Happiness Is A Warm Gun

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Second Amendment to the Constitution of The United States of America


"Happiness Is A Warm Gun"

John Lennon, singer, songwriter and musician: shot and killed at close range.



It is highly doubtful the authors of the second amendment ever dreamed of the Pandora's box they were opening with that single sentence. When it was written there weren't any Glock .40 cal semi automatic hand guns, or AR-15's. There certainly weren't any 100 round drum magazines. As late as the civil war even a seasoned regular in the army was lucky to pull off four shots per minute in the heat of battle.

Of course when they were penned none of the original amendments, including the second, applied to a majority of American residents. If you were black, even a freed one, you weren't included because you weren't considered a citizen. Women were on the outside looking in. Native Americans, who the Declaration of Independence described as "Indian savages," certainly weren't invited to the party. Neither were immigrants. The truth is that unless you were a white  man who owned land the whole document wasn't meant for you.

Freedom, at the time, was reserved to a select club. After all you couldn't let the rabble run wild in the streets. God only knows what they might have demanded from the rich and famous.

Well, as with most things constitutional the details were quickly ignored and pretty soon it seemed like everyone had a gun, including those pesky "Indian savages," who were busy trying to keep from being wiped off the face of the earth.

A number of years ago some low level Clinton assistant to something or other had the gall to suggest that the wording of the amendment meant that unless you were connected to a "well regulated militia" ie the National Guard, you had no right at all to bear arms.

The Supreme Court took care of that bit of dreamy idealism around 2006 when it ruled in a case named District of Columbia v. Heller. The court said that the second amendment protects an individual's right to own a firearm even if he, or she is not connected to service in a militia. It went on to say it was perfectly constitutional for a person to use that weapon for "traditional lawful purposes, such as self defense within the home."

The fact is this nation has a long and terrible addiction to guns of all sorts. It is the traditional American answer to disputes both great and small. Millions of us don't feel complete without one, or more. Any suggestion, any vague hint, that leads people to believe that they won't be able to go out and buy a weapon whenever they want sends them into a case of the sweaty shakes so bad you'd think they were in heroin withdrawal.

Less than a week ago twelve people were senselessly murdered in a Colorado theater and another fifty-eight were wounded by one person. That demented clod bought his entire armory legally. The immediate result is so American that it reeks of the smell of fresh baked apple pie. Gun sales are spiking rather than shrinking. People all over the place are flocking to sporting goods stores, because oddly here in the states, shooting things is considered a sport. They want to make sure to get in some last minute shopping just in case some wild eyed liberals might use the massacre as an excuse to clamp down on gun ownership.

Many fear that the current president, if elected to a second term, will personally come out and confiscate their weapons. This despite that the Obama administration has done nothing at all in nearly four years to restrict gun sales. The fact that their boy, Mitt Romney, did more to cut off the sale of guns to the public when he was governor of Massachusetts than Obama has ever done seems to have whizzed just over their heads. When Romney was asked about this the other day by NBC news, specifically about him signing a bill that prohibits the sale of assault weapons in the Bay State, Mr. Romney went into a song and dance that deftly avoided any sort of answer at all. Well of course he did. Mitt is, after all, Mitt.

No, the guns aren't going to magically disappear. Tragedies such as the one in Aurora, Colorado are going to continue to happen. The murder rate in Chicago is going to keep climbing. More babies playing in parks in the Bronx are going to get caught in cross fires.

It is time to fess up to the brute reality of the situation. We're a violent and at times ruthlessly stupid society. We have to have our guns because we've always had our guns. We're going to use them because we've always used them. It is our final solution to everything, including the next time that stupid kid at McDonald's fucks up our order.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. By God we're Americans. No one crosses us and gets away with it. Just ask Lennon's widow.


7-26-12