Monday, June 9, 2014

A Weekend to Remember: Cruz Gets an Ego Massage and the Revolution Ends Quickly

It was quite a weekend for the anti-government crowd, both in Texas and Nevada.

South of the Red River, the Texas state republican party held their convention in Ft. Worth. It pretty much turned into a contorted ode to Ted Cruz as the hard right rammed through platform language which sounds like it could have been written by a coven of the Ku Klux Klan.

State Senator Dan Patrick addressed the delegates about immigration reform. He parroted the oft heard line we shouldn't reform the immigration system until our southern border is, "secure." He didn't go into any details on how to secure it, but given the tone of his speech, one can imagine it involves armored divisions and free fire zones.

He also promised the raucous gathering, "The idea we're not going to be able to attract Hispanic voters over immigration is wrong." It is uncertain what drug the Senator ingested prior to making that statement, but it must have been something heavy, since he was clearly delusional. Despite the dementia, he was preaching to the choir. One delegate was holding a sign which read, "No, not even a hint of amnesty," while another speaker claimed a softer immigration policy, "is like negotiating with terrorists."

You bet, words like those will certainly appeal to the 70% of Hispanic voters who cast ballots for Barack H. Obama a couple of years ago. Patrick is currently running for Lt. Governor. His democratic opponent is a Latina state Senator named Leticia Van de Putte, who has called his rhetoric on immigration, "toxic." While I'm not an professional political analyst I think it is safe to say, Dan Patrick probably shouldn't count on carrying the Hispanic demographic just yet.

In another effort to expand the party's base the convention approved platform language which called for "reparative therapy and treatment for those patients seeking healing and wholeness from their homosexual lifestyle." Reparative therapy is such dangerous quackery both California and New Jersey have outlawed the practice on minors.

Through all the hubbub there was no doubt, Cruz was the super star. He delivered the keynote address while preening on stage, bathing in the chants of, "Run Ted run." In addition the dude from Alberta won a presidential straw poll with 43% of the votes. His nearest competitor was conservative pundit and author, Ben Carson who pulled in 12.2%. The governor of Texas, Rick Perry, who has some delusions of his own, came in 4th.The Washington Post dubbed the Texas republican party as, the party of Cruz. It would seem the publicaton has a point.

Meanwhile, on Sunday, Jerad and Amanda Miller took a stroll out of their Las Vegas home. They were armed and pushing a shopping cart filled with guns and ammo. Since this is America a neighbor wasn't particularly concerned with the sight, even though Jerad told her, "we gotta do, what we gotta do," and Amanda hugged her while saying, "I'm so very sorry."

The neighbor, Kelly Fielder told the media, Jerad Miller often talked about his hatred of the government and his desire to over throw it and Barack Obama. Even more darkly, he talked about killing police officers. Ms. Fielder said in retrospect she wished she had called the authorities as soon as she saw them leave yesterday.

Yeah, that might have been a good idea. Later in the day the Millers walked into a Cici's Pizza and announced, "This is the start of a revolution," because--you know--pizza joints are where all successful revolutions begin.That is when a tragedy unfolded. Two Las Vegas police officers, Alyn Beck and Igor Soldo were there eating lunch. Both were killed when the Millers opened fire.

The couple stole Beck and Soldo's weapons and ammunition. Then they covered their bodies with a Gadsden flag--that would be the yellow one with a coiled snake and the words, "Don't Tread on Me." Most of the time you see them flying at tea party rallies and NRA gatherings.

The Millers then walked to a Wal-Mart, murdered another person and became engaged in a gun fight with police. The gruesome episode ended when they both saved everyone a lot of time and expense by killing themselves.

Yes, so there we have it--a weekend to remember. Ted Cruz got his ever expanding ego massaged as he told an adoring mob of Texans Washington D.C. isn't part of America and the revolution in Nevada ended quickly, but, as always, not without casualties. The rest of us simply shook our heads and ordered another round.

sic vita est


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