Conservatives never let me down. When it comes to tragedies and madness they always know how to avoid the real issue by punching some racist hot button in order to get the Vulgas roiled up into a frothing rage.
Last Friday a 23 year old man named John Zawahri went off the deep end and shot up parts of Santa Monica, California, including Santa Monica College, killing five in the process.
As soon as his identity was made public legions of right wing xenophobes went ape shit. Twitter was all aflutter about his, "Muslim sounding name." Yes, instead of pondering questions like, how did this demented twit get all the guns and ammunition and why do we keep letting stores sell this stuff, crowds began howling about terrorism and the violence inherent in Islam. No one seemed to wonder about what motive a jihadist would have to kill his father and older brother before running amok on the streets, but hey, such details do nothing but muddy, The Big Picture. We must, after all, keep our our eye on the ball here.
Even when it turned out Zawahri wasn't Muslim, but in fact a Christian the shrill hysteria didn't abate. Debbie Schlussel, who is a radio talk show host (what a surprise), sometime columnist and blogger claimed it didn't matter. She labeled the entire Arab culture as brutishly violent and uncivilized when compared to its American counterpart. She didn't stop there. She also accused the Greek and Syrian Orthodox Churches of being in league with Hezbollah and a whole lot of other nefarious organizations and claimed there was no difference between Lebanese Muslims and Christians when it came to Arab terrorism.
Indeed, the problem isn't that this deadly goof, or someone else, was able to legally buy enough weapons and ammunition to arm the entire Poteau, Oklahoma police department. No, the problem is there are too many Arabs in the country and they are all a bunch of blood thirsty terrorists.
Just to prove how peaceful and civilized America is, Slate and @GunDeaths reports that as of today, at least 4,886 U.S citizens have been shot to death since the Newtown, CT murderous rampage. It was committed by Adam Lanza, who at last glance, was not of Middle Eastern descent. Neither was James Holmes, Seung-Hui Cho, Dylan Klebold, or Eric Harris. Well, perhaps people like Schlussel will get to the bottom of that particular mystery and prove they were all thinking about becoming Arabs when they opened fire.
Meanwhile, NBC's Matthew DeLuca reports that an unidentified U.S. ambassador to an unidentified country, is defending himself against allegations that he sought sexual favors from prostitutes and children. DeLuca's report quotes a former State Department investigator who claims that "top State Department officials" issued orders to "cease the investigation." She also claims the final report that was issued in March was, "watered down."
Republican Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Ed Royce of California was also quoted. He said, "I am appalled not only at the reported misconduct itself, but at the reported interference in the investigation of the misconduct." Of course his staff is looking into it all as I type.
The unnamed ambassador has vehemently denied all the charges. In fact, at this point, he has not been formally accused of anything and he certainly hasn't been convicted of any crimes.
So what is this whole fuss really about?
You guessed it, these alleged acts of grotesque perversion happened while Hillary Rodham Clinton was Secretary of State.
You may now consider the 2016 presidential election to be in full swing.
God help us all.