There are a lot of things about the American character that puzzles the rest of the world. Some of it is not justified, but there are some things which are completely understandable. One of the most obvious and perplexing quirks Americans have--and it has been around for a long time--is the steadfast belief that everybody in the world wants to become an American. This notion is so ingrained, it is nearly genetic in nature. It is also the reason why we get so unreasonably irritated when we run into someone, or someplace who has absolutely no desire to participate in, The Great American Experiment.
Which brings us to a couple of places, primarily, Canada. Donald Trump first brought up the subject of Canada becoming the 51st American state in a White House meeting with Canadian representatives. They took it as some odd joke and had a quiet chuckle about it. Trump, however, took the, "joke," public and it went from humorous to downright bizare. Then, during a phone call with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Trump said he wanted to, "revisit," Canadian American border agreements.
It was at that point the Canadians realized Donald Trump wasn't joking at all. The crazy fucker actually had designs on Canadian territory and sovereignty.
Of course, this isn't the first time the United States has lusted for Canadian turf. In the War of 1812 America waged a campaign to not only gain control of the Great Lakes, but Montreal and the St. Lawrence River. During that campaign American forces attacked the Canadian city of York, located on the north side of Lake Ontario. American ground forces were led by Zebulon Pike. He's the same guy who explored Colorado and then wandered into New Mexico.
During the expedition Pike and his men tried to climb the tallest mountain outside of what is now, Colorado Springs. Unfortunately, the attempt was made in February and between the waist deep snow and a little starvation they didn't make it to the top. Even though Pike didn't get there, the mountain, Pike's Peak was named for him and that is just about all U.S. high school students learn about the man.
But I digress. Let's get back to York. Before Pike's Americans could take full possession of the fort outside of town British troops blew up all their unused powder and ammunition so it wouldn't fall into American hands. Pike and a number of American soldiers were killed in the explosion by flying debris and shrapnel. The remainder of the U.S. force, now minus their commander, thoroughly looted York, then burned it and its docks to the ground. After the war, in 1838, York was renamed Toronto. Before the fighting ended, however, the British, citing the looting and burning of York did the same thing to an American village, named Washington, D.C.
The Americans won a naval battle on Lake Erie, but the rest of the Canadian campaign was a disaster. Montreal and the St. Lawrence remained firmly in British and Canadian control.
In the 1840's the U.S. wanted to move the western border with Canada north and there was talk of war if the Canadians and British didn't agree to it. It never came about because we went to war against Mexico instead about the same time. A two front war, one involving the British Empire, seemed like a bit much for even manifest destiny to handle. The argument with Canada was dropped and the border remained where it was and still is to this day.
There are currently five open border disputes between Canada and the United States. Four of them involve imaginary lines drawn in the water. One is about a 20 acre barren rock off the coast of Maine called Machias Seal Island. Its population is, as you can guess, made up entirely of seals, unless you count the Canadian Coast Guard crew who maintain a lighthouse there.
It's doubtful Donald Trump is aware of these five disputes, or past American misadventures regarding Canada. He isn't much for either details, or history. No, one has the feeling he is simply pissed off because the Canadian government initially laughed off his offer to become the 51st state. Then when he appealed directly to Canadian citizens (I'll cut your taxes by 50% if you vote to become Americans) his offer was met with derision and disgust. You could almost hear him saying to himself, "What the hell is wrong with those people? Don't they understand what I'm offering? Are they fucking communists?"
In his rage he began slapping tariffs on everything without any understanding of what nightmares they might cause. He dragged out the old, "They're cheating us," excuse to justify it all. Then he put a temporary stop to some of them when America's big three automakers sat him down and explained to him the tariffs would collapse their entire manufacturing process.
So far the net result of Donald John' Trump's astonished outrage over Canadians wanting to remain Canadian is that they boo the U.S. national anthem at sporting events. In Ontario American spirits, beer, and wine have been banned from stores. And, more importantly, Americans in places like New York, Michigan, and Minnesota are paying more for the electrical power they import from Canada.
We are still less than two months into his second term. Given what Donald Trump has said, what he has done, and what he has attempted to do, we have to ask ourselves what is he actually trying to accomplish? Is he really just a bat shit crazy nativist? Or, is he the Russian asset, code named Krasnov, the conspiracy theory says he is?
Why don't we take a poll in Toronto and see what the Canadians think?
3-10-25