Congresswoman Gone Wild: Lauren Boebert at the Theater

 I was a little too eccentric. I'm well known for having a very animated personality.

Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert describing her ejection from a Denver theater in an interview on the OAN cable network this past weekend.

Totally embarrassing bimbo.

A social media post by conservative commentator, Ann Coulter which included a photo of Boebert vaping in the audience during the play.

In truth, there was a little more to it than being," too eccentric," that weird night in Denver. Lauren Boebert was also accused of being verbally abusive to the pregnant woman sitting behind her, singing and waving her arms as if she was at some rock concert, and behaving like a teenager gone wild on ecstasy. 

Actually a tab of MDMA would explain a lot. You know like the sudden disappearance of all inhibitions which led to the vaping and what some have described as crude, mutual groping between her and her male companion. Not to mention repeatedly using the flash on her phone to record videos and take photos of the performance of the musical, "Beetlejuice." 

She will no doubt deny she has ever used that drug, or any other, but hey, we all know she is a congenital liar. Up until Boebert was shown the security camera footage of her doing it, she had denied vaping. Even now she maintains she has no memory of vaping. Since I've never tried ecstasy myself (it wasn't around back in the salad days, when pharmaceuticals and various herbs and fungi were on the table}I cannot testify to its memory impairment capabilities. 

I do know, however, completely unhinged behavior and memory loss almost always involves some sort of outlaw drug wildly bubbling in your brain. Well, either that, or a complete psychotic break of profound proportions.

Unfortunately with some people you can never tell the difference. Take Boebert's rival gang leader, Marjorie Taylor Greene, for instance. She is still claiming people are using her TV to spy on her at home. Is it paranoid delusion, or the dreaded brown acid that plagued Woodstock attendees? Who knows?

Of course the Congresswoman from Colorado's 3rd district has never been one for rules of any kind. In 2017 her two restaurants, Shooters Grill and Smokehouse 1776 jointly operated a food outlet at the local county fair. Because such things are for non-patriots Boebert didn't secure the required permits. Apparently all those pesky safe food handling requirements were another sign of government over reach. By the time it was done 80 fair patrons had come down with food poisoning thanks to her, "pork sliders."

Beyond her distastes for rules, Ms. Boebert also blamed her behavior on her, "public divorce," earlier this year. In other words the break up with her husband made her, "too eccentric," and pushed her, "animated personality," into overdrive. 

Personally, given the choice between mental instability and drug use, I would have gone with the ecstasy defense. You are in Congress for God's sake. A little substance abuse is expected every now and then.  Besides, you can always tell your constituents you've kicked the habit, but only the most devoted cultists will believe you have become uncrazy.

Last November 327,000 people voted in Colorado's 3rd congressional district race. Lauren Boebert's margin of victory was 546. That doesn't leave much room for fuck ups like the one in Denver the other night. Her 2024 democratic opponent, Adam Frisch has already seized the moment to launch attacks saying in part, "She even lied about her lies."

Well what do you expect? She is, after all, a Capo in the MAGA crime family. Only in her case she might be dumbest of the lot. How else can you describe someone who plays crotch grab between tokes on a JUUL Pod in public. 

It's either that, or as her fellow republican Meghan McCain posted, "Lauren Boebert is trash."

9-18-23