Ted Cruz Likes Twitter Porn

Yes, the weirdness continues.

Yesterday the person, or persons who own a Twitter account called, @SexuallPosts tweeted a two plus minute porn video, because apparently that's all they do. Hey, why not? At least it beats reading Don Trump's bilious rants doesn't it?

Shortly after the post appeared it was, "liked," by one, Raphael Edward Cruz. For those with short memories Mr. Cruz is currently the junior senator from Texas and a former candidate for the republican presidential nomination. He is also one of those fire breathing, self professed Jesus loving, anti gay guys who a few years ago voted against a bill which would assist the victims of what was called, Super Storm Sandy.

Of course that was back when the recipients of the relief were people living in New Jersey, New York, and other perceived liberal enclaves. At this particular moment, despite his fiscally conservative bombast, he has gone all big government. That's because the havoc wrought by Hurricane Harvey on the Texas Gulf coast devastated the homes of boat loads of people who are eligible to vote for him.

The, "like," was deleted, but not before the few, the progressive, and the suddenly gleeful began pointing it out to everyone who could see and hear. That would include the questionable souls in charge of the porn account who quickly added this to their profile, "Follow for the Same Porn @TedCruz Watches."

The shocking revelation came as no surprise to Mr. Craig Mazin, who spent time as Cruz's roommate at Princeton. He was the guy who reported Cruz used to roam the women's side of their dorm dressed only in a silk paisley bath robe. In fact the future senator did it so often Mazin said he had women come to his room begging him to make Cruz stop taking his strolls.

After the news broke, Mazin tweeted, "Now imagine Ted Cruz doing this four feet below you in the bottom bunk bed. Yes, my misery very much appreciates your company."

Actually we'd rather not imagine it, but I suppose we're now stuck with a couple of different revolting images.

Newsweek reports some wits even drug up a thoroughly impossible conspiracy theory which says Cruz is actually the unidentified California serial killer known as the Zodiac. One tweeted, "Ted Cruz has remarkably normal taste in pornography for someone who is the Zodiac Killer." As tempting as it is to identify the smarmy little shit as a murderer, the fact is Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta, CN a year after the last Zodiac killing took place, so he is off the hook for those crimes.

That doesn't mean Brother Ted is immune to all things conspiratorial. During the primary campaign, Donald John Trump brought up the possibility Cruz's father, also named, Raphael, was a pal of Lee Harvey Oswald and was in on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

The, "proof," came from a pro Trump supermarket tabloid, The National Enquirer. It had run a fuzzy photo allegedly linking the two in New Orleans and as everyone knows, unlike MSNBC and CNN, The Enquirer never publishes fake news. Think not? Just ask the president of these United States of America.

Late Monday, the Cruz people, after some confusion and possibly a little gawking at the video, issued a tweet which read, "The offensive tweet posted on @TedCruz account earlier has been removed by staff and reported to Twitter."

Today the senator is blaming the entire episode on, "staffing issues." Newsweek says Cruz issued a statement which read, "There are a number of people on the team who have access to the account and it appears someone accidentally hit the, 'like,' button." Cruz elaborated by saying, "It was a staffing issue and it was inadvertent. It was a mistake; it was not a deliberate action."

Well, you have to say something don't you.

In the end Cruz seemed to regret not coming up with the idea of publicly liking porn sooner. He told the AP, "I will say that if I had known this would trend so quickly, perhaps we should have posted something like this back during the Indiana primary." The senator might have a point. Obscene sexual dialogue caught on tape certainly didn't hurt Don Trump during the campaign. And, let's face it, Ted Cruz does seem to be the sort of guy who will do anything in a pinch when it comes to looking for votes.

So why not endorse porn? After all, we're all capitalists here and it is a significant national industry.

Indeed. Who says America and the internet aren't great?



9-12-17