The multiverse is a theory that states many universes exist parallel to each other.
www.dummies.com
Actually it isn't a theory. We have definitive proof alternate, or parallel universes do exist. That's because, as we all know, Donald John Trump lives in one.
After displaying his unique sense of Christmas cheer by posting derogatory tweets about Deputy FBI Director, Andrew McCabe, and FBI General Counsel, James Baker--acts which at least two legal experts said could be interpreted as attempts to intimidate potential witnesses--Mr. Trump gave his best wishes to all branches of the military via a video conference call.
During the call he saved his kindest words for the Coast Guard. "You've done such an incredible job in Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico," he said. "Many republicans are very happy, but I have to tell you the people of Florida, Texas, and Puerto Rico and lots of other states are even more happy. What a job you've done--saving thousands and thousands of lives."
Really?
Well let's give Puerto Rico a call and ask them exactly how happy they are this Christmas Day. Good luck getting through though. There are plenty of places on the island, which is sovereign U.S. territory, where phone service is either still unavailable, or spotty at best.
Tragically that's the least of their problems. Hurricane Maria blew across Puerto Rico on September 20th of this year. As of December 11th roughly 50% of the island's 3.4 million people were still without electrical power. The AP reports the town of Morovis, population 30,000, located in the central mountains is one of nine municipalities still waiting for even a single light bulb to work without help from portable generators, or converted car batteries.
According to the AP roughly 1,000 homes in Morovis lost their roofs and running water wasn't available until the first week of November. Until then laundry and bathing chores were performed in a nearby river. Representatives from FEMA didn't hit town until the first week of December and then it was only to, "assess the damage." As of Christmas Day not one of the American citizens living in Morovis has received a penny in federal assistance and those roofs remain mostly tarps hung by volunteers and the locals themselves.
Island wide, experts say the electrical grid is anywhere from 65% to 70% up and running, but they're unsure how the juice is distributed because the system which figures that out still doesn't work. The Army Corps of Engineers is now saying it will be May of 2018 before power is fully restored.
It is estimated 30,000 people lost their jobs as a direct result of Maria while a huge portion of the agricultural industry was wiped out. It has also been reported over 200,000 Puerto Ricans have fled to Florida and unknown numbers have moved to other locales on the mainland because of the disaster.
None of this horrific shit matters to Don Trump though. He signed some things, threw a few rolls of paper towels to the masses, then walked away. For him, in his parallel universe, Puerto Rico is fixed--it is, in the vernacular, old news and therefore nothing to worry about as he gets ready to tee off yet again at Mar-a-Lago.
A cynic might say the nightmare in Puerto Rico would already be over if it was part of the mainland U.S. and the first language of most of the population wasn't Spanish. However that would be an unsubtle hint the man in the White House is a racist asshole.
Oh wait. In my universe he is.
Merry Christmas America.
12-25-17
Merry Christmas and Ho Ho Ho. We've never had a Christmas gift like Donald Trump, and we bought it for ourselves. :-(
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