Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Ted Nugent, Political and Constitutional Scholar

According to the eminent political scientist and jurist, Ted Nugent, the president of the United States, the vice president and Hillary Clinton are criminals. He was speaking at the NRA national convention in St. Louis  which of course means he was doing nothing more than preaching to the choir. National Rifle Association conventioneers don't really represent the diverse nature of the American republic. Although if you're a white guy who is scared that if the government takes away your gun you won't be able to have sex with your wife you will generally fit in.

Mr. Nugent didn't specify which crimes the president has committed. In fact he failed to cite any charges at all. It could well be he considers Obama's most serious offense to be that one about not believing exactly what Ted Nugent does. I've run into this before. You are either with them or you are a traitor. Anyone who isn't a conservative can't be a patriot or a true American.

It is all hysterical horse shit of course, much of it based on race as much as politics, although none of them will ever admit that in public. As the white power structure shrinks and their grip on control continues to slip the shriller and more hateful they become. The Christian Science Monitor is reporting that some clown on Facebook posted a poll the other day. The question? Should Obama be killed?. Your choices of answers were, yes, maybe, if he cuts my health care (my personal favorite, since the president is for universal health care) and finally no. Over seven hundred people responded before the wonks at Facebook took the poll down. The results were not made available. The "pollster" apparently has been identified, but his or her name has not been released to the public.

Earlier this month a census worker in Kentucky was found hanging from a tree, the word, "Fed" written across his chest. I mention this just because some of these psychotic beasts take this sort of stuff to heart and act on their dark urges. By all reports the militia movement is growing once more as paranoia sets in and the possibility of four more years of Barak Obama grows. At some point one or more of them will commit some sort of brutal act. The nation will then recoil from them just as it did after Tim McVeigh and Terry Nichols murdered a bunch of babies in a day care center in Oklahoma City.

But, back to our pal The Motor City Madman. Other Nugent bon mots noted that four of the supreme court justices hate the constitution and America. That if Obama is re-elected Nugent would either be dead or in jail by this time next year. That one can be interpreted in a couple of different ways I suppose. Either Nugent is going to attempt to assassinate the president and expects to be killed or caught during the act. Or, the current administration will consider him a dire enough threat that he must be dealt with in some conspiratorial fashion. Trust me Ted, if the Nixon thugs didn't get rid of Hunter Thompson you're safe. The White House only reacted now because it is an election year. The truth is. once assured of another term the Obama people are going to clump you right into that same group that includes the birthers. That would be the group too stupid to even sneeze at. In other words your self perceived political influence is as over rated as your music.

The secret service is supposed to interview Nugent tomorrow or the next day, if they can pull themselves away from the Colombian hookers long enough. They probably won't grill him about the previously mentioned statements. They might ask him about his final analogy though. The one where he said, "If a coyote comes into your living room and pisses on your couch its not the coyote's fault. Its your fault for not shooting him." That one gets pretty close to the line. Even Mitt recognized it and put a little distance between the campaign and rock and roll Nugent style.

Although I've never threatened to shoot any metaphor for any president in my living room, I can, on a level, understand Nugent's anger. In many ways I feel exactly the same way about republicans and conservatives as he does about democrats and liberals. We both have that intractable feeling the other side is going to cripple the nation. Our outrage over it is our common bond. He is the enemy and he is in many ways me.

Maybe we should sit down and have a beer sometime. Actually that is a great idea. After all we are both fans of chef and professional snark, Anthony Bourdain. We'll all bring our guns and compare barrel lengths. It'll be a real guy's night out. Email me, Ted, or give me a call. I'll keep my calender clear just for you, buddy.

Until then, rock on dude and always remember, without guys like you there wouldn't be guys like me.


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