As Stephen Colbert's last Late Show approached there was a great deal of debate about who would be his final guest. Rumors swirled and the speculation grew more fantastical each day. Even Pope Leo XIV's name was mentioned. It was a bit of farce thought to be planted either by Colbert or his staff and taken to the extreme last night during the grand finale. After his monologue Colbert introduced the Pope. He was quickly then informed the first American born Pontiff refused to leave his dressing room because he hadn't been provided with a, "Chicago style hotdog." A backstage camera showed a closed dressing room door with Leo's name on it. It opened a crack, then white robed arm emerged holding a hotdog. The imitation Pope yelled, "Does this look like a Chicago style hotdog to you?" The hotdog was thrown to the floor and the door slammed shut. It was the last we heard from late night TV's version of Leo.
Actually, Stephen Colbert's last sit-down guest was rock legend, Paul McCartney. McCartney and the rest of the Beatles made their American debut at the Ed Sullivan Theater, where the Late Show was taped, 62 years ago. That didn't mean there weren't other celebrities salted throughout the audience and in the wings. It was an eclectic bunch ranging from Paul Rudd, who was there with the, "traditional" retirement gift of five bananas, to Tim Meadows, a Second City Improv Group teammate of Colbert's years ago, to Physicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson--there to explain a glowing inter-dimensional worm hole which had appeared backstage. ("Your cancellation has created a rift in the comedy-variety-talk continuum.")
The list of cameos ran on and on, but that isn't the point. The point is a show, which could have sunk into an abyss of bitter, ruthless, satire, refused to do so. Yes, the network which had just cancelled the highest rated late-night show was mentioned, but barely. And although Donald Trump's presence loomed in everyone's thoughts, his name wasn't mentioned a single time by anyone. A fact which must have irked that crazed ego to no end.
Come on, you know he had to have been watching. He can't stay away from the stuff that enrages him the most. He fuels his late-night adventures with it. Anger is the man's drug of choice--although one does have to think he also throws in a few unknown chemical additives.
Of course there is a cure for TV rage junkies that's very obvious. If you don't like something on television or a particular personality, just don't fucking watch. Do I give a rat's ass what Sean Hannity says? No, because I never watch his show. It saves me and everyone around me a lot of grief.
CBS claimed they cancelled The Late Show because it cost too much to produce. According to Wikipedia, David Ellison, the son of Oracle co-founder, Larry Ellison went from actor, to producer, to head of Skydance Media. In 2024 Skydance made a bid to take over Paramount Global, which was, "under political pressure from President Donald Trump, including the settlement of a $16 million lawsuit by Trump." The deal was approved by the Trump administration, and it went through in 2025. No one admits it, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out getting rid of Colbert, an effective critic of Trump, was part of the deal. Almost immediately after Ellison took over it was announced Colbert would be gone.
CBS/Paramount, not wanting to be too obvious, didn't just dump Colbert, but the entire show. However, knowing public and media reaction would be overwhelmingly harsh, the corporation scraped together enough cash to continue the, "costly," production for several months after the announcement.
Today, Trump posted on social media, "Colbert is finally finished at CBS. Amazing that he lasted this long! No talent, no no ratings, no life. He was like a dead person. You could take any person off the street and they would be better. than this total jerk. Thank goodness he is finally gone." That's our man Donald, both wrong and bitter to the end.
Stephen Colbert was certainly alive last night. So were his guests and the audience. The show ended with McCartney, Elvis Costello, Colbert, and others singing the Beatles' "Hello, Goodbye." The stage was jammed with staff and members of the audience singing along and dancing. In the final scene, Sir Paul and Colbert stood by a large leaver backstage. When McCartney threw it, the entire Ed Sullivan theater was consumed by the swirling green glowing worm hole.
But, like I said, no one mentioned Donald Trump by name.
5-22-26
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