Here is what the combined intel agencies of South Korea, Japan, and the United States know about the location and health of North Korean big boy, Kim Jong Un. Not diddly squat.
Thanks to Kim's absence the rumors are here, there, and everywhere. The esteemed American news source, TMZ, known primarily for its ace investigative reports on political heavy weights such as Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston, has declared him dead. Others have reported him gravely ill, while a few have split the difference by saying Kim himself isn't dead, but his brain is. Concern is such it has been reported a team of Chinese doctors and bureaucrats made a trip to check him out.
As the North Korean press has maintained an ominous silence even Donald Trump has weighed in on the subject. First by wishing Kim well, as if something was wrong. Then, days later, reversing himself by telling the media the guy is perfectly fine. Trump didn't offer any information on how he knew Kim was as healthy and happy as a beaver building a dam, perhaps he received a postcard.
You know, Dear Don: This is me on the 9th green, wish you were here.
All the speculation began when Kim missed the celebration of his grandfather's birthday in mid April. He was last seen in public on April 11th which was 16 days ago. Usually that's a blink of an eye, but in this the age of COVID-19 every day seems like a year.
What we do know is Kim Jong Un is a beyond pudgy dude who likes basketball, weird haircuts, and having an imported smoke. He also enjoys a good party with plenty of scotch and missile launches. We're a little fuzzy on his age, but he is said to be 36.
He's also a ruthless bastard who doesn't hesitate to execute anyone he deems a threat. That includes his uncle, Jang Song-thaek along with all his close relatives and their children and grandchildren and his own half brother. In other words he is a real time Stay Puft Marshmallow Man who you don't want to fuck with.
Kim claims to be a communist, but his family has been ruling the North for three generations. It is a royal dynasty of unmatched political power which has lasted since 1948. To put it in perspective, during the same time frame there have been 13 different U.S. Presidents, only two of them have been related. In addition it has been said he owns one hundred cars, a private island, a yacht, and rolls around in a personal train. The train was rumored to have been spotted sitting near a resort he frequents leading experts on North Korea to conclude they don't know shit.
In fact, for all anyone knows, despite North Korean insistence the Coronavirus isn't a problem there, it could be Kim is simply self isolating. That's right, just like many Americans he is stuck working from home while binge watching "Tiger King," on Netflix.
Why not? He's still young, but his family has a history of heart disease, he smokes French cigarettes, and given his weight, it's possible he is a type 2 diabetic. That throws him into the same high risk group millions of Americans find themselves in.
Indeed, the only difference between him and us at the moment could be--and this is also speculation--thanks to his position, Kim Jong Un doesn't have to worry about running out of toilet paper.
In any event the western media is trying to figure out who his successor might be. They range from his younger sister, Kim Yo Jong to others, some relatives, some not. If something is wrong though a major shift in the power culture of North Korea would have to occur. While Kim Yo Jong is a direct descendent of the Mt. Paektu bloodline--the holy mountain where the Korean nation and Kim Jong Il were supposedly born--North Korea is a stridently patriarchal culture which might not tolerate a female ruler.
It is, however, hard to believe anyone not from the family would end up on the throne. These people aren't symbolic figureheads like the Windsors. In North Korea they are practically gods and have literally held the power of life and death for 72 years. Besides, as one wag put it, Kim Yo Jong looks rather like a, "Bond villain, beautiful in a deadly sort of way."
Ah, genetics and stereotypes all rolled into one.
Of course we'll find out sooner, or later, despite the lack of credible intel either way. I mean you can't keep a stiff on ice forever and human nature being what it is, someone will eventually try to grab power. As of now, however, South Korea maintains there isn't anything unusual going on across the DMZ. There aren't any sudden movements of troops and the North Korean media remains mum on the subject.
Yes as near as we can tell all is good with Kim Jong Un. Hey, at least that's what Don Trump says anyway. And surely he knows what is going on.
4-27-20
We've learned a lot about political power in the last few years, especially what kind of people seek it, and what they will do to obtain it. It's scary, and we are foolish if we are not concerned about what a ruthless dictator will do when ill and not feeling well. One also wonders, what does the future hold for the leader of a secret society, with much to be secret about? What will he do for "retirement," if he is perceived as weak and and/or ill by those who have been under the thumb of Kim and his family since 1948? This may not end well for him or anyone else.
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