel, but given his history of lying--one so extensive he makes used car salesmen, and TV evangelists seem like paragons of truth--no one can actually say for sure.

According to The Oklahoman's, Nolan Clay he's also done a lot of things in his half century plus on this blue ball. Clay writes Exotic says he has been a nursing home aide and a police chief, although he has never been specific about when and where. We do know he ran as an independent write in candidate for President in 2016. That gig earned him a spot on John Oliver's HBO satirical series, "Last Week Tonight."

His less than 15 minutes of fame is probably what prompted him to run for Governor of Oklahoma last year as a Libertarian. In the June party primary Mr. Exotic came in third, tallying 664 votes. It might not sound like many, but because Libertarians here in the Sooner state have the political viability of pond toads the total garnered him nearly 19% of the votes cast in a three man race.

But, let us not digress. Joe Exotic's day job from 1999 to 2017 was running a private zoo he founded in Wynnewood, OK. He bred lions, tigers, and hybrids of the two. For an extra charge he'd allow visitors to pet their cubs. He also trafficked the cubs and grown animals in ways which are completely illegal and falsified the documents relating to those sales.

During that time frame he lost a civil suit to a non-profit animal sanctuary in Florida headed up by a woman named Carole Baskin. As a result of the court action he ended up owing her around a million bucks, which, of course, he really didn't want to pay.

He sold the zoo to Jeff Lowe in 2016, but Lowe left him in charge of the day to day operations. Lowe now claims, that among other things, like killing five tigers with a shotgun for no particular reason, Exotic embezzled almost $90,000 from the zoo to pay for--you guessed it--campaign expenses, plus some personal stuff.

Then, as if they weren't already that way, things turned darkly stupid. As he was savagely lashing out on social media at Ms. Baskin he made a deal with park worker, Allen Glover. He paid Glover $3,000 in cash to whack her. He sent Glover to Dallas in order to get a fake ID and gave him a cell phone with Baskin's photo on it.

Exotic trusted Glover with the job because his supposed hit man was a convicted felon. That was his first mistake. Among the people in this world you shouldn't trust, ex-cons are pretty darn high on the list. According to Glover, he took the money then blew it all partying on some Florida beach without ever looking for Baskin.

Our man Joe proved himself to be persistent though. He approached another would be killer and offered him five grand up front and another five after he read, or heard about Baskin's death through the news. That was his second mistake.

The guy he made the offer to was a FBI undercover agent and he was taping everything, including the moment Joe told him, "Just like follow her into a mall parking lot and just cap her and drive off."

Oops.

Yes, many things can be said about Joe Exotic, but no one will ever accuse him of being the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

At a federal trial over the last few days Exotic contended that, while even though he did make all sorts of vile and threatening statements over social media aimed at Ms. Baskin, he actually didn't want her dead. He also claimed he had been, "set up," by a vindictive Lowe. And finally, he said, it was all just a joke.

Yesterday the jury didn't buy any of that bull shit. It took them less than four hours to convict him of 19 different charges. Clay reports the two murder for hire counts alone could get him 20 years and a $500,000 fine.

Hey, these things are liable to occur when you mix business with politics while at the same time attempting to dodge an unfavorable court decision.

It's just too bad they don't happen often enough.


4-3-19

 

   

   

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