The Only Things Republicans Hate More Than Themselves

 Word reached us only moments ago that the new republican nominee for Speaker of the House is Tom Emmer of Minnesota. 

HUZZAH! Praise the Lord and pass the gavel. Let us celebrate the end of chaos and insanity. Maybe we can actually see some governing around here for a change.

Oh were it only so. Unfortunately, as we've seen over the last three weeks getting nominated for the speakership doesn't mean squat. Even Don Trump's hand picked boy and fellow insurrectionist, Jim Jordan couldn't get 218 of these right wing clowns to vote for him. At today's republican caucus vote the gentleman from the great state of Minnesota was 101 votes short of the number he needs to lead the house. And that's doesn't even count democrats who have been unanimously opposed to everyone the republicans have put forward.

The count this afternoon was 117 for Emmer, 97 for Louisiana's Mike Johnson, 5 for other candidates, and 1 present. You know, present as in, Yeah, I'm here, but I really don't give a damn anymore. Any way you look at those numbers it would seem Representative Emmer is still a long way from the big chair in the front of the room. 

In truth no one has been near it since Matt Gaetz and his neo rock septet, The Destroyers, along with a big boost from democrats, canned Kevin McCarthy. The democrats were on board because after making an agreement with McCarthy he blamed them for everything up to and including the buffet served to the Donner party. Gaetz did it because McCarthy dared to make the deal in the first place and frankly, just because he likes to blow shit up.

Therin is the real problem for this twisted version of the republican party. A number of them are fine with this paralysis because they don't want the government to work.  They think it is why they've been elected, and tragically, thanks to the MAGA cult, maybe they are right. Unfortunately what the yokels living in the western end of the Florida panhandle want isn't what the rest of the country wants, or needs.

It certainly isn't what Ukraine, Israel, or Taiwan needs. Just ask them. Vlad Putin is licking his chops right now as he watches this vile nonsense. So is the leadership of Iran and China. No matter how well the Israelis and Ukrainians fight, once they're out of bullets and artillery shells, the end for both is near. The same is true for Taiwan.

Of course a lot of republicans haven't like the Ukrainians ever since Volodymyr Zelenskyy refused to go along with trump's extortion attempt involving Hunter Biden. The Israelis are a problem however. Evangelical Christians who are a large part of their base have traditionally supported Israel to the hilt. Cutting them off might be a bit tougher to justify. Especially when the main source of American support for Hamas comes from students at all those Ivy League schools Evangelicals loathe so much. 

But hey, you can't be a real nihilist without pissing a few people off.

And that is where a large chunk of the republican party is right now. How else can you explain the phone calls threatening the spouses and families of house members who refused to vote for Jim Jordan. Or the derisive laughter at Trump rallies when their man makes jokes about Paul Pelosi's medical condition. Or when the leading republican presidential candidate flirts with contempt by posting salacious lies online about court officers during proceedings against him. Those aren't the actions of a legitimate political party, but rather a mob of thugs run amok on meth.

Indeed, it has become obvious to all of us, when it comes to republicans these days hate is all they know. And they hate themselves only slightly less than they hate democrats. 

Well, that and democracy.

10-24-23