Turkey Lurkey: How do you know the sky is falling?
Chicken Little: I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears, and part of it fell on my head.
Turkey Lurkey: Oh dear! I always suspected the sky would fall someday. I'd better run with you.
From, "The Story of Chicken Little."
Yes, as republican presidential candidates scream about the nuclear deal with Iran--mainly because Barack Obama and his Secretary of State, John Kerry came up with it--there is a clear and present danger much closer to home.
Just ask them in Bastrop, TX and certain locales in Utah. That's right, sometime after midnight tonight the United States Army will begin conducting a training exercise known as Jade Helm 15. According to many a true patriot the two month operation is nothing more than a terrible ruse perpetrated by the black foreigner in the white house. They contend his real purpose is to round up tea party members, their guns, their bibles, and their wives for purposes which can only be described as both unholy and depraved.
How serious is the situation? So serious that in April, Governor, Greg Abbott ordered the Texas National Guard to keep an eye on those shifty Special Forces troops who will be involved. According to PolitiFact.com he wrote a letter to the commanding officer of the guard saying, "During the training operation it is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights, and civil liberties will not be infringed."
Even legendary martial arts expert and alleged actor Chuck Norris is on alert. He told World Net Daily, "The U.S. government says it's just a training exercise. But I'm not sure the term 'just' has any reference to reality when the government uses it."
Why anyone in Texas would be worried about a few Green Berets when they have a neighbor like Chuck Norris is a bit unclear. In the movie "Delta Force" his unit rescued hijacked airline passengers held in the wilds of Beirut. The year before, in the flick, "Invasion USA" Norris almost single-handedly took out a horde of terrorist scum who had stormed ashore somewhere in Florida in order to wreck havoc on, The American Way.
But, as they might say in Bastrop--a town which gets its name from a fugitive embezzler who fraudulently posed as royalty--those were just fantasies. Barack Obama and His Army are real.
Well there are other fantasies too. The first one is that United Nations troops will be assisting in the exercise/occupation. The proof? Those Illuminati controlled U.N. bastards named the Alamo as a world heritage site the other day, giving them an excuse to move into the state. That isn't the only horror. There has also been conjecture Islamic State personnel, thanks to some torturous connection, will be rolling down county roads in Mad Max style caravans, cofiscating guns and heads. In addition there is talk that these deadly cohorts, along with steely eyed American troopers, will be using abandoned Wal-Marts either as detention centers for those who might resist, or disagree with The New World Order, or as operational supply bases. Finally there are rumors of a massive spider work of tunnels running every which direction, although the reasons for them remain a tad fuzzy.
In March the eminent investigative journalist, Alex Jones wrote Jade Helm was, "...an exercise of the new field in geo spatial intelligence using human domain analytics to map the politics and thoughts of any nation, state, city, right down to the individual." If that's the case one can reasonably wonder why the military doesn't save a few bucks by simply picking up a copy of the latest Gallup Poll.
PolitiFact notes former Texas Lt. Governor, David Dewhurst, Congressman Louie Gohmert, and Senator Ted Cruz all issued statements which basically said everyone who believes in the conspiracy bullshit is wrong. However, given that the African/Communist/Muslim SOB in the White House is an Ayatollah wannabe, they sympathize and feel the insanity is completely understandable. Yes, there are only a select few who know how sow paranoia one moment, then dismiss it, without appearing hypocritical, or condescending, the next.
According to the Army the two month exercise will involve 1,200 troops spread out over seven states. That would be about 300 to 500 less than Santa Anna had scaling the walls of the aforementioned Alamo. A spokesman told the good citizens of Bastrop they could expect 60 of them in their area along with two Humvees and one helicopter. Nevertheless, the republican county chair has assured the faithful there will be citizens patrolling the streets nightly just to make sure there isn't any funny business.
Indeed, sleep well east Texas, sleep well. The tea party is on the job and your nation's army and its colors, the star spangled banner, shall not pass undetected, or unopposed.
Is it any wonder the bar is now open? I didn't think so.
sic vita est