It's finally here, America. That's right. In this contentious age of political and social division, of the old saw, "You are either with us, or you are against us." An age in which the daily news is dominated by discord, accusations, increasing violence, and overt graft and corruption. This is the one weekend we can all kick back together and celebrate not a religious observance, or even some idealized national hero. This weekend, Sunday specifically, we can all come together to feast and drink while enjoying the Super Bowl football game.
No politics, no arguments spinning out of control, just all of us as one, cheering oversized, really fast guys clad in 21st century armor as they run around knocking the living shit out of each other. All of it spiced throughout with ultra pricey ads we haven't seen endlessly--yet--and the type of rock 'em sock 'em half-time show we can dance together to.
Oh--wait.
As soon as the National Football League announced the musical acts for this year's Super Bowl the MAGA tribe, from top to bottom, began howling like gut shot wolves. Yes, the same people who were utterly outraged when the restaurant chain, Cracker Barrel changed their logo--they took out the bullwhip because these days, unless you are a nostalgic descendent of slave owners, or a BDSM enthusiast they are sort of out of fashion--declared the lineup was too, "woke."
The presence of the group, Green Day was bad enough. However, what really stoked their apoplexy was the announcement that, Benito Antonio Martinez Ocasio, aka, Bad Bunny, would be the headliner. The guy is Puerto Rican, for God's sake. (Although the last time we checked, Puerto Ricans are American citizens.) Not only that, but most of his songs are in fucking Spanish. That's not American--even though it is estimated 45 million people in this country age five and older speak Spanish at home.
The Grand Poohbah of all things MAGA, Donald Trump was so incensed he announced he wouldn't personally attend the game. Of course, knowing Trump, there could be other reasons for his non-attendance. Like maybe because the game is being played in a stadium located just outside of San Francisco where he is about as welcome as an invading Mongolian horde in Constantinople. Or perhaps it's even because the two teams playing, Seattle and New England, are based in states which haven't exactly embraced his peculiar brand of politics and ethnic, let's say, relocations.
In response to Bad Bunny and Green Day, the MAGA faithful initially demanded they be replaced by good old Country and Western acts. It's a genre of music not usually associated with the Bay Area. Beyond that, while it isn't clear what the popularity of C&W is in Seattle, at least in the mid-1980s and early 1990s Boston was the single worst market for it in the nation. During that period of time not a single radio station in the metro, AM, or FM programmed Country and Western.
Add it all together and the NFL found it pretty easy to respond, "no," to their demands. Besides, they've never liked Trump in the first place. So much so, years ago the owners who actually run the league, wouldn't let him on the action when he attempted to buy a franchise. (Let's face it, those guys run businesses. Even back then they knew he was more adept at running cons.)
So, Turning Point USA came to the rescue. This year those far-right hot dogs have organized an, "Alternative half-time show." You know, kind of like Kellyanne Conway's, "alternative truth," regarding the attendance at Donald Trump's first inauguration. The headliner for Turning Point's show will be none other than, Robert James Richie, aka Kid Rock. Mr. Rock comes from a fabulously well to do family in Romeo, MI. His father owned multiple car dealerships, and he grew up on an estate which was large enough for an apple orchard and a barn to house the family's horses. Wikipedia notes that some time in the 1980s young Robert James became interested in Hip-hop music and began to score gigs as a breakdancer, rapper, and DJ.
In short, Kid Rock became rich in his own right and famous by appropriating everything he isn't and never has been. No wonder he and Trump are such pals.
In fact, such good pals it is practically guaranteed one sone he won't be singing is, "Cool Daddy Cool" most infamously featured in the soundtrack of the movie, "Osmosis Jones." In that little ditty, Kid Rock belts out the lyric, "Young ladies, young ladies, I like 'em underage. Some say that's statutory; bit I say it's mandatory."
Indeed, it isn't exactly a line Donald Trump wants to hear right now. But hey, at least it wouldn't have been sung in Spanish.
2-5-26