We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us...
Private John Winger, from the movie, "Stripes."
Well, a large portion of us anyway.
Late Tuesday night, early Wednesday morning the container ship, Dali suffered a series of power outages as it was leaving Baltimore Harbor bound for Sri Lanka. As a result the ship lost all of its steering capabilities. At 1:39AM it struck the Francis Scott Key Bridge, collapsing the entire 1.6 mile span.
Faster than you can say conspiracy, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene posted, "Accident, or terrorist attack?" on social media. She followed up with a second post demanding a complete investigation into the incident to find out if it was indeed an act of terrorism. While many, including myself, find it hard to believe, Ms. Greene's posts were the closest thing to sanity many right wing screechers were saying.
Utah state legislator and candidate for governor, Phil Lyman posted, "This is what happens when you have Governors who prioritize diversity over the wellbeing and security of citizens." He later posted, "DEI =DIE." It is unclear when and where Representative Lyman became an expert on maritime safety, or the commission which oversees the Port of Baltimore. However, it's obvious he is convinced that somehow, some way, gays and, or people of color are to blame for the Dali taking down that bridge.
Others, not quite as informed, blamed the black Mayor of Baltimore, because he is , "a DEI mayor." Not only that he is just another example of a liberal leading, "a failed city." At least the guy in Utah knows the municipal government in Baltimore has absolutely nothing to do with running the port.
Pete Buttigieg was blamed apparently because he is a gay man who has kids. One post read, "Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg to address Baltimore Bridge collapse as soon as he is done chestfeeding." Others said Buttigieg was trying to avoid responsibility for the crash by saying the bridge was built for racist reasons.
Still another post blamed the state of Israel for the accident. He, or she--it's hard to tell when the poster is remaining anonymous--believes Israeli intelligence disabled the ship's steering system in retaliation for the U.S. failing to fully support Israel in the war against Hamas. It wasn't specified whether it was a hands on job,, or those Jewish space lasers Marjorie Taylor Greene used to talk about were responsible.
South Carolina Congresswoman Nancy Mace posted it was all the Biden Administration's fault. She pointed out the President's, "weaponization," of the DOJ has caused people not to believe anything the government says. In addition, too much of Biden's infrastructure bill is going into, "green," industries. The implication being not enough money was dedicated to building bridges that can withstand a hit by a 200 million pound ship traveling at eight knots.
Ah, but it wasn't all about the Francis Scott Key Bridge. In Michigan, republican state legislator, Mark Maddock posted a long shot photo of some busses loading passengers from a plane on the tarmac at Detroit Metro Airport. Accompanying the photo was a desperate message which read, "Happening right now. Three busses just loaded up with illegal invaders at Detroit Metro. Anyone have any idea where they're headed with their police escorts?"
Maddock's post seemed to be ta rock solid confirmation of all those MAGA accusations that Joe Biden is flying in plane loads of illegal aliens who will vote for him in November. That's right, baby, The Great Replacement has begun.
Or not.
The people deplaning and boarding the busses weren't being flown in from Central America, or even the planet Tralfamadore. No, they came from that far away place, Spokane, WA. The, "illegal invaders," were the Gonzaga University' men's basketball team along with coaches, staff, and university officials. They were arriving to play in the NCAA men's basketball tournament.
We have to give it up to Maddock though. When someone pointed out the truth to him on social media he stuck by his guns. His answer was, "Sure kommie. Good talking point," thus proving without a doubt, once these fuckers go crazy, they stay crazy.
The fictional Private, Winger was right. We just didn't know how right until the Year of Our Lord, 2024.
3-29-24
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