Naked on the Great Pyramid: Andreas Hvid Makes a Video

I have dreamed for many years of climbing the Great Pyramid .

Andreas Hvid, 23 year old Danish photographer and YouTube aficionado.



So on November 29th of this year Mr. Hvid and an unnamed female companion did just that. The problem with his dream and the dubious accomplishment is in Egypt it is illegal to climb a pyramid, or any other ancient monument. That's because, you know, they're considered national treasures and erosion doesn't need any help.

Andreas Hvid knew it too.

That's why the ascent was made at night with the surreptitious help of another woman. This second woman hooked Hvid up with a rogue camel driver who took him and his lady friend to the site in exchange for 4,000 Egyptian pounds. It may sound like a lot, but in truth it equals about $225 U.S. dollars, or barely a long night in an upscale Oklahoma City bar. At this point it is unknown what the split between the camel driver and the facilitator was, but since they've both been arrested and are now sitting in a Giza jail, they're probably thinking the price charged was far too cheap.

Once the duo reached the top three things happened. First we were shown a magnificent night view of the Giza/Cairo metroplex brightly glowing in the east. Then after filming his friend smoking either a joint or a cigarette, Mr. Hvid, being the artistic type, filmed her as she removed her top. Finally, there is a still photograph of the auteur himself lying naked on top of the now completely unclothed woman, because, in his words he also dreamed of, "being nude in a photograph."

That's right, it was the old two birds with one stone solution.

Not being a complete idiot, Andreas Hvid waited until he and his gal pal got back to Denmark before posting this crass stupidity on YouTube. It showed up on December 8th. As of a few hours ago the video had been witnessed right at five million times.

The outrage was immediate, especially in Egypt, as evidenced by the quick arrests of the two saps who enabled the event. The only response from Hvid, so far anyway, has been to assure everyone the woman he was with wasn't his real lover, but rather a paid model. He insists they were simply posing naked together, rather than having actual sex on top of a 4,500 year old royal tomb.

Well, that certainly makes everything okay.

Most of the written comments concerning the video vilify the behavior, however a few applauded Hvid's endeavor. One wrote, "Looks like a great place to fuck. Most are just jealous it's not them."

Maybe if you're on top, but one has to think a giant slab of stone can't be too comfortable for the person on the bottom of the act, but that's just me. Then there is all that sand. It's never a comfortable additive to copulation.

Another observer--obviously an Info Wars researcher--posted, "Cleopatra and the pharaohs had sex in the pyramids, so what is the problem?"

You mean besides the fact, Cleopatra was born, raised, then ruled and died in Alexandria which is 138 miles from the Great Pyramid? Not to mention there is absolutely no evidence any pharaoh performed coitus in, or on his grave? Of course, one can easily assume the immediate response to those questions is a terse, You can't prove they didn't.

Yes, that's the style now days. If you can't prove it didn't happen, it must have because I like to think it did.

Besides, who gives a rat's ass about Egyptian sensibilities? Let's face it, when it comes to the internet it's all about self gratification and the number of hits your post gets. Today the Great Pyramid, tomorrow we'll get buck naked and pretend to fuck on top of the Tomb of  the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery.

Hey, just think how many people will watch that shit.


sic vita est



12-14-18