Thursday, March 19, 2020

Pastor Tony Spell, Dictator Law, And a Politically Motivated Virus

To paraphrase the late Hunter S. Thompson, "When the going gets weird, the really weird go stupid. How else can you explain the Reverend, Tony Spell of Baton Rouge, Louisiana?

A few days ago Governor John Bel Edwards issued a ban on gatherings of more than 50 people at a time in the state due to the spread of the coronavirus. That was right before the Big Orange Kahuna in Washington recommended no more than ten people should get together. All this because it had suddenly dawned on the President of these United States he couldn't lie and con his way out of a deadly pandemic.

Pastor Spell, who leads a five campus church called Life Tabernacle was having none of it. In his words no, "dictator law," would prevent his congregation from worshiping and presumably tithing. On Tuesday night Spell held a service with an undisclosed number of congregants although it was apparently over 50 because the cops showed up to enforce the Governor's ban.

One of the officers present told Brother Spell if he tried to hold another large service the National Guard would intervene. That was news to Louisiana National Guard Col. Ed Bush. He immediately issued a statement which said, "The National Guard has not been tasked with enforcing any of the curfew, social distancing, or meeting requirements set by the Governor. Our focus right now is completely with helping state agencies with preparedness and medical readiness."

In other words, I don't want my guys pictured in the media blocking the doors of a church with fixed bayonets no matter how much of an idiot the reverend is.

Hints of the coming trouble began last week just after Edwards issued the proclamation. Louisiana republican representative, Clay Higgins sent the Governor a letter which in part read, "I agree that all our constituents and religious leaders should follow the recommendation of the Centers of Disease Control. However, the decision to gather should be the choice of the individual, or institution and not a mandate by any government entity. The state has no authority to enforce this proclamation, nor any ban on worship."

God love politicians. They can say so many conflicting things in a single breath.

Reverend Spell, on the other hand, cut straight to the chase. According to him, "The virus, we believe, is politically motivated," he told a local media outlet. "We hold our religious rights dear and we are going to assemble no matter what someone says."

That's right ladies and gentlemen. All those little invisible round balls with the squirmy things sticking out of them are the tool of  liberal elitists meant to destroy our ability to worship God and pay for the new swimming pool at the parsonage. Now, let us pray this bug away.

Okay, maybe it isn't that bad, but you have to be a tad suspicious after Spell told the press his Sunday congregation, which numbers around 1,000 souls, will be given, "anointed handkerchiefs with healing virtues."

At this moment the state of Louisiana has 257 confirmed cases of COVID-19. Four people have died from it. And, while not wanting to doubt the effectiveness of those anointed handkerchiefs it is fairly safe to say the number of sick and dead will soon increase despite their distribution.

You see, the horrible truth is, these days, religious healing virtues just can't compete with science. Something Tony Spell is going to learn pretty quickly.




3-19-20

1 comment:

  1. I haven't been commenting much lately because I simply don't know what to say. A nation, our world, came into the pandemic already emotionally scared by the politics of the day. Rev. Spell should be concentrating on his electronic ministry now and helping, not hindering public health measures. I understand online ministries are are doing very well these days.

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