Papists In Norman and Racists Everywhere

It was a horrible tableau. Crazed Papists flooded into the city of Norman and Memorial Stadium, swilling gallons of beer and Irish whiskey. The protestant resistance began drinking early themselves. As ESPN's "Gameday" aired Saturday morning, many of the onlookers were all ready chugging down sixteen ounce cans of Budweiser a full ten hours before kickoff. By early afternoon huge numbers of people were slobbering and speaking in tongues. The weak were carted away in straight jackets, only the strong survived

When it was over Notre Dame had once again crushed the hopes and dreams of Oklahoma fans everywhere. As the clock wound down in the fourth quarter hundreds of Anglicans chose the "Saipan Option" and threw themselves from the upper deck rather than face the final outcome. Their screams of anguish, frustration, and sheer pain could be heard all the way to the heavenly gates, where St. Peter punched their tickets as he chanted, "Forevermore, forevermore." Yes, revulsion and despair doesn't even begin to describe what went down Saturday night. Even the moon appeared to be nothing more than a skull in the sky.

Meanwhile, in the real world, word came to us that the AP conducted a poll which shows that 51% of Americans are racially prejudiced when it comes to black people. In fact it is so endemic that the poll predicts president Obama could suffer a voting loss of as much as 2 percentage points just because of his race.

This probably explains the existence of John Sununu as a spokes dingo for the Romney campaign. Earlier in the race Sununu told a crowd that Obama needed to "learn how to be an American." This weekend, after General, former secretary of the State, and republican, Colin Powell endorsed the president, Sununu claimed it was simply because both men were black.

On the stump in Ohio candidate Romney harangued a crowd with these words: "Mr. President take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago." Yes, lets paint that portrait of the angry black man who is out to make all of us white people pay for injustices past and present. If you think that comment isn't geared to that end I hope you enjoy waiting out in a field for the great pumpkin Wednesday night.

Well what should we expect from a guy who is a member of a church that until 1978 excluded black people from its priesthood. Especially one who needs every redneck vote he can lay his bony fingers on.

Many have known from the very beginning the tea party movement was racist at its dark and angry heart. The posters and campaign signs at their rallies were replete with images of witch doctors, stylized and grotesque caricatures of African tribesmen, and nooses. No, you don't do that sort of thing unless you think Jim Crow was a great idea and Lester Maddox was a true humanitarian.

So now the truth is out, but as with everything negative the conservative edge will just claim it is another liberal conspiracy. That there is no truth to the numbers at all. It isn't Obama's race that drives their rage, it is his policies. Sell that ice to an Eskimo, pal. It doesn't play that way to anyone who has ever listened to the old white guys talking about this president among themselves over cigars. Yes, in those smoke filled lounges things get ugly pretty quickly when it comes to the current commander in chief.

There is a week to go and it is still too close to call. However we have learned two things the past couple of days. One, racism is now a statistical reality, confirming what everyone should have known to begin with. Two, I still don't like Notre Dame.

Good thing I have a pitcher of Manhattans cooling in the refrigerator. Sometimes complete decompression is necessary.

sic vita est

10-29-12