A Flock of Seagulls in Orlando

 This weekend is the annual CPAC confab and the right wing has gathered in Orlando rather like a huge flock of squawking seagulls hovering above a loaded garbage scow. It is a joyously outraged group there to rail against the democrats, preach the gospel of far right conservatism, and this year in particular praise all things Trumpian.

It is also an audition of sorts for 2024 republican presidential hopefuls. 

Indeed, Senators Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz, along with people like former Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo have been on the oddly rune shaped stage whipping the audience into frenzies. It's no secret they and others covet the Oval Office now occupied by Joseph R. Biden.

These wannabes have a problem though and it is named Donald Trump. Indeed, despite the disasters of the Trump presidency the republican base remains steadfastly loyal to The Big Orange Guy. This, slavish, yea creepy, devotion is probably as unexplainable to the prospective nominees as it is to sane people. Let's face it a person in charge of a political party who first lost the house, utterly bungled the national response to a health care crisis, was impeached twice, then handed over the senate to the opposition and finally got routed in his re-election bid shouldn't retain a following as fervent as Big Don has. 

Yes, Hawley and Cruz may have urged the mob on during the nightmare of January 6th, but those deadly lunatics were there for Donald John Trump--ready and willing to literally kill for him.

The cult of personality is so strong there is a grotesquely surreal golden statue of the former president welcoming attendees to the Orlando Hyatt. It holds a magic wand in one hand, as if to explain his hypnotic hold on the former party of Lincoln.

As these words are being typed El Donald is supposed to be speaking to his adoring fans. However, Trump, being Trump, is late. Fox News is reporting it will be an hour and a half before he begins his address which is expected to last up to two hours. That means his appearance will stretch into the traditional news times in both the Eastern and Central Time Zones. Odds are it is a calculated delay meant to provide maximum TV coverage.'

Speculation is The Great Loser won't declare his 2024 candidacy today. No, today will be just another opportunity to scream the election was stolen, to rage about the actions of Joe Biden, and probably condemn the few republicans who voted to impeach and condemn him to the political wilderness.

If we've learned anything about him though it is he's unpredictable. Once those Trumpists begin to applaud and shower him with rabid adulation all the noise goes straight to his brain where it percolates like some vile intoxicant. If the spirit fills him he is liable to do sooner what is inevitably to come later, 

That's right, Brother Trump, if physically able, is going to run again, much to the chagrin of the Josh Hawleys of the world. Trump's ego demands it--besides he needs more disposable cash which another campaign will furnish him with.

And in the end, those two things, ego and money, are what drive that terrible force of nature known as Don Trump. Of that there can be no doubt.

2-28-21

Ted's Excellent Vacation

A trip away from the awful cold and collapse of the power grid in Texas probably seemed like a good idea at the time. However, if you are the junior Senator, a former and possible future presidential candidate--one who over the years has repeatedly criticized others for taking vacations--the optics for Ted Cruz weren't going to be good . Especially after giving a radio interview 48 hours prior to departure urging fellow Texans to stay at home during the apocalyptic storm and hug their kids.

Yes, no matter how he tried to spin it, Mr. Cruz couldn't help but appear to be a hypocritical rat escaping from a ship sinking in deep, ice filled, waters. 

Like many republicans now days the Senator spewed a rapid fire series of lies trying to explain his behavior then abandoned each one shamelessly as they were quickly exposed. He didn't hesitate to blame his children, Caroline and Catherine, plus a few of their friends. They were complaining about the house being freezing, he said, they wanted to get away. Obviously they weren't buying that stay at home and get hugs shit. 

At first Cruz told the media he had always planned on staying for just the night, despite luggage which appeared packed for a much longer stay. It turned out the original return flight had been booked for Saturday, three days later, but was then rescheduled early Thursday morning for that evening. You know, after the shit hit the fan and Texas senior Senator John Cornyn was liking tweets which were saying he was handling the crisis better than Mr. Ted.

After returning, Cruz said, even as he was boarding the plane on Wednesday he felt it was wrong to jet off into the glowing Mexican sun while the rest of Texas froze stiff in the darkness. The media outcry wasn't the reason he came back, it was his sense of duty to the suffering citizens of the state.

The New York Times found a series of group texts sent by the Senator's wife, Heidi. They were breezy invitations to friends to join them in their escape from the mini ice age down to Cancun where the hotel rooms were, "only," $350 per night. It turns out Ted also invited his old college roommate, David Panton along for a few shots of tequila. 

Ah, quite the sense of duty.

The truth is Brother Cruz made, as he later admitted, a huge mistake. In this age of smart phones and social media he thought he could sneak away for a few days of fun and sand unbeknownst to anyone. In the words of Bugs Bunny, "What an ultra-maroon."

Well he's back now. Not in Texas, but in Washington sitting in on the confirmation hearing of Merrick Garland. At last look he was accusing the Obama administration of nefarious stuff. In other words up to his old tricks while no doubt hoping the whole would be fiesta in Cancun will blow over. 

At last count at least 20 Texans are dead from the storm while tens of thousands are still without potable water and power. Hundreds more are facing massive electric bills thanks to the state's dubious, "market price," energy policies.

Hey, who says capitalism and those like Ted Cruz don't care? 

2-22-21

Waiting for the Great Blizzard of '21

There is a different breed of meteorologist working the air waves in Oklahoma City. All of them tend to fall in a strange category that rests somewhere on the fringes of science and hysteria, of televangelism and reality. They never fail to leave the distinct impression nothing thrills them more than weather related catastrophes. 

Here on the southern plains it is usually the month of May, the height of tornado season, that revs their engines. Indeed, when those dark clouds begin to roil somewhere north east of Lawton, then come roaring straight up the H.E Bailey Turnpike like a berserk pagan god, their pulses quicken and faces flush. They will preempt even the likes of Doctor Phil McGraw, not just to warn the public, but to plug their fantastic radar systems which, according to them, will save your life so long as you tune in to their station.  

None of them epitomized  this phenomenon more than KWTV's Gary England. During the middle of a tornado out break his excitement was so visceral it caused many to believe he was in the throes of a crude and perverse sexual act.

Alas England is gone now, retired, perhaps selling Amway franchises to suburban rubes, but others have risen to take his place. And even though it isn't May, KFOR's Mike Morgan and England's replacement, David Payne, have been howling all week that the end is near.

Yes nothing freaks Oklahomans out more than ice and snow. Tornados are a fact of life, but extreme cold and piles of winter precipitation are rare. Enough so the city's attitude in most its neighborhoods is, a snow storm is an act of God, so God can damn well take care of the clean up.

Early this week a light, icy mist fell. Within a day the wind kicked up and dried the streets off, but the temperature continued to fall. By Wednesday the local weather people began talking about a massive Siberian cold front which could bring record snow fall and lows. Morgan issued a dire, yea apocalyptic, warning saying citizens had only two full days to prepare for nearly a week of killer cold and up to 18 inches of snow. This in a town which grinds to a stop when only three inches fall.

The adult population of the Oklahoma City metropolitan area promptly went ape shit.

When we hit the grocery store on Thursday afternoon the scene was utter chaos. The toilet paper aisle--it's always toilet paper--was stripped nearly bare, as was the dry cereal aisle. Milk was quickly disappearing, so were frozen pizzas. The lines to check out stretched half way to the back of the store. 

Meanwhile Morgan and Payne were doubling down on their forecasts despite accusations of fear mongering by out of town meteorologists. The only thing which changed in their forecast was the timing. Now, they said, the storm wouldn't get here until late Saturday, early Sunday and it would linger through next Thursday.

So, at this moment on Saturday afternoon, thin sunlight is filtering through a flat layer of clouds. The off and on flurries have ceased for the moment and the temperature is a balmy 14f with a wind chill of -2f. Every faucet in the place is running. We've dealt with broken pipes before and neither of us are in the mood to do so again. 

Yes, we are prepared for The Great Blizzard of '21. Well at least we think we are. If the purveyors of doom are correct we will find out for sure by Monday, or Tuesday. If they aren't, I suppose we will just have to wait until May.

sic vita est

2-13-21

Marjorie, Mike, and Don

 What happened next was Georgia Congresswoman, Marjorie Taylor-Greene stood up on the floor of the United States House and said everything she has posted on social media the last four years, or so was wrong. According to her she had found the QAnon conspiracies fascinating, easy to believe, but ultimately false. She also pointed out that during her campaign she never mentioned Q, or any other magical, mystery person, unless you count Donald John Trump.

The democrats weren't buying her excuses. They, along with eleven republicans, voted to remove Taylor-Greene from her committee assignments, proving even the phoned in support from the former President doesn't count for squat these days.

In fact, the day went so poorly for the Representative some of the true believers accused her of selling out. 

One wrote, "You just cucked out and are letting them win. What a great concession speech. Did they get to you already? One month in congress was all it took? What blackmail did you take?" Another posted, "You just apologized for your beliefs to appease the swamp. I don't think you're much better than them at this point. And finally this, "You conned Patriots into giving you $150,000. You are now part of the swamp, Felicia Greene!"

Yes, the MAGA crowd is an unforgiving lot--not surprising considering they're hard core fascists. Which probably explains why today Taylor-Greene went on Twitter to call the democrats and republicans who voted against her, "morons." She added that being a conservative on a committee in the democratically controlled congress had no meaning, that all her enemies had done was free her up to constantly--endlessly--speak her mind 

In other words, No matter what I said, I didn't want to be on your stupid committees anyway. Now I'll take my ball and go somewhere else on the playground.

Not to worry though. My Pillow CEO, Mike Lindell is still working on the surreal phantasm and unlike Taylor-Greene he isn't backing down an inch. Over the last five days Brother Lindell has put together a three hour epic, "documentary." He says it will, "absolutely," prove deliberate voter fraud involving Dominion and Smartmatic voting machines, not to mention the Chinese and corrupt Georgia republican elected officials.

The, "documentary," will air tonight on the obscure alt right news outlet, OAN. Of course OAN is a tad jittery about the broadcast since both corporations are suing the living shit out of just about everyone who has pushed conspiracies involving their machines. Forbes is reporting the network will issue an on air disclaimer before broadcasting the event which says, among other things, Lindell is solely and exclusively responsible for the content and that the My Pillow guy paid the network for the air time. OAN goes further by saying it, "does not adopt or endorse," any claims made by Mr. Lindell.

Forbes also reported the chief legal counsel for Dominion issued a statement basically telling OAN if they air the program they own responsibility for it. It's not an idle threat. Dominion has already filed a $1.3 billion law suit against Trump shills Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani. Smartmatic has recently sued both Powell and Giuliani plus Fox News and three of its anchors for $2.7 billion.

Mike Lindell isn't phased by any of the financial dangers he might be facing. He is on record as saying he welcomes possible legal actions.

Hey, in for a penny, in for $2.7 billion, right?

Meanwhile The Big Orange Guy has reportedly told fellow Mar a Lago exiles he is confident Joe Biden will be unseated and by sometime in March he will return to the Oval Office gloriously triumphant. The current QAnon date for this fabulous resurrection is March 4th.

Well, as they say, crazy is as crazy says and does.

And right now there are some seriously crazy people in this country.

2-5-21