2023 has been a long and strange year. And while it would be easy to blame the weirdness on Donald Trump we can't give him all the credit. No, there have been plenty of other players involved as witnessed below.
January: In November of 2022 republican, Soloman Pena ran for the New Mexico state legislature. He lost to his democratic opponent by 47 points. Being a republican Pena declared the election was rigged. No one believed him. In January he was arrested for shooting into the houses of various democratic legislators. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone. Mr. Pena had previously done nine years in prison on charges ranging from burglary, to receiving stolen goods, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He was also present on the mall in Washington D.C. the day of the failed insurrection.
February: A huge white balloon of Chinese origin made its way across the continental U.S. driving the media and republicans in particular into a frenzy. Rumors of electronic surveillance and worse, flew about on cable news networks. The Chinese claimed the ballon was conducting, "civilian," scientific research. No one believed them and the U.S. military shot it down once it had reached the Atlantic. For a week or two afterward unidentified balloon sightings came on what seemed like a daily basis, but as all things American do, they soon faded from the news cycle.
March: Fox News host, Tucker Carlson used his nightly slot to show highly edited clips from the January 6th, 2021 insurrection. In an Orwellian attempt to rewrite history Carlson claimed the hand picked moments proved the pro Trump rioters were as well behaved as your average tourists and the stories of violence and destruction were wildly overblown by the liberal media. Scenes of the tourists smashing windows, doors, and the heads of cops were carefully deleted.
April: Speaking of Tucker Carlson....Fox News fired him, although it wasn't because of the aforementioned reshaping of the obvious facts. The reasons were never specified, but one suspects it was because he sent out an email calling the woman who runs Fox a cu-t. Well that and the network owed nearly a billion dollars to Dominion Voting Machine company for defamation.
May: In Okmulgee County, Oklahoma, Jesse McFadden murdered five children, his wife, and himself. McFadden had received an early release from prison on a rape conviction even though he had been charged with possession of child pornography and solicitation of sex with a minor while still in the joint. Evidence proved he had sexually assaulted at least one of his underaged victims before killing her. During a search of his house authorities found hand cuffs, dog collars, chains and wall mounts suitable for sadomasochistic rituals.
June: Friction between the Russian army and Yevgeny Prigozhin's merry band of mercenaries, the Wagner Group boiled over on the Ukranian frontier. Prigozhin ordered his troops north to Moscow in order to straighten things out. They were less than 150 miles from their target when a sudden truce was achieved and Prigozhin and Vladimir Putin seemingly kissed and made up The Wagner boys were told to go home, unarmed, and Prigozhin went to Belarus. A little while later, to no one's surprise, a plane carrying Prigozhin and some pals blew up, killing everyone on board.
July: Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Instruction, Ryan Walters told a group of patrons that while the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre was a terrible thing, perpetrated by bad people, Oklahoma teachers should not link it to skin color. In effect he told the gathering race has nothing to do with race riots. Despite the whole thing being on tape, Walters later said the media had misrepresented and twisted his words.
August: Six of eight so called republican candidates for president pledged to vote for Donald Trump if he was the party nominee. All six agreed Trump had been a great president. Meanwhile the Trump himself was booked into Fulton County Jail, becoming inmate P0113508009. He is currently free on $200,000 bond and tee-shirts bearing his mug shots are being sold by his campaign.
September: Congresswoman Lauren Boebert took a date to see a road company production of the musical, "Beetlejuice." She was kicked out for behavior unbecoming not only a member of congress, but adulthood. Besides vaping, taking flash photos, and groping her companions crotch, she went out of her way to insult a pregnant woman seated behind her, telling the woman, among other things, she led a sad existence.
October: The Gaza based terrorist group decided to wage war on Israel. Not on their military mind you, but music festival attendees and residents of a couple of nearby kibbutzs. The succeeded in killing nearly 1,500 people, raping scores of women, and taking nearly 300 hostages. Most of the terrorists, if not dead already, are currently cowering in crumbling tunnels praying worldwide antisemitism will save their asses.
November: Ultra rightwing anti-abortion forces were shocked when voters rejected their extremist bullshit nationwide. No matter how it is spun women's healthcare is proving to be a fatal issue for them and they just don't seem to get it. The disaster at ballot boxes was so great it trickled down to Moms For Liberty, the group who loves to ban both gays and books. Their favored candidates were beaten so badly so many times the outfit deleted all their online endorsements. Later things went further downhill for Moms For Liberty when one of their cofounders confessed to being a willing participant in what the porn trade calls a, "FFM bi-sex scene," along with her husband.
December: On Christmas Day former President and leading republican candidate Donad J. Trump posted on social media a holiday greeting of sorts to his political enemies, real and imagined, "MAY THEY ROT IN HELL," he wrote.
Ah, yes, quite the messenger of peace and love that Donnie.
And there we have it ladies and gentlemen. The Year of Our Lord, 2023. As you might have anticipated, the bar is open.
12-28-23
We don't need for the bar to be open anymore. We need the keys to the distillery.
ReplyDelete