Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Sally Kern's Last Ride: Three Bills in the Works and a Dead Heat on the West Side of Oklahoma City

Just about everyone will admit it is easy to rag on Oklahoma state representative Sally Kern. Let's face it her homophobic rants are so crude and hateful they've made both national news and the late night talk show circuit. Usually everyone references her infamous remark about homosexuality being more dangerous to the country than terrorism. That is a simplification of the history lesson she, as a former teacher, was actually trying to impart.  The exact quote reads this way, "Studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades. So it is the death knell of this country. I honestly believe it's the biggest threat that our nation has, even more so than terrorism, or Islam--which I think is a big threat, okay."

That's right, studies show. Unfortunately for academics everywhere no one has ever been sure of what studies she was citing, when they took place, or which societies have actually fallen victim to the clutches of gay equality throughout the millennia. It should also be noted, everyone always skips over the inclusion of Islam on this terrible rocky shore the great ship known as America is threatened by. How can that be in this day and age?

Perhaps in Sally's weird little world they are all in it together. That would be a summit worth witnessing--gay men, drag queens, and stone cold lesbians on one side of the table while al-Qaeda, ISIS, and Hamas sit on the other--all of them plotting the down fall of the United States.

See, just the mention of her name invites an at length and surreal digression.

In todays, The Oklahoman, there was a story about the plucky little republican. She has been busily writing bills, three in fact. The first says no taxpayer money, or government salaries can be used to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples, or in support of them. The "in support of them" part of the proposed law is a little fuzzy, but when it comes to the marriage licenses the author is more specific. A federal court may have said it is legal for gays to get married in Oklahoma, but if Sally Kern has her way it will become illegal for any city, county, or state official to issue them a marriage license, or for the state to even pay for the paper it is printed on. One local source, "The Lost Ogle," goes so far as to say the act includes wording which calls for the dismissal of any judge who rules the bill bat shit bill crazy and unconstitutional.

The second piece of legislation concerns gay and transgendered teen agers under 18. It says the parents of such a child have every right to send their kid off to what is known as, conversion therapy. Conversion therapy is, in its most basic form, nothing more than aversion therapy. You know--show a 15 year old boy a picture of some half naked stud and if he gets an erection whack him in the back of the head with a baseball bat. After repeating the treatment fifteen or twenty times the youth's brain might be turned into a horrific, suicidal, mush, but he will have achieved Mom and Dad's desired conversion.

The third bill is basically a nostalgic trip into yester-year. If it is passed any business in the state that wants can refuse to seat, sell to, or serve gays, or transgendered people. In fact you'll be able to post a sign on the front door of your gun range, or convenience store that says something like, "No Queers Allowed."

We've been there before haven't we? Well, at least some of us have.

One would like to think none of this nonsense will make it out of the house, or at least the senate, but you never know. Sally Kern was sworn in as a state legislator in January of 2005. She has been spewing this vile crap ever since. In all those years she has never even been pushed in an election. In fact she is such an institution during the years 2006, 2012, and 2014 she ran unopposed in the general election. The only reason we'll be rid of her in 2016 is because of the Oklahoma term limits law.

Yeah, it might be easy to rag on Sally Kern, but thanks to the voters of House District 84 and an utterly powerless democratic party we certainly couldn't run the awful crone out of office.

All of which raises the question--who is worse--Kern and her politics, or the people on the west side of Oklahoma City who have elected her six times?

In the end it appears to be a dead heat.

sic vita est


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