Americans have always been a hysterical lot, prone to panic and conspiracy theories so bizarre no science fiction writer could, or would put them to paper. These days such behavior has been amplified almost beyond comprehension.
According to a Pew Research Center poll released last week, 62% of adults in the United States believe the media is exaggerating the risk of catching the virus known as COVID-19. Beaches in Florida and California have been swarming with people, many of them students on spring break. Most of those crowds have a complete disdain for the dangers posed by the disease. The prevailing attitude being, "If I catch it, I catch it." What escapes them is the other side of that cold coin. It is, "If I spread it, I spread it." Or, to put it another way, fuck Mom and Dad, not to mention Nana and Grandpa.
It goes further than simple cynics with delusions of immortality though. The Washington Post quoted a retired chemistry teacher in Kansas who said, "I'd like to know how it got out of China." Robert Kramer, 84 of Wellsville told the Post reporter he saw a, "Chinese expert on YouTube," who said the bug escaped from a biological warfare plant located near the Wuhan meat market experts believe was ground zero for the global pandemic. In some crass corners this is known as, The Fu Manchu Scenario.
Kramer, however, wasn't dismissive of a possible Sino-Main Stream Media connection. He went on to say, "I just wonder how much of this is being done to besmirch our president. We've had three years of constant criticism. If somebody shot a goose in Greenland out of season they'd blame Trump."
Probably not Bob, but, let's face it, the old boy did try to buy Greenland not that long ago. When the Danes said no, he threw a hissy fit then cancelled a trip to meet with the Danish Prime Minister--not exactly presidential behavior.
Brother Kramer may have been a tad off with his analogy, but he struck at the heart of the conspiratorial matter.
While every college and university in the land is going to online classes, Jerry Falwell Jr. has called on Liberty University students to return to campus so they can enjoy each other's company in the dorms, "they've already paid for." Falwell, an ardent Trump fan, told the media, "Thank God we have the best president we possibly could to deal with a crisis like this." Then he threw in a line about the democrats being willing to destroy the economy in order to defeat his man, The Big Orange Guy. The hint being, the virus is just a tool to further the plot.
In the same vein the republican Lt. Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick told Fox News propagandist Tucker Carlson, grandparents should get out there to stimulate business at the risk of their lives. This act of literal self sacrifice should be performed, according to Patrick, so their grandkids can inherit a vibrant economy.
Yeah, you go ahead, Mr. Lt. Governor, I'll follow you out the door as soon as I can. Just call me from the local mall when you get there.
Meanwhile, Donald J. Trump is getting edgy with whole situation. Lately he has been on Twitter saying things like, the shutdown is a cure worse than the disease and America wasn't built to have businesses closed for a prolonged period of time. He is now insisting he wants everyone open by Easter, April 12th. What he didn't mention is six of those shuttered establishments are among his most profitable resort/hotels.
Yes, many have irons in this fire, including the occupant of the White House. The only question is what God awful statistic will the captains of capitalism consider, acceptable casualties?
Obviously we're about to find out.
Finally, the Mayor of Oklahoma City, one of the few republicans in the state possessing a brain, just issued a proclamation which orders all, "non essential businesses," in town to close. The only question being, other than pharmacies and grocery stores, which businesses are considered essential. That word comes tomorrow.
Not to worry though, at least for a while. Thanks in part to the complete incompetence of the Commander in Chief I took precautions. I have on hand a three week stash of vodka, tonic water, wine, beer, cigars, and coconut rum edibles. In other words, all the basic food groups. Indeed, I'm ready to hunker down, despite the politically motivated optimism of Dan Patrick and Jerry Falwell. Hey, sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, my bar is open, however, for now anyway, all the rest of you are on your own.
sic vita est
3-24-20
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