Don Trump, Moe Howard, and Farcical Chaos

If the COVID-19 pandemic has proven anything in this foul year it is that Donald J. Trump has the same leadership skills as the late Moe Howard did on the silver screen.

All of which would be really funny--at least to the adolescent boy dwelling within many of us--except Howard's farcical chaos was an act, while Trump's is real life and it involves actual people really dying. At this moment the count is up to 48,900 Americans, although that number, by the time I finish this, will have grown.

Indeed, it is tough to have faith in a President who views an incurable disease solely through a political lens--one built specifically to enhance and improve his own image, rather than solve the problem at hand. It is even tougher when you realize the crazy son of a bitch hasn't a clue.

Let's face it, the Big Orange Guy is starting to resemble a pin ball whacked back and forth by bumpers and flippers. In, short, he is caroming every which direction.

How else can you describe a man who, at one point said COVID deaths would be minimal, as in one, or two, then shifted to a count which ranged between 100,000 and a quarter million. Or, someone who characterized state ordered shut downs as, "a cure worse than the disease," then turned around and encouraged them, saying they were necessary. All the while promising overwhelmed medical facilities help from the federal government, but only in those in states whose chief executives publicly thanked him personally.

Last week, as the economy continued to crash, Mr Trump, by then a tad panicked, informed the world the President, had, "total authority," over the governors when it came to lifting their stay at home directives. Within a day he reversed himself and told the very same world it was completely up to the governors to open up non essential businesses and negate social distancing in their states.

A scant 24 hours later, he went on Twitter to encourage his followers to, "Liberate," states with stringent shut down laws. It was series of tweets which prompted demonstrations from Michigan, Colorado and beyond that featured everything from self styled militias, to Confederate flags, Nazi symbols, and bellicose trailer park Barbies.

In response to the widely scattered demonstrations--none of which featured more than a couple of hundred protestors--and Trump's liberation tweets the Governor of Georgia promised to re-open, among other things, tattoo parlors and bowling alleys tomorrow, then movie theaters and restaurants on Monday.

Imagine Governor Brian Kemp's shock, when Mr. Trump scolded him for opening up his state too soon. Trump, finding the fence rail exceedingly narrow, did soften the criticism by making sure everyone knew it was ultimately Kemp's call, even if he, the President who a few days before had, "total authority," disagreed with it.

Yesterday, taking a break from all the death and disease, Mr. Trump apparently spent his morning watching one of his favorite TV shows, "Fox and Friends. At 7:31AM, it aired a segment which showed Iranian swift boats buzzing around an American war ship in the Persian Gulf. The incident took place the week before. A scant 35 minutes later, El Don tweeted, "I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down any and all Iranian gun boats if they harrass our ships at sea."

That was news to the navy, who hadn't received any instructions of the kind prior to the tweet. Luckily there are still sane people in command positions. They shurgged off the tweet, one saying officers and sailors deployed in the region know the difference between a warning issued for foreign consumption and a direct order to open fire. Left unsaid is they are also acutely aware you don't, "shoot down," boats, you sink them.

Yes, sometimes it is easy to confuse this administration with a Three Stooges short and Don with Moe. Unfortunately the rest of us aren't Larry, Curly, or Shemp and here the crack pot schemes aren't funny, but they are certainly deadly.


sic vita est


4-23-20