The Vice Presidential Debate: Dead Heat on a Merry Go Round--Sort Of

 J.D. Vance (nee Bowman, nee Hamel) is one smoothly glib guy. Unlike his would be boss, he can keep his cool and sound perfectly reasonable. However, just like Donald Trump he lies his ass off. So, we are faced with a question: Who is more dangerous, an obviously insane psychopath who rants incoherently, or the dude who is so slick and amoral he could sell you life insurance which is rendered null and void upon the death of the policy holder?

Yes, the Senator from Ohio sounded that good last night during the Vice Presidential debate. That's not to say Vance won going away. Governor Tim Walz actually had a good night--except for one terrible moment. It is just that J.D. Vance sounded like a polished Yale Law School grad and the Governor sounded like--well-- a football coach. 

In fact by the time it was over the two participants had performed well enough that both sides could and did  claim victory. From here the hour and a half plus exercise felt like the title of an old movie. It was, in truth, a "Dead Heat on a Merry Go Round." 

Walz's biggest fumble, as it were, came when he was asked about a claim he made years ago. The Governor has said he was in China when the Tiananmen Square demonstrations and subsequent crackdown occurred. It turned out he wasn't there until a month after it happened. Walz awkwardly tried to dodge the answer for a painful eternity before finally admitting he had, "misspoke."

J.D. Vance on the other hand simply avoided the sicky questions altogether. Or at least he tried to. The first glimpse into what he was trying to pull came early. He was asked about his comments on, "legal immigrants," in Springfield, OH. Vance immediately complained the moderator was breaking the debate rule that disallowed, "fact checking." Which brings us to another question. Is including a fact in a question fact checking? Apparently the Senator believes it is.

In addition, over the course of the evening, Mr. Vance didn't seem aware that Vice Presidents are not in charge of making policy, Presidents are. He constantly implied Kamala Harris had run the entire Biden administration all on her own--that Joe Biden didn't really have anything to do with it. If the Senator really thinks that's how it works and Donald Trump does win in November he is in for a rude shock when Trump shuffles him off into an attic, or somewhere else completely out of the way. If recent Presidential history has taught us anything it is when Big Don is in charge he doesn't want, or need any help from his VP, except in a real crunch.

Speaking of which, it took the entire debate for the most important question of the night to land right in the GOP candidate's lap. And for the first and only time all night J.D. Vance squirmed. CBS' Norah O'Donnell went to the place no republican wants to go and they all will avoid. She asked, "You have said you would not have certified the last Presidential election and would have asked the states to submit alternative electors. That has been called unconstitutional and illegal. Would you again seek to challenge this years election results, even if every governor certifies the results?"

 The Senator responded by saying the biggest threat to democracy wasn't trying to illegally overturn a legitimate election, but that Kamala Harris is coercing, "big technology companies into silencing their fellow citizens." Vance went onto accuse Harris of wanting to, "censor people who engage in misinformation." In other words, that Marxist bitch wants to stop people from lying on the internet and--you know--lying is a sacred American right. 

Walz pounced. He put it to Vance directly, "Do you believe Donald Trump lost the last election?" Vance had been caught in one humiliating lie already that night when he told the audience, with a straight face, Donald Trump had saved Obama Care. It took Tim Walz about two seconds to squash that bug. Now he was stuck. Did he lie again, or really, I mean really, piss Donald Trump off? Vance chose a third option. He began by saying he preferred to look to the future, rather than the past. Then he went back into the song and dance about censorship of misinformation concluding with, "you guys were trying to get people kicked off Facebook."

How getting someone kicked off a social media site for spreading lies is comparable to an attempted overthrow of the United States government went unexplained.  

After Walz responded that the insurrection of January 6th was a tad more serious, Vance rewrote history by insisting the 2021 Presidential transfer of power was completely peaceful. After all, he said, Joe Biden was inaugurated on January 20th and Donald Trump left town. No muss, no fuss, right? As Tim Walz pointed out over 100 Capitol Police were injured on January 6h. He didn't even have to mention the hundreds of run amok vandals rampaging through the nation's Capital Building chanting, "Hang Mike Pence!" although earlier he had asked Vance if he even knew why Pence wasn't there.  

The final question of the night also triggered Donald Trump himself. He had been throwing out insults all evening, referring to the Minnesota Governor as, "Tampon Tim." (There is no denying the man's droll wit.) The former President immediately posted, "CBS is LYING AGAIN about the 2020 Election. Where is my apology from Leslie Stahl? She claimed the Hunter Biden LAPTOP FROM HELL was not real and that my Campaign wasn't spied on.  CBS IS FAKE NEWS!" 

To paraphrase an old Jerry Reed lyric, "When you're nuts, you're nuts."

There is a shade over a month to go until election day. Last night proved only one thing. J.D. Vance can and does lie like Donald Trump. He does, however, sound better than Trump when he is doing it.

sic vita est

10-2-24