There are some strange things going on during these days of angst, confinement, and in some places, extreme anger. How else do you explain the President of the United States dragging the My Pillow guy, Mike Lindell on stage during a press conference billed as a coronavirus update?
Lindell is a recovering crack head and high profile fan of Don Trump, but it remains unclear what he brings to the table when it comes to the battle against COVID-19. Unfortunately for many of us who were watching the presser on CNN his particular expertise will remain a mystery since the network cut away from his appearance about four words into it. After all the dude has reportedly spent nearly $100 million on TV infomercials, so why give him free air time?
Besides, another connoisseur of meth has found his way into the national consciousness. Mr. Joseph Maldonado-Passage is the subject of a Netflix docu-series which is currently available for viewing. Maldonado-Passage, who in the past has run for Governor of Oklahoma and President of the United States, is better known by his stage name, Joe Exotic.
Down in Wynnewood, OK Mr. Exotic owned and operated a place called, among other things. the G.W. Zoo. The big stars of the place were a large number of lions and tigers. He did have some alligators once, but most of them boiled to death when a giant fire took down their compound a few years ago. The fire remains unexplained, as does Joe Exotic and the people he associates with.
Mr. Exotic, who is shown in the series marrying two different gentlemen at the same time--known as a throuple--became the focus of investigations and action by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Also one, Carole Baskin, who PETA claims runs an, "ethical," big cat compound in Florida. In other words she keeps lions and tigers in cages too, but according to the organization, doesn't exploit them.
Joe is doing 22 years in the joint right now for hiring a guy to kill Ms. Baskin. The hit supposedly cost Exotic three grand, but alas the man who was supposed to pull it off took the cash, went to Florida, blew it on nightclubs, booze, and who knows what else, but never came near Baskin.
Other federal charges against Exotic include selling lemurs, which is against the law, and killing five tigers with a shotgun because he needed room for more, smaller, tigers. Proving he was a true renaissance man Joe also produced his own country-western music albums and videos. In addition, during his presidential run, he handed out condoms to voters with his photo on the packages along with the advice to, "Feel free to use them anytime."
In another twist to the sordid tale, the target of the murder for hire plot, Carole Baskin is suspected, mostly by Joe and his boys, of killing her first husband Don Lewis. He vanished without a trace in 1997. According to Big Joe, Lewis will never be found because Baskin murdered him, chopped up his body, then fed the remains to one of her tigers.
This whole exercise in debauchery is a testament to how bored we really are these days. "Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness," is the highest rated series in Netflix's history.
Meanwhile, on a more serious note, the governors of Ohio, Texas, and Oklahoma have used the spread of COVID-19 to, temporarily anyway, outlaw abortions. All three chief executives have declared abortions fall under the heading of, "elective surgeries," which have been blocked in their states during the current crisis. In addition, Oklahoma's Kevin Stitt is claiming the ban will also free up needed personal protection equipment such as surgical masks and gowns.
A scant 36 hours before he began locking down huge swaths of the state, Stitt posted a photo of himself and his family on Twitter enjoying dinner at an OKC eatery. In the text of the now deleted Tweet he urged Oklahomans to get out and enjoy themselves at their favorite restaurants and bars.
Proving progressives can play the same game, California Governor, Gavin Newsom has declared gun stores in his state are non-essential businesses. As such he ordered each and every one of them to close. The NRA immediately sued, but as of right now, if you are on the left bank, anywhere between Mexico and the Oregon line, your testosterone replacement therapy is unavailable..
Yes, it is beyond weird and in many locales deadly. As hospital staffs are being overwhelmed some on Twitter and other social media claim the plague is a massive hoax. Our whole blue ball and everyone on it has become, to many, part of a vast conspiracy. This as, Mike Lindell tells a world wide audience Donald Trump can save us all and Joe, fucking, Exotic rules American pay for view TV.
Ladies and gentlemen the world isn't dealing with the apocalypse. We have, however, ended up stuck in a play written by Franz Kafka.
sic vita est
3-31-20
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Saturday, March 28, 2020
The Bell Tolls For Tom Coburn
Yes, the bell eventually tolls for everyone as we all know, but these days it feels like it never stops. In fact in this the year of our Lord 2020, it is easy to think in many locales there will soon be platoons of ominous figures dressed in hooded robes roaming the streets calling for us to, "Bring out the dead."
Today we found out that among the recently deceased is former U.S. Senator Tom Coburn. COVID-19 didn't get him, but rather it was the cancer he had been battling since 2013. It was the same cancer which caused him to resign from the senate in 2015.
Tom Coburn was raised in my old home town, Muskogee, Oklahoma. He was the scion of what might be considered local royalty. His father, Orin was an optician and the founder of Coburn Optical Industries. Later the old man would give Oral Roberts University enough cash that Roberts named the institute's short lived law school after him. Earlier, on a much smaller scale, he sponsored the first Little League baseball team I played on. We were called the, Coburn Rockets.
Tom hit the House of Representatives in 1995. To say he was right wing is an understatement. Before he was done he would do battle with House Speaker, Newt Gingrich because he thought Gingrich was leading the GOP too far to the left.
Yeah. Let that sink in for a few seconds.
The first time the Congressman made national news was in 1997. When NBC decided to air the movie, "Schindler's List," uncut he threw a hissy fit. He claimed the film, which is a devastating tale about the Holocaust, was unfit to be put on network TV. He used as his excuse a scene which showed nude female prisoners being herded into a concentration camp shower room.
Others weren't so sure that was his true motive. Years later when he was in the Senate he deepened this lingering suspicion when he inexplicably sat on the judicial nomination of Robert Bacharach. Bacharach, who is Jewish, had already gotten the go ahead from Oklahoma Senator, Jim Inhofe. Coburn initially claimed he was waiting on the Senate Judicial Committee to vet Bacharach. Committee chair, Patrick Leahy, however, claimed that was bullshit. He pointed out that Senate rules mandated the committee couldn't start its vetting process until both Coburn and Inhofe gave their okay.
In both instances Tom Coburn--a fervent Southern Baptist--ended up frantically doing the political two step in order to get out of the way of public outrage and ugly, but valid questions about his attitude toward Jews.
Beyond the questions of anti Semitism Coburn's politics were so extreme they sometimes landed in that nether region where the far right meets the ultra left. Current presidential candidate Bernie Sanders likes to brag about how he voted against funding the war in Iraq. One of his few allies in that endeavor was Tom Coburn. Later he was quoted as saying, "I will tell you personally that I think it was probably a mistake going to Iraq."
Locally he stepped into serious trouble twice. Once the largest paper in the state, The Oklahoman, ran a photo of him hugging Barack Obama--they had entered the Senate at the same time a few years earlier and become friends during orientation for freshman. The image drove the people we'd eventually come to call MAGAS utterly berserk. The second, after the Newtown, CT massacre of first graders and teachers, he switched his position on universal background checks for gun purchases. The NRA and its supporters were immediately enraged enough to promise they'd defeat him when he ran for re-election. They had a problem though. Coburn had already announced he was retiring.
Conservative pundit and activist, Bill Kristol claims he tried to recruit the former Senator to run for President as an independent in 2016. The idea was to promote a, "principled and moral," conservative as an alternative to Donald Trump. According to Kristol, Coburn considered it briefly before deciding his health was declining too quickly.
If true that would have been a three way race for the ages. Although he wouldn't have won the odds are he would have cost Trump the White House. Alas, we can only dream of what might have been.
Tom Coburn repeatedly voted against bills which would aid people with disabilities and he was vehemently anti gay rights. He said he was in favor of a limited federal government, yet he thought it was proper for that government to interfere in women's health issues.
In the end, however, when interviewed by The Oklahoman after it ran that chummy photo of him and Obama he said, "You need to separate the difference in political philosophy versus friendship. How better to influence somebody than love them?"
I didn't know Tom Coburn--I certainly didn't like his politics--but those words alone are enough to make me respect him in this petty and savage age of Donald Trump.
Yep, that's how bad it is.
sic vita est
3-28-20
Today we found out that among the recently deceased is former U.S. Senator Tom Coburn. COVID-19 didn't get him, but rather it was the cancer he had been battling since 2013. It was the same cancer which caused him to resign from the senate in 2015.
Tom Coburn was raised in my old home town, Muskogee, Oklahoma. He was the scion of what might be considered local royalty. His father, Orin was an optician and the founder of Coburn Optical Industries. Later the old man would give Oral Roberts University enough cash that Roberts named the institute's short lived law school after him. Earlier, on a much smaller scale, he sponsored the first Little League baseball team I played on. We were called the, Coburn Rockets.
Tom hit the House of Representatives in 1995. To say he was right wing is an understatement. Before he was done he would do battle with House Speaker, Newt Gingrich because he thought Gingrich was leading the GOP too far to the left.
Yeah. Let that sink in for a few seconds.
The first time the Congressman made national news was in 1997. When NBC decided to air the movie, "Schindler's List," uncut he threw a hissy fit. He claimed the film, which is a devastating tale about the Holocaust, was unfit to be put on network TV. He used as his excuse a scene which showed nude female prisoners being herded into a concentration camp shower room.
Others weren't so sure that was his true motive. Years later when he was in the Senate he deepened this lingering suspicion when he inexplicably sat on the judicial nomination of Robert Bacharach. Bacharach, who is Jewish, had already gotten the go ahead from Oklahoma Senator, Jim Inhofe. Coburn initially claimed he was waiting on the Senate Judicial Committee to vet Bacharach. Committee chair, Patrick Leahy, however, claimed that was bullshit. He pointed out that Senate rules mandated the committee couldn't start its vetting process until both Coburn and Inhofe gave their okay.
In both instances Tom Coburn--a fervent Southern Baptist--ended up frantically doing the political two step in order to get out of the way of public outrage and ugly, but valid questions about his attitude toward Jews.
Beyond the questions of anti Semitism Coburn's politics were so extreme they sometimes landed in that nether region where the far right meets the ultra left. Current presidential candidate Bernie Sanders likes to brag about how he voted against funding the war in Iraq. One of his few allies in that endeavor was Tom Coburn. Later he was quoted as saying, "I will tell you personally that I think it was probably a mistake going to Iraq."
Locally he stepped into serious trouble twice. Once the largest paper in the state, The Oklahoman, ran a photo of him hugging Barack Obama--they had entered the Senate at the same time a few years earlier and become friends during orientation for freshman. The image drove the people we'd eventually come to call MAGAS utterly berserk. The second, after the Newtown, CT massacre of first graders and teachers, he switched his position on universal background checks for gun purchases. The NRA and its supporters were immediately enraged enough to promise they'd defeat him when he ran for re-election. They had a problem though. Coburn had already announced he was retiring.
Conservative pundit and activist, Bill Kristol claims he tried to recruit the former Senator to run for President as an independent in 2016. The idea was to promote a, "principled and moral," conservative as an alternative to Donald Trump. According to Kristol, Coburn considered it briefly before deciding his health was declining too quickly.
If true that would have been a three way race for the ages. Although he wouldn't have won the odds are he would have cost Trump the White House. Alas, we can only dream of what might have been.
Tom Coburn repeatedly voted against bills which would aid people with disabilities and he was vehemently anti gay rights. He said he was in favor of a limited federal government, yet he thought it was proper for that government to interfere in women's health issues.
In the end, however, when interviewed by The Oklahoman after it ran that chummy photo of him and Obama he said, "You need to separate the difference in political philosophy versus friendship. How better to influence somebody than love them?"
I didn't know Tom Coburn--I certainly didn't like his politics--but those words alone are enough to make me respect him in this petty and savage age of Donald Trump.
Yep, that's how bad it is.
sic vita est
3-28-20
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Simple Cynics, the Fu Manchu Scenario, the Sino-Main Stream Media Connection, and Kamikaze Grand Parents
Americans have always been a hysterical lot, prone to panic and conspiracy theories so bizarre no science fiction writer could, or would put them to paper. These days such behavior has been amplified almost beyond comprehension.
According to a Pew Research Center poll released last week, 62% of adults in the United States believe the media is exaggerating the risk of catching the virus known as COVID-19. Beaches in Florida and California have been swarming with people, many of them students on spring break. Most of those crowds have a complete disdain for the dangers posed by the disease. The prevailing attitude being, "If I catch it, I catch it." What escapes them is the other side of that cold coin. It is, "If I spread it, I spread it." Or, to put it another way, fuck Mom and Dad, not to mention Nana and Grandpa.
It goes further than simple cynics with delusions of immortality though. The Washington Post quoted a retired chemistry teacher in Kansas who said, "I'd like to know how it got out of China." Robert Kramer, 84 of Wellsville told the Post reporter he saw a, "Chinese expert on YouTube," who said the bug escaped from a biological warfare plant located near the Wuhan meat market experts believe was ground zero for the global pandemic. In some crass corners this is known as, The Fu Manchu Scenario.
Kramer, however, wasn't dismissive of a possible Sino-Main Stream Media connection. He went on to say, "I just wonder how much of this is being done to besmirch our president. We've had three years of constant criticism. If somebody shot a goose in Greenland out of season they'd blame Trump."
Probably not Bob, but, let's face it, the old boy did try to buy Greenland not that long ago. When the Danes said no, he threw a hissy fit then cancelled a trip to meet with the Danish Prime Minister--not exactly presidential behavior.
Brother Kramer may have been a tad off with his analogy, but he struck at the heart of the conspiratorial matter.
While every college and university in the land is going to online classes, Jerry Falwell Jr. has called on Liberty University students to return to campus so they can enjoy each other's company in the dorms, "they've already paid for." Falwell, an ardent Trump fan, told the media, "Thank God we have the best president we possibly could to deal with a crisis like this." Then he threw in a line about the democrats being willing to destroy the economy in order to defeat his man, The Big Orange Guy. The hint being, the virus is just a tool to further the plot.
In the same vein the republican Lt. Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick told Fox News propagandist Tucker Carlson, grandparents should get out there to stimulate business at the risk of their lives. This act of literal self sacrifice should be performed, according to Patrick, so their grandkids can inherit a vibrant economy.
Yeah, you go ahead, Mr. Lt. Governor, I'll follow you out the door as soon as I can. Just call me from the local mall when you get there.
Meanwhile, Donald J. Trump is getting edgy with whole situation. Lately he has been on Twitter saying things like, the shutdown is a cure worse than the disease and America wasn't built to have businesses closed for a prolonged period of time. He is now insisting he wants everyone open by Easter, April 12th. What he didn't mention is six of those shuttered establishments are among his most profitable resort/hotels.
Yes, many have irons in this fire, including the occupant of the White House. The only question is what God awful statistic will the captains of capitalism consider, acceptable casualties?
Obviously we're about to find out.
Finally, the Mayor of Oklahoma City, one of the few republicans in the state possessing a brain, just issued a proclamation which orders all, "non essential businesses," in town to close. The only question being, other than pharmacies and grocery stores, which businesses are considered essential. That word comes tomorrow.
Not to worry though, at least for a while. Thanks in part to the complete incompetence of the Commander in Chief I took precautions. I have on hand a three week stash of vodka, tonic water, wine, beer, cigars, and coconut rum edibles. In other words, all the basic food groups. Indeed, I'm ready to hunker down, despite the politically motivated optimism of Dan Patrick and Jerry Falwell. Hey, sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, my bar is open, however, for now anyway, all the rest of you are on your own.
sic vita est
3-24-20
According to a Pew Research Center poll released last week, 62% of adults in the United States believe the media is exaggerating the risk of catching the virus known as COVID-19. Beaches in Florida and California have been swarming with people, many of them students on spring break. Most of those crowds have a complete disdain for the dangers posed by the disease. The prevailing attitude being, "If I catch it, I catch it." What escapes them is the other side of that cold coin. It is, "If I spread it, I spread it." Or, to put it another way, fuck Mom and Dad, not to mention Nana and Grandpa.
It goes further than simple cynics with delusions of immortality though. The Washington Post quoted a retired chemistry teacher in Kansas who said, "I'd like to know how it got out of China." Robert Kramer, 84 of Wellsville told the Post reporter he saw a, "Chinese expert on YouTube," who said the bug escaped from a biological warfare plant located near the Wuhan meat market experts believe was ground zero for the global pandemic. In some crass corners this is known as, The Fu Manchu Scenario.
Kramer, however, wasn't dismissive of a possible Sino-Main Stream Media connection. He went on to say, "I just wonder how much of this is being done to besmirch our president. We've had three years of constant criticism. If somebody shot a goose in Greenland out of season they'd blame Trump."
Probably not Bob, but, let's face it, the old boy did try to buy Greenland not that long ago. When the Danes said no, he threw a hissy fit then cancelled a trip to meet with the Danish Prime Minister--not exactly presidential behavior.
Brother Kramer may have been a tad off with his analogy, but he struck at the heart of the conspiratorial matter.
While every college and university in the land is going to online classes, Jerry Falwell Jr. has called on Liberty University students to return to campus so they can enjoy each other's company in the dorms, "they've already paid for." Falwell, an ardent Trump fan, told the media, "Thank God we have the best president we possibly could to deal with a crisis like this." Then he threw in a line about the democrats being willing to destroy the economy in order to defeat his man, The Big Orange Guy. The hint being, the virus is just a tool to further the plot.
In the same vein the republican Lt. Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick told Fox News propagandist Tucker Carlson, grandparents should get out there to stimulate business at the risk of their lives. This act of literal self sacrifice should be performed, according to Patrick, so their grandkids can inherit a vibrant economy.
Yeah, you go ahead, Mr. Lt. Governor, I'll follow you out the door as soon as I can. Just call me from the local mall when you get there.
Meanwhile, Donald J. Trump is getting edgy with whole situation. Lately he has been on Twitter saying things like, the shutdown is a cure worse than the disease and America wasn't built to have businesses closed for a prolonged period of time. He is now insisting he wants everyone open by Easter, April 12th. What he didn't mention is six of those shuttered establishments are among his most profitable resort/hotels.
Yes, many have irons in this fire, including the occupant of the White House. The only question is what God awful statistic will the captains of capitalism consider, acceptable casualties?
Obviously we're about to find out.
Finally, the Mayor of Oklahoma City, one of the few republicans in the state possessing a brain, just issued a proclamation which orders all, "non essential businesses," in town to close. The only question being, other than pharmacies and grocery stores, which businesses are considered essential. That word comes tomorrow.
Not to worry though, at least for a while. Thanks in part to the complete incompetence of the Commander in Chief I took precautions. I have on hand a three week stash of vodka, tonic water, wine, beer, cigars, and coconut rum edibles. In other words, all the basic food groups. Indeed, I'm ready to hunker down, despite the politically motivated optimism of Dan Patrick and Jerry Falwell. Hey, sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, my bar is open, however, for now anyway, all the rest of you are on your own.
sic vita est
3-24-20
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Pastor Tony Spell, Dictator Law, And a Politically Motivated Virus
To paraphrase the late Hunter S. Thompson, "When the going gets weird, the really weird go stupid. How else can you explain the Reverend, Tony Spell of Baton Rouge, Louisiana?
A few days ago Governor John Bel Edwards issued a ban on gatherings of more than 50 people at a time in the state due to the spread of the coronavirus. That was right before the Big Orange Kahuna in Washington recommended no more than ten people should get together. All this because it had suddenly dawned on the President of these United States he couldn't lie and con his way out of a deadly pandemic.
Pastor Spell, who leads a five campus church called Life Tabernacle was having none of it. In his words no, "dictator law," would prevent his congregation from worshiping and presumably tithing. On Tuesday night Spell held a service with an undisclosed number of congregants although it was apparently over 50 because the cops showed up to enforce the Governor's ban.
One of the officers present told Brother Spell if he tried to hold another large service the National Guard would intervene. That was news to Louisiana National Guard Col. Ed Bush. He immediately issued a statement which said, "The National Guard has not been tasked with enforcing any of the curfew, social distancing, or meeting requirements set by the Governor. Our focus right now is completely with helping state agencies with preparedness and medical readiness."
In other words, I don't want my guys pictured in the media blocking the doors of a church with fixed bayonets no matter how much of an idiot the reverend is.
Hints of the coming trouble began last week just after Edwards issued the proclamation. Louisiana republican representative, Clay Higgins sent the Governor a letter which in part read, "I agree that all our constituents and religious leaders should follow the recommendation of the Centers of Disease Control. However, the decision to gather should be the choice of the individual, or institution and not a mandate by any government entity. The state has no authority to enforce this proclamation, nor any ban on worship."
God love politicians. They can say so many conflicting things in a single breath.
Reverend Spell, on the other hand, cut straight to the chase. According to him, "The virus, we believe, is politically motivated," he told a local media outlet. "We hold our religious rights dear and we are going to assemble no matter what someone says."
That's right ladies and gentlemen. All those little invisible round balls with the squirmy things sticking out of them are the tool of liberal elitists meant to destroy our ability to worship God and pay for the new swimming pool at the parsonage. Now, let us pray this bug away.
Okay, maybe it isn't that bad, but you have to be a tad suspicious after Spell told the press his Sunday congregation, which numbers around 1,000 souls, will be given, "anointed handkerchiefs with healing virtues."
At this moment the state of Louisiana has 257 confirmed cases of COVID-19. Four people have died from it. And, while not wanting to doubt the effectiveness of those anointed handkerchiefs it is fairly safe to say the number of sick and dead will soon increase despite their distribution.
You see, the horrible truth is, these days, religious healing virtues just can't compete with science. Something Tony Spell is going to learn pretty quickly.
3-19-20
A few days ago Governor John Bel Edwards issued a ban on gatherings of more than 50 people at a time in the state due to the spread of the coronavirus. That was right before the Big Orange Kahuna in Washington recommended no more than ten people should get together. All this because it had suddenly dawned on the President of these United States he couldn't lie and con his way out of a deadly pandemic.
Pastor Spell, who leads a five campus church called Life Tabernacle was having none of it. In his words no, "dictator law," would prevent his congregation from worshiping and presumably tithing. On Tuesday night Spell held a service with an undisclosed number of congregants although it was apparently over 50 because the cops showed up to enforce the Governor's ban.
One of the officers present told Brother Spell if he tried to hold another large service the National Guard would intervene. That was news to Louisiana National Guard Col. Ed Bush. He immediately issued a statement which said, "The National Guard has not been tasked with enforcing any of the curfew, social distancing, or meeting requirements set by the Governor. Our focus right now is completely with helping state agencies with preparedness and medical readiness."
In other words, I don't want my guys pictured in the media blocking the doors of a church with fixed bayonets no matter how much of an idiot the reverend is.
Hints of the coming trouble began last week just after Edwards issued the proclamation. Louisiana republican representative, Clay Higgins sent the Governor a letter which in part read, "I agree that all our constituents and religious leaders should follow the recommendation of the Centers of Disease Control. However, the decision to gather should be the choice of the individual, or institution and not a mandate by any government entity. The state has no authority to enforce this proclamation, nor any ban on worship."
God love politicians. They can say so many conflicting things in a single breath.
Reverend Spell, on the other hand, cut straight to the chase. According to him, "The virus, we believe, is politically motivated," he told a local media outlet. "We hold our religious rights dear and we are going to assemble no matter what someone says."
That's right ladies and gentlemen. All those little invisible round balls with the squirmy things sticking out of them are the tool of liberal elitists meant to destroy our ability to worship God and pay for the new swimming pool at the parsonage. Now, let us pray this bug away.
Okay, maybe it isn't that bad, but you have to be a tad suspicious after Spell told the press his Sunday congregation, which numbers around 1,000 souls, will be given, "anointed handkerchiefs with healing virtues."
At this moment the state of Louisiana has 257 confirmed cases of COVID-19. Four people have died from it. And, while not wanting to doubt the effectiveness of those anointed handkerchiefs it is fairly safe to say the number of sick and dead will soon increase despite their distribution.
You see, the horrible truth is, these days, religious healing virtues just can't compete with science. Something Tony Spell is going to learn pretty quickly.
3-19-20
Saturday, March 14, 2020
COVID-19: Who is Tested and Who Isn't, the Great Toilet Paper Crisis, Moonshine Hand Sanitizer, and the Bookie Apocalypse
Joe Biden says he hasn't been tested for COVID-19. Bernie Sanders hasn't said one way or the other. Typically, Donald Trump went from, "I don't need to be tested," to, "I have been tested and the results are pending." The latter statement came a scant few hours after his physician issued a letter to the press which also said Mr. Trump, "didn't need to be tested."
In the spirit of full disclosure I will admit I have not been tested either. It really isn't my fault though. The local media is reporting, at the moment, there are only 500 test kits available for the entire population of Oklahoma. That would leave the state health department approximately 3.94 million short. It is a line I am unwilling to wait in.
Earlier today my wife and I made our weekly trip to our local Homeland Grocery store. We found out one thing for certain. It is obvious Americans believe that in a pinch you can eat toilet paper because it was nearly all gone. So was the peanut butter, canned soup, breakfast cereal, bread, and bacon. I didn't include bottled hand sanitizer or wipes on the list because those are a given.
However I did talk with a friend earlier who had hit his local liquor store and bought four big jugs of grain alcohol. He assured me another of his pals, a doctor, had given him a formula for home made hand sanitizer which requires large amounts of it. Evidently the word of this questionable chemical manufacturing process is out, because the four bottles were the last in stock and the price, he said, was criminally exorbitant.
Let's face it the United States is suddenly resembling something out of a movie. Right now the only things missing are zombies shuffling down the streets looking for hot meals. Luckily we haven't reached that point yet, but you wouldn't know it according to my bookie.
As we know all U.S. sporting events have been called off, including the NCAA basketball championship, the greatest win, or go home tournament in the nation, if not the world. (Sorry World Cup fans, your tourney, at least in the first round, is not a one and done affair.)
Indeed, the virus has put my man in dire straights. "Good God," he told me, "I might have to go out and look for a fucking job." I assured him he could probably hook up with one of the many political campaigns currently operating, but he adamantly refused. "Not even I will stoop that low," he said, "I do have some scruples you know."
I lost it for a moment, "You mean like that time you claimed you lost the parlay card where I nailed eight out of eight teams?" "Let it go," he said, "that was a long time ago. Don't be such a sore loser. Besides I let you bet your lousy $50 bucks for free the next week."
This did not help since the next week he was talking about Army smoked the spread against Oklahoma. "I hope you end up shoveling fries at a McDonalds you useless bastard," I screamed. Then I hung up. He hasn't called back, probably because he knows I won't take his odds on which of the three old white fuckers will keel over from a stroke before the conventions.
Yes, the bookmaking industry is in trouble. Handicapping the ponies is a dying art and thanks to off track betting sites there are precious few searching out freelancers like him. And that's assuming the tracks remain open, which probably won't happen.
Even the corporate sites in Vegas must be in trouble, although thanks to the suckers in the casinos those losses can be covered. Well, at least as long as the casino crowds continue to show up, which is an iffy proposition as the infection rate continues to climb.
"These are the times which try men's souls, " Tom Paine wrote once in a different context. Little did he know how right he'd be two plus centuries later.
Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is most definitely open.
3-14-20
In the spirit of full disclosure I will admit I have not been tested either. It really isn't my fault though. The local media is reporting, at the moment, there are only 500 test kits available for the entire population of Oklahoma. That would leave the state health department approximately 3.94 million short. It is a line I am unwilling to wait in.
Earlier today my wife and I made our weekly trip to our local Homeland Grocery store. We found out one thing for certain. It is obvious Americans believe that in a pinch you can eat toilet paper because it was nearly all gone. So was the peanut butter, canned soup, breakfast cereal, bread, and bacon. I didn't include bottled hand sanitizer or wipes on the list because those are a given.
However I did talk with a friend earlier who had hit his local liquor store and bought four big jugs of grain alcohol. He assured me another of his pals, a doctor, had given him a formula for home made hand sanitizer which requires large amounts of it. Evidently the word of this questionable chemical manufacturing process is out, because the four bottles were the last in stock and the price, he said, was criminally exorbitant.
Let's face it the United States is suddenly resembling something out of a movie. Right now the only things missing are zombies shuffling down the streets looking for hot meals. Luckily we haven't reached that point yet, but you wouldn't know it according to my bookie.
As we know all U.S. sporting events have been called off, including the NCAA basketball championship, the greatest win, or go home tournament in the nation, if not the world. (Sorry World Cup fans, your tourney, at least in the first round, is not a one and done affair.)
Indeed, the virus has put my man in dire straights. "Good God," he told me, "I might have to go out and look for a fucking job." I assured him he could probably hook up with one of the many political campaigns currently operating, but he adamantly refused. "Not even I will stoop that low," he said, "I do have some scruples you know."
I lost it for a moment, "You mean like that time you claimed you lost the parlay card where I nailed eight out of eight teams?" "Let it go," he said, "that was a long time ago. Don't be such a sore loser. Besides I let you bet your lousy $50 bucks for free the next week."
This did not help since the next week he was talking about Army smoked the spread against Oklahoma. "I hope you end up shoveling fries at a McDonalds you useless bastard," I screamed. Then I hung up. He hasn't called back, probably because he knows I won't take his odds on which of the three old white fuckers will keel over from a stroke before the conventions.
Yes, the bookmaking industry is in trouble. Handicapping the ponies is a dying art and thanks to off track betting sites there are precious few searching out freelancers like him. And that's assuming the tracks remain open, which probably won't happen.
Even the corporate sites in Vegas must be in trouble, although thanks to the suckers in the casinos those losses can be covered. Well, at least as long as the casino crowds continue to show up, which is an iffy proposition as the infection rate continues to climb.
"These are the times which try men's souls, " Tom Paine wrote once in a different context. Little did he know how right he'd be two plus centuries later.
Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is most definitely open.
3-14-20
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
The Dark Side of Bernie Howls
The Sanders social media push began in the middle of the night, early Tuesday. Whether he personally knew about what was going on will remain up to debate. We know he has a suspicious history of looking the other way when his supporters go off their collective nut, then denying knowledge of what shows up on phones and other devices everywhere.
Indeed, there is another, darker, side to the old, yet excitable, socialist. His loyalists can be as mean and ugly, not to mention just as willing to spew disinformation as the most vile Trump propagandist. How else do you account for a tweet yesterday found under the heading #BernieSurge which promised everyone, "latest polls," showed the Vermont Senator pulling ahead of Joe Biden in Michigan? The post was either a complete lie, or a desperate cry for help, because after the ballots were counted it turned out Biden carried 82 of the state's 83 counties.
The second and more savage hash tag that trended on Twitter yesterday was #BidensCognitiveDecline. Former green party presidential candidate, Dr. Jill Stein was the main player there, repeatedly posting that former VP Joe Biden is in beginning stages of dementia, a fact which the main stream media and democratic establishment are covering up. Stein either had nothing to do all day, or allowed some automated system to tweet for her because the posts under her name came by the bushel every few minutes. Others tweeted this twin cabal was committing an act of cruelty by pushing Biden, who is obviously a mentally deficient old man. Some pointed to Biden's reaction at a Michigan auto plant when an employee accused him of wanting to take away everyone's guns. Sudden outbursts of anger and obscenities, they wrote, are among the first signs of Alzheimer's Disease.
Elsewhere on Twitter, a couple of people who had their young children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School praised the former VP for saying the accusation was, "bull shit." They went so far as to thank Mr. Biden for calling the man a, "horse's ass." As one of them said, it was about time people started calling out NRA types for their lies in no uncertain terms.
After the returns began to roll in and it was apparent Sanders was taking it on the chin for a second week in a row, dozens of, Berners, promised to quit the democratic party and to remain utterly disillusioned with the election process forever. In other words they threw a tantrum more suited to the current resident of the White House. Today, #DemExit2020 is trending and their rage continues.
Hidden in all this chaos are a couple of facts which should ease the pain, if they are interested. First this race isn't over. Biden is at 858 delegates, still less than half needed to win. Sanders is at 709, less than 150 behind. States rich with delegates including New York, Wisconsin, and Ohio are still left, among others. Instead of rending their clothes and pounding their chests, if these people are truly dedicated to their candidate, they need to keep working their asses off for him.
Second, and more importantly, if I'm on the Senator's campaign working those places which have yet to hold their primaries, I would be stressing to democrats one point lost on the media. Joe Biden's lead has been built by winning states the party will never carry in November. The former VP won in Oklahoma, South Carolina, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, and Tennessee. That is a sea of red come November. Hey, it's better than quoting some medical quack like Jill Stein.
Yes, the game is still afoot, despite all the whining. Although, Senator Sanders obviously has major problems, especially with African American voters and what is left of the white working class, the nomination is still winnable. He apparently has large support among Hispanics and young people, although he must roust the latter demographic off their smart phones and into the polling booths. They certainly haven't shown up in the numbers he needs so far.
Just stop blaming, as many on Twitter did, The Boomers. It's not our fault a rigid ideologue and his revolution has limited appeal. Look at me, my candidate quit two days after I voted for her and she was nearly as far left as he is.
In other words, grow up fuckers, dig in, and carry on. If you quit everything like many of you have sworn to do the nightmare will continue. Is that really how petty you are?
3-11-20.
Indeed, there is another, darker, side to the old, yet excitable, socialist. His loyalists can be as mean and ugly, not to mention just as willing to spew disinformation as the most vile Trump propagandist. How else do you account for a tweet yesterday found under the heading #BernieSurge which promised everyone, "latest polls," showed the Vermont Senator pulling ahead of Joe Biden in Michigan? The post was either a complete lie, or a desperate cry for help, because after the ballots were counted it turned out Biden carried 82 of the state's 83 counties.
The second and more savage hash tag that trended on Twitter yesterday was #BidensCognitiveDecline. Former green party presidential candidate, Dr. Jill Stein was the main player there, repeatedly posting that former VP Joe Biden is in beginning stages of dementia, a fact which the main stream media and democratic establishment are covering up. Stein either had nothing to do all day, or allowed some automated system to tweet for her because the posts under her name came by the bushel every few minutes. Others tweeted this twin cabal was committing an act of cruelty by pushing Biden, who is obviously a mentally deficient old man. Some pointed to Biden's reaction at a Michigan auto plant when an employee accused him of wanting to take away everyone's guns. Sudden outbursts of anger and obscenities, they wrote, are among the first signs of Alzheimer's Disease.
Elsewhere on Twitter, a couple of people who had their young children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School praised the former VP for saying the accusation was, "bull shit." They went so far as to thank Mr. Biden for calling the man a, "horse's ass." As one of them said, it was about time people started calling out NRA types for their lies in no uncertain terms.
After the returns began to roll in and it was apparent Sanders was taking it on the chin for a second week in a row, dozens of, Berners, promised to quit the democratic party and to remain utterly disillusioned with the election process forever. In other words they threw a tantrum more suited to the current resident of the White House. Today, #DemExit2020 is trending and their rage continues.
Hidden in all this chaos are a couple of facts which should ease the pain, if they are interested. First this race isn't over. Biden is at 858 delegates, still less than half needed to win. Sanders is at 709, less than 150 behind. States rich with delegates including New York, Wisconsin, and Ohio are still left, among others. Instead of rending their clothes and pounding their chests, if these people are truly dedicated to their candidate, they need to keep working their asses off for him.
Second, and more importantly, if I'm on the Senator's campaign working those places which have yet to hold their primaries, I would be stressing to democrats one point lost on the media. Joe Biden's lead has been built by winning states the party will never carry in November. The former VP won in Oklahoma, South Carolina, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, and Tennessee. That is a sea of red come November. Hey, it's better than quoting some medical quack like Jill Stein.
Yes, the game is still afoot, despite all the whining. Although, Senator Sanders obviously has major problems, especially with African American voters and what is left of the white working class, the nomination is still winnable. He apparently has large support among Hispanics and young people, although he must roust the latter demographic off their smart phones and into the polling booths. They certainly haven't shown up in the numbers he needs so far.
Just stop blaming, as many on Twitter did, The Boomers. It's not our fault a rigid ideologue and his revolution has limited appeal. Look at me, my candidate quit two days after I voted for her and she was nearly as far left as he is.
In other words, grow up fuckers, dig in, and carry on. If you quit everything like many of you have sworn to do the nightmare will continue. Is that really how petty you are?
3-11-20.
Friday, March 6, 2020
For Democrats, the Game is at Last Afoot
In the beginning the list of democrats wanting to run Donald Trump out of the White House was huge and many times mystifying. In fact for a while it seemed like every democrat in the nation wanted a piece of the action. Included in the number were obscure Governors, members of Congress, business people, and the occasional dive bar patron loaded up on shots of McCormick's vodka.
It is hard to fathom now, but the first televised democratic debate featured so many candidates CNN had to divide them in half, then hold the event over two nights. As the field continued to grow the Democratic National Committee went so far as to set up arbitrary rules about who was viable enough to be on stage. Even with the restrictions though, the debates possessed an eerie resemblance to speed dating events.
How else can you describe panels which included Tim Ryan, Jay Inslee, John Hickenlooper, and Marianne--love will prevail--Williamson? Even serious candidates with heavy creds such as Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Julian Castro, and Cory Booker were reduced to raising their hands like second graders while begging the moderators to, "Pick me, pick me." Indeed, it was as if there was a sign in the wings which read, "Abandon all dignity ye who enter here."
We are beyond all that now as what might be the last great battle for the soul of the democratic party has officially begun. The whip smart Mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg is gone. Elizabeth Warren, with all her debate savvy and detailed plans is also gone. Mike Bloomberg along with his billions has succumbed as well. Most of the rest, including some you thought would have done better didn't even make it to Iowa.
What democrats are left with is a 78 year old socialist with a heart condition who promises everyone the moon, stars, and all that is in between. He faces a 77 year old former Vice President who at best is a political pragmatist and at worst is willing to sacrifice the most hallowed democratic ideals in the name of compromise.
Bernie Sanders is the great idealist. Medical care, he says, will be free for everyone, even if everyone, as proven by a culinary union in Las Vegas, doesn't want it. Student loans will be forgiven. Wages for low income workers will be hiked. The world will glow as billionaires pay and pay, then pay some more. He hasn't a clue how he will get any of it passed in congress, especially if the GOP holds on to even one house, but by God, America will become a workers and student paradise.
His base is so completely fervid they verge on the same type of maniacal behavior as Donald Trump's. To them, the people who oppose their man--especially other democrats--are committing sins against humanity and worse, they're no better than The Big Orange Guy. Yes, only Bernie Sanders is a pure progressive and rigid, uncompromising purity is everything.
Biden, on the other hand, has a proven history of snatching defeat from victory, or at least mis-speaking so badly it is, at times, easy to speculate that the first stages of dementia have set in. He also has a history of being touchy feely with women who don't welcome it. In addition he and his son, Hunter, are going to get hammered constantly from this moment forward by the Trump machine over their connection to the Ukrainian energy company, Burisma.
However, Joe Biden enjoys the support of massive numbers of African Americans, something Bernie Sanders doesn't. This support was key to his win in South Carolina and all across the south on Super Tuesday. So much so, the Senator from Vermont has apparently given up on the region. Just yesterday he cancelled an appearance in Mississippi in order to spend more time in Michigan. It is hard to remember any democrat winning the nomination who didn't have the support of that demographic.
So now democrats are faced with the clearest choice possible in this nomination process and that choice could well define the party for years to come. Move to the left with Bernie Sanders, or to the center with Joe Biden. Both campaigns claim they are the most capable of defeating Donald Trump. Both sets of supporters are running wild on social media saying if the nominee isn't their guy Trump will be handed a second term.
The real question here is how will the supporters of the loser react after the convention. Will they support the eventual winner, or will they sit on their hands and simply not vote in November? If that happens in either case we are, as a nation, fucked.
The only thing we know for sure is the eventual winner will face the most vociferous and prolific liar the world has seen since Herr Hitler--a man who considers honesty a weakness and plays the media like a cheap fiddle.
To paraphrase Holmes, the game is at last afoot. And the odds couldn't be greater.
3-6-20
It is hard to fathom now, but the first televised democratic debate featured so many candidates CNN had to divide them in half, then hold the event over two nights. As the field continued to grow the Democratic National Committee went so far as to set up arbitrary rules about who was viable enough to be on stage. Even with the restrictions though, the debates possessed an eerie resemblance to speed dating events.
How else can you describe panels which included Tim Ryan, Jay Inslee, John Hickenlooper, and Marianne--love will prevail--Williamson? Even serious candidates with heavy creds such as Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Julian Castro, and Cory Booker were reduced to raising their hands like second graders while begging the moderators to, "Pick me, pick me." Indeed, it was as if there was a sign in the wings which read, "Abandon all dignity ye who enter here."
We are beyond all that now as what might be the last great battle for the soul of the democratic party has officially begun. The whip smart Mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg is gone. Elizabeth Warren, with all her debate savvy and detailed plans is also gone. Mike Bloomberg along with his billions has succumbed as well. Most of the rest, including some you thought would have done better didn't even make it to Iowa.
What democrats are left with is a 78 year old socialist with a heart condition who promises everyone the moon, stars, and all that is in between. He faces a 77 year old former Vice President who at best is a political pragmatist and at worst is willing to sacrifice the most hallowed democratic ideals in the name of compromise.
Bernie Sanders is the great idealist. Medical care, he says, will be free for everyone, even if everyone, as proven by a culinary union in Las Vegas, doesn't want it. Student loans will be forgiven. Wages for low income workers will be hiked. The world will glow as billionaires pay and pay, then pay some more. He hasn't a clue how he will get any of it passed in congress, especially if the GOP holds on to even one house, but by God, America will become a workers and student paradise.
His base is so completely fervid they verge on the same type of maniacal behavior as Donald Trump's. To them, the people who oppose their man--especially other democrats--are committing sins against humanity and worse, they're no better than The Big Orange Guy. Yes, only Bernie Sanders is a pure progressive and rigid, uncompromising purity is everything.
Biden, on the other hand, has a proven history of snatching defeat from victory, or at least mis-speaking so badly it is, at times, easy to speculate that the first stages of dementia have set in. He also has a history of being touchy feely with women who don't welcome it. In addition he and his son, Hunter, are going to get hammered constantly from this moment forward by the Trump machine over their connection to the Ukrainian energy company, Burisma.
However, Joe Biden enjoys the support of massive numbers of African Americans, something Bernie Sanders doesn't. This support was key to his win in South Carolina and all across the south on Super Tuesday. So much so, the Senator from Vermont has apparently given up on the region. Just yesterday he cancelled an appearance in Mississippi in order to spend more time in Michigan. It is hard to remember any democrat winning the nomination who didn't have the support of that demographic.
So now democrats are faced with the clearest choice possible in this nomination process and that choice could well define the party for years to come. Move to the left with Bernie Sanders, or to the center with Joe Biden. Both campaigns claim they are the most capable of defeating Donald Trump. Both sets of supporters are running wild on social media saying if the nominee isn't their guy Trump will be handed a second term.
The real question here is how will the supporters of the loser react after the convention. Will they support the eventual winner, or will they sit on their hands and simply not vote in November? If that happens in either case we are, as a nation, fucked.
The only thing we know for sure is the eventual winner will face the most vociferous and prolific liar the world has seen since Herr Hitler--a man who considers honesty a weakness and plays the media like a cheap fiddle.
To paraphrase Holmes, the game is at last afoot. And the odds couldn't be greater.
3-6-20
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