That didn't take long.
Indeed, by the end of a scant four days my NCAA men's basketball tournament brackets were in utter ruins. Hell, Rome looked better after the Visigoths raged through the Forum in 410 AD. In fact, given the results of the first two rounds, I might as well have bet the money I put down on Michigan State, Kentucky, VCU, Baylor, and West Virginia on Rick Perry's presidential campaign. At least that coyote shooting son of a bitch lasted more than one weekend.
The inevitable result of such a massacre is a rueful retreat back into presidential politics and other high crimes and misdemeanors.
Here is where we stand at the moment when it comes to the gaudy circus known as The Campaign. On the democratic side, Hillary Clinton has 1,630 delegates locked up, while Bernie Sanders is holding onto 870. It takes 2,383 to win.
Two things are increasingly clear. First, Secretary Clinton will be the nominee. Second, if Bernie Sanders' army of bright eyed Utopians throw a snit when he does lose--then, because they didn't get their way, decide to stay at home in November--the White House could well fall into the hands of Donald J. Trump, a raving fascist.
Right now Trump is sitting on 678 republican delegates. He is also complaining it's unfair to make him corral the 1,237 needed to win. In other words, the GOP national leadership should change its rules just for Donald J. Trump and allow Him to become the nominee, even if a majority of republicans loathe him. And, oh, if the party hierarchy doesn't cave into his latest gripe, or he ends up losing the nomination during a brokered convention there will be riots in the streets.
Herr Hitler would have been proud.
Of course the only viable alternative to Donald Trump right now is the most hated man in the Senate, Ted Cruz. He holds 423 delegates. That's right, in the end, republicans could be faced with a cure which might be just as bad, even though more glib, as the disease they're so frantically fighting against.
Which brings us to the defunct campaign of Marco Rubio. In theory he has 164 pledged delegates, but The Hill points out 80 plus of those could return to play. A lot of it depends on state party regulations which vary wildly, however because of a mishmash of rules and some secretive local hoodoo--voodoo those 80 some odd delegates could be released either by the states, or Rubio himself.
If, or when either happens they can vote for whoever they want during the critical first ballot. Odds are feelers are being extended to those people by Ted Cruz's staff as these words are typed. Let's face it, desperate situations call for desperate measures. God only knows how many under secretary jobs and ambassadorships to exotic locales Cruz will be happily promising to available rubes in order to secure their votes. Yes, when it comes to crunch time, fuck all that small government shit.
Things have turned so weird there are actually elements of the conservative movement who are talking about drafting a viable third party candidate in response to a Trump nomination. Their hallucinations are warped enough that they've publicly floated the name of the aforementioned coyote shooting son of a bitch, Rick Perry as a possible candidate.
You know--the same guy, who was so incredibly unpopular with the public his candidacy, while lasting more than a single weekend, didn't even make it to Iowa.
Not even Perry was buying into the craziness. He was quick to say he would refuse any sort of offer, then urged everyone to back the Canadian guy.
So there we have it. Clinton appears to be in command, but Bernie could make up ground out west over the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile, Trump's supporters continue to sucker punch and stomp people on a daily basis at his rallies and the candidate is darkly hinting at more wide spread violence. It has gotten so ugly on the republican side none of us should be surprised if GOP chairman, Reince Priebus wakes up in bed one morning next to the severed head of his favorite horse.
And with that lovely thought, ladies and gentlemen, the bar is open. My bookie is buying. Trust me, he can afford it.