A Long Weekend at Spooky Nook

It would be easy to blame all this insanity on Covid. The months long isolation, the fear, and perhaps an unknown consequence of exposure to the virus which caused huge numbers of us to part with reality. You know--like the brown acid at the Woodstock music festival that sent so many of the crowd into fits of paranoia and panic. 

Alas this isn't the case. We know this for a fact because Donald Trump was elected before any of us had even heard of the damned bug.

So the question is, did Don Trump cause the mass hysteria, or is he simply a product of it? Personally, I like to think it is a little of both. It was already there, but Big Don brought it out of the mental closet, so to speak, nurtured it, then spread it like a run amok arsonist in a drought stricken forest.

However the contagion is spread, it reared its ugly head this past weekend in the sleepy little hamlet of Manheim, PA. The town, located in the southeast corner of the state, hosted the latest installment of what is billed as the, "ReAwaken America Tour." The event, attended by all manner of right wing and conspiracy adherents, was held at the--you can't make this shit up--Spooky Nook Sports Center.

The ReAwaken America Tour is a combination of traveling fundamentalist revival, lurid carnival, and fascist politics. It was co-founded by, "Oklahoma Young Entrepreneur of the Year," recipient, Clay Clark. Clark, moved to Tulsa from Minnesota some time ago so he could attend Oral Roberts University. His main gig before the Tour was owning a DJ business which provided tunes at wedding receptions and other events. He showed up on the right wing radar when he sued the city of Tulsa over Covid restrictions.

Many of the speakers at the gathering were the usual suspects. Tour co-founder, Mike Flynn, now known among true believers as, "America's General," was there. He had a book to promote and words of warning, "We have a battle in our country," he said. 'I mean Christianity is under attack. Honestly if feels like everything is under attack." 

Mike Lindell, the My Pillow guy, told the audience, "Coronavirus is still the China virus and Trump is still the rightful president." 

Eric Trump asked the crowd, "Does anyone in this room not think we won Pennsylvania?, It was the biggest fraud." Then he called up his Dad and let him make a short statement broadcast over the microphone. The insurrectionist in chief promised, "We're going to bring this country back." 

Also haunting the halls of Spooky Nook was Roger Stone. The Washington Post reports he was collecting cash donations for his, "defense fund," in a plastic trash bag.   

All of this pales though compared to what, Julie Green, the prophet, told the audience on Friday. Apparently Ms. Green is in direct communication with the Almighty. According to her, "Says God, you cannot stop my son who is the rightful president. He is on his way back and how he takes his position back on center stage, you will never see that coming because you won't see me coming. And I am with him." 

Ms. Green's web site tells us YouTube cancelled her account for, "unknown reasons," but she can still be found on the social media outlets, Rumble, Telegram, and TruthSocial.

The Sooky Nook center provided a portable stock tank for baptisms. The Post reporter counted 46 dips into the cold water by the end of the confab. Also popular were tee shirts which read, "Jesus is my savior: Trump is my president." 

Clay Clark told reporters the price of a ticket was on a, "whatever you can pay," basis, but the average attendee paid anywhere from $50 to $75. VIP seats cost $500. The estimated crowd numbered a little over 5,000 souls.  Brother Clay insists the tour is a break-even deal. 

One has to wonder though. After all you have to be a little suspicious when cash is being dropped into plastic garbage bags, not to mention Clark himself might need some, "defense fund," donations. He is currently being sued by the Dominion voting machine manufacturer for defamation. 

Besides, no one involved with this enterprise is a socialist. God forbid it--just ask them.

 

10-24-22

Putin's Latest Idea: Bomb Them Back to the Stone Age

 You know you are desperate when you offer all manner of felons a get out of jail card. No, it isn't a free one. If you are sitting in a Russian pen, Vladimir Putin will let you out, give you a few weeks of military training, then send you to Ukraine. Unfortunately, as everyone knows, things aren't going so well there at the moment for anyone in a Russian army uniform. The truth is a few battalions of rapists, murderers, and drug dealers might raise havoc on the streets of Ukrainian cities, but they have to get there first. Their effectiveness in the field, facing a well armed and thoroughly pissed off Ukrainian army is at best a tad iffy.

It is unknown at this time how many Russian cons have taken Vlad up on his offer, but we do know his, "partial mobilization," proclamation was a stunning failure. Immediately after Mr. Putin gave the order tens of thousands of Russian men left the country--their desire to fight for the mother land, and their belief in Putin's bullshit, completely lacking.  In the eastern parts of the country, where borders aren't readily available, there were a few riots when the press gangs came to town. 

As a result of these miserably humiliating events Vladimir Putin has obviously decided his next course of action is to, as we Americans used to say, "bomb 'em back to the stone age." 

Hey, you have to do something, right? 

At this moment the Russian military is raining down cruise missiles and other ordinance, not on Ukrainian troops, but rather their home towns. Many of unmanned drones involved in the strikes have been bought from the Iranians who don't give a shit what damage they cause. All they care about right now is improving their cash flow and chucking little girls into prisons for not wearing hijabs.

Putin's plan is apparently to deprive Ukrainian civilians of power and heat this winter. Obviously, the hope is a frozen and hungry populace will be, let's say, more compliant when his motley crew arrives a second time around next January, or February. It is even possible he is counting on the American ultra right to gain control of congress around then.  The theory being, since those crazy fuckers actually like him, they'll stem the flood of military supplies to the Ukrainian army. What we know for sure is there are reports of the Russian forces being shipped fuel at a rate not seen since the invasion began, so something vile is coming up soon.

Meanwhile, the Russian president has declared martial law in those territories he, "annexed," into the federation a couple of weeks ago. At this moment he is forcing the evacuation of Ukrainian civilians from the cities within those lands in case the Ukrainian army shows up. The excuse, presumably, is the Ukrainians are being moved, against their will, for their own safety. However, in situations such as these the word hostages comes to mind.

There is a long, cold winter coming. It will be second one of this war. Vladimir Putin, at this point anyway, can't win it on the ground. His options have been reduced to an air blitz which will freeze and starve an entire people, or the unthinkable which might plunge the entire world into a nuclear war. Right now he seems to have chosen the first. If it fails though, he's got nothing left except the second.

10-20-22  

The Trump Argument: It's Mine

Our man, Donald Trump employed a unique defense in the case being leveled against him by the DOJ this weekend at a rally in Arizona. When it comes to all those document he ran off to Mar A Lago with, he told an audience, "They should give me immediately back everything that they've taken from me because it's mine--it's mine."

Debatable syntax aside, I believe that is the same argument used by my three year old granddaughter last week when her older brother took a ball she was playing with. It didn't matter it actually was his soccer ball she was holding--she had it at the moment--so to her, "it's mine."

One of the media's premier Trump haters, Lawrence O'Donnell immediately claimed Trump's complaint was an admission of guilt to a federal crime. While it might be a little more complicated than that, O'Donnell did accurately point out Trump, for some reason, seems to be daring the U.S. Attorney General, Merrick Garland to indict him. 

While no one can truly analyze the motives of a lunatic--which Donald Trump is--one can take a guess. It could be he really believes if he is indicted hundreds of thousands, if not millions of his supporters will take to the streets, launching a second American civil war. It is a war they will win and after the traitors are executed he will triumphantly re-enter the White House as the American version of Vladimir Putin. If that is the plan it faces long odds, not to mention if things continue the way they are in Ukraine there might not be a Russian version of Putin for very much longer.

While all that is pure conjecture, we do know Mr. Trump is continuing to claim the FBI, "planted," evidence at Mar A Lago. Which begs the question, if they did is the planted evidence his too? Or, does he get to look at it then send back the stuff that wasn't there to begin with. 

El Donald also maintains everyone from George Herbert Walker Bush, to his kid, and Barack Obama kept, "millions," of presidential documents for themselves. He says the unsecured locales they were stored at included a former bowling alley, a shuttered Chinese restaurant, and a deserted car dealership. The National Archives refutes the claim, saying the former presidents were never in personal possession of the papers, that they were all stored at secured facilities manned and administered by Archive personnel. 

Meanwhile Trump's lawyers have made an emergency motion to the Supreme Court asking that all documents seized by the DOJ be turned over to the Special Master and them for review. Every legal expert featured on CNN and NSNBC believes the Supremes will deny the motion based on current law. None of them take into account Donald John Trump also believes the Supreme Court is, "mine." He may not have appointed them all, but he considers that court a wholly owned subsidiary of Trump Enterprises. It's the only reason he could possibly have for running to them so quickly. 

Most of the legal eagles on cable news believe Garland will indict. It isn't a matter of if, but when. Some say he is simply waiting to get all his ducks in a row on the Mar A Lago documents. Others say he is waiting until the DOJ gets all the January 6th Committee evidence so he can combine both cases. 

The AG might want to hurry. Even though Biden's job, in theory, is good for another two plus years if the GOP wins both houses of congress, by the middle of January, 2023 they will be impeaching everybody in the current administration, including him.  

It is what happens when you're dealing with slugs who value power over democracy.

sic vita est

10-12-22

Caligula, His Horse, and Herschel Walker

Gaius Julias Caesar Augustus Germanicus was officially the third Roman Emperor. His name was a mouthful even back then so pretty much everyone called him by a nickname he had picked up when he was a kid---Caligula. Caligula really didn't like the Roman Senate. In fact he went out of his way whenever he could to denigrate the members of that esteemed body. 

Caligula also had a horse he loved named Incitatus. He built the nag a stall made of marble and a manger constructed of ivory. He even had a collar fashioned out of jewels for his beloved steed. Ancient historians have written the Emperor had plans to name his horse a Roman Consul. It was probably to further humiliate the Senate. Unfortunately it never happened.. You see, Caligula was, as we'd say here in the U.S. a one term emperor. His reign ended after only four years, not because of some vote, but his untimely death. He was murdered by members of his personal guard. 

Despite being bat shit crazy and having a propensity for throwing members of the audience into the arena when the lions ran out of prisoners to eat, some historians maintain Caligula was popular with large portions of the population. The reason? They hated the Senate and Senators as much as he did.

All of which brings us to Herschel Walker, former University of Georgia Heisman Trophy winner, NFL running back, and current republican candidate for the U.S. Senate in the Peach Tree State. It is an office he is about as qualified for as Incitatus was when Caligula was running amok. 

No, I'm not saying Mr. Walker is like Caligula, although in the past he has certainly displayed a Caligulan attitude when it comes to women. Nor am I comparing his intellect to that of a horse who lived nearly 2,000 years ago, although we should all be suspicious of a potential senator who believes evolution isn't real, because monkeys still exist.

We do, however, have to wonder about Georgia republicans. Has Walker been nominated to show their utter contempt for the United States Senate, or is he the best they could come up with? And, are they supporting him only because they are so desperate to regain the office they'll vote for anyone, no matter how stupid and hypocritical they are?  

Well there is a history of that sort of behavior in Georgia. Let's face it they voted for Don Trump in 2016, although they seemingly came to their senses in 2020. 

Given that moment of clarity, the incumbent, Senator Raphael Warnock is safe and sound, right? I mean the man is an ordained Baptist minister with a degree from Morehouse College and multiple other degrees from Union Theological Seminary. He has two legitimate children and no hint of scandal of any sort. He has served in the Senate for two years, giving him experience and he won't speak ill of his opponent, but rather about what he stands for and what he hopes to accomplish.

Walker on the other hand says he is against abortion for any reason, but has been accused by a woman of paying her to get one. After denying he ever heard of her, he finally admitted she was the mother of one of his children. Despite earlier claims to the contrary he doesn't have a college degree and his only political experience he has is he, like everyone else who won the trophy gets to vote for the Heisman winner every fall. Hell one of his own kids doesn't even like him and criticizes his dad regularly on social media. In campaign speeches he exposes himself to be a fool on a regular basis--how exactly do those monkeys still exist--while being even less inarticulate than his pal and supporter, Donald Trump.

With less than a month to go before mid terms, Ralphael Warnock and Herschel Walker are in a statistical dead heat. Warnock's lead is well within pollster's margins of error. The situation makes one wonder, if the GOP can nominate and elect this sort of clown, what kind of monster will they run for president in 2024?

Oh wait, we've already been there once haven't we.

Or, as Roman history shows us, twice.

10-7-22