The Line Up For Governor of Oklahoma

Because of term limits, Oklahoma will elect a new governor this fall. The state's primary falls on next Tuesday, June 26th and the line up of republican candidates for the office is as weird and gruesome as you might guess. The message all of those running are attempting to sell is they and they alone, are the only one who can, "Turn Oklahoma around."

Of course, the party of Steve Bannon, FOX News, and Don Trump  has had complete control of the legislature for nine full years and the governor's mansion for the past eight, so the immediate questions which come to mind are, first, turn the state around from what? Second, you mean the budgetary disaster local GOP hacks have driven us into over the past decade?

Indeed, republican domination is so complete in Oklahoma the party holds 73 of 101 state house seats and 39 of 48 state senate seats. In addition there isn't a single state wide office held by a democrat, independent, or libertarian. In other words, the right wing in Oklahoma gets everything they want. And still, the capitalist utopia party bosses continue to promise the people has never materialized.

Well, let's not dwell on the ironic, yet obvious, but rather take a look at the list of GOP candidates who will be on the ballot Tuesday.

First is Chris Barnett. His background, noted by Politics1, is, "a businessman." Well, why not? Even though his business is carpet cleaning rather than laundering money for the Russian mob, he has the right attitude for Oklahoma politics. On his site he says, "Plain and simple. I am against raising taxes period." He also claims he is going to cut the salaries of government employees because, "...they are only looking out for themselves."

Then there is Mick Cornett who is a heavy weight in this crowd. He is a former TV sportscaster/journalist and four term mayor of Oklahoma City. While in office, the city's downtown experienced a massive makeover and the NBA relocated Seattle's team to OKC. He pledges, "To fix the mess and put our state on a new path to success." He remains mum on who made the mess in the first place and is a tad vague on how he's going to fix it, but at this point who cares about details. In current polls he is running with either a slight lead, or places a close second.

Dan Fisher is a former state house representative and a Baptist preacher in El Reno. His site begs the questions, "Have you had enough of republicans who campaign as conservatives, but then govern from the left? Have you had enough of republicans who call themselves pro-life, but then stand by as the abortion holocaust continues?" That's the ticket, Dan. Run the RINOs out. Let only the pure of heart rule!

Eric Foutch doesn't have any background info listed on Politics1 and his Facebook bio only shows his education and membership in a Harrah, OK Baptist church. He does state he believes life begins at conception and notes his opinion is backed up, "scientifically."

Barry Gowdy is a nurse and failed candidate for the Beckham County Sheriff's office. He is far and away the most liberal republican in the field--actually a complete heretic when it comes to this bunch. How else would you describe a guy who wants to increase the minimum wage in OK to $10.50 an hour and says, when it comes to the LGBTQ community, "The discrimination will stop starting at the state level, period. " He is doomed. Other than his own, he might not get a single vote next Tuesday.

Like Cornett, Gary Jones wants to, "Get Oklahoma back on the right track." He's the current State Auditor and Inspector. You know, the guy who is supposed to reign in and eliminate all the fat and corruption the rest of the candidates claim exists. Thanks to being ex-chair of the State GOP, he ranks as the ultimate party insider of the group.

Todd Lamb is the Lt. Governor. He's also a pro politician and as such spews much of same bland, not to mention, foggy pap professional pols do when they're in a campaign. To be kind though, he has to, because he, more than even Jones, has played a large part in creating, "the mess," the rest of the candidates are promising to exorcise. Despite his complicity in that mess making, thanks to some big buck backers and state wide name recognition, he's the odds on favorite to face Cornett in a late August runoff election for the nomination.

Blake, Cowboy, Stephens is often pictured holding a pitchfork festooned with a home made sign which says, "This real cowboy says, get real Oklahoma." He also says, "I believe the marriage union is between one man and one woman." In addition he posted on Facebook he could, "...feel the Lord's presence," at an Oklahoma Press Association Forum for the candidates.

Kevin Stitt is a mortgage banker who wants to audit all agencies (looking at you, Gary Jones) and fire under performing agency heads who are appointed, not elected. He also doesn't think a whole lot of the election process. According to today's The Oklahoman, Stitt has voted in only three of the last 10 general elections and cast a mere five ballots total between 2008 and 2016. His response to the paper was some gibberish about, "...keeping his head down, raising my six kids..." and building his business from scratch. He did reassure everyone he is a lifelong republican who voted for Donald Trump. It would be easy to write him off, but he's poured at least $1.3 million of his own cash into his campaign and as we all know, in American politics, money talks; everything else walks.

The democrats have two people running, Drew Edmondson, the last of his party to hold a statewide office and Connie Johnson, a former state senator and candidate for the U.S. Senate. The libertarians have three highly credible hopefuls. One, Joseph Exotic is a petting zoo owner, actor, and musician who ran for president of these United States in 2016. The others are Rex Lawhorn, a telecommunications technician and ex-machinist and, Chris Powell who is described as a writer.

None of them stand a chance come November.

No, the next governor of Oklahoma will emerge from that gaggle of true believers and ultra rock ribbed conservatives who have spent the last few months trying to convince the republican hoi polloi they are the most conservative son of a bitch on the planet. (The sadly delusional Gowdy doesn't count. In fact party leaders may chuck him into the nearest available mental institute before it is all is said and done.)

Yes, welcome to the world of Oklahoma politics. Unlike NASCAR events, in order to win this race drivers have to always keep turning right.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the bar remains open.



6-21-18