The Further Adventures of Romana Didulo, Queen of Canada

 All hail Her Majesty, Romana Didulo, Queen of Canada!

You might think of her as strange. After all, many times she dresses in men's suits and wears her hair cropped short and spiked, very butch. The fact is though, she is, by her own proclamation, the Queen of Canada. You might even think it is odd Canada has a queen who is a Philippine immigrant, but hey, it is a progressive country.

Indeed, that all seems a little, let's say, off, however you will have to admit, despite the odds. she can shake down your average dim bulb for some, if not all their money. According to VICE, an online news organization, it happened to a Canadian couple named Corey and Daisy. They refused to let VICE use their last names for a couple of reasons and considering how Romana played them for saps, one can hardly blame them.

It would seem Her Majesty prefers not to use her personal bank accounts for cash in flow and disbursements. Instead when she solicits donations--and at last count since March she has received over $140,000 in Canadian dollars--she has them sent to the accounts of followers like Corey and Daisy. Didulo has access to the accounts and can spend the money without the account holders permission, or knowledge. Apparently all goes well for a while, but invariably, like many governments across the globe, the Queen eventually succumbs to the need for deficit spending.

Corey and Daisy, who claimed to have dropped out of the cult, say their account was closed because they have, according to the bank, become an "unacceptable, risk."  Despite opening a new account they say their kids' government subsidized education fund is gone. That would be over 50 grand worth.

Romana, of course, has moved on to new sets of rubes who finance things like a $300 a night hotel room on the off chance Vlad Putin shows up for a meeting. So far the Russian President hasn't made the trip, possibly because he is losing a war he started for no good reason. Besides, it's never a great idea for a dictator to go overseas during a time of crisis, because the powers that remain might not let him come back.

Whichever the case you still have to pay for the room, plus the RV Romana is either renting, or in the process of buying, depending on the source. The RV being necessary because of the extended tour of her realm she has been on since early this spring. The tour allows the Queen to meet her subjects in shopping center parking lots and the like. Reports are the crowds she commands number in the tens, wherever she goes. All cash donations go straight into her pockets.

In August she shared a fund raising video with her 58,000 followers on Telegram. It featured none other than Roger Stone, one of Don Trump's hit men. Stone, who was last seen holding a strategy meeting with the leadership of the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers on Jan. 5th, 2021, said in the clip, "Romana this is Roger Stone. I know you're on a mission to expose the Deep State and epic corruption in Canada under little Fidel (Cañada's PM Justin Trudeau). I want you to know that many people across the globe appreciate what you are doing in the fight for freedom and liberty and all that is good. God Bless you."

Stone later told VICE he, "had no memory, or record of fundraising, by, or for this person."

That's up for debate. Stone does admit the video might be real. Somewhere out there on the internet there is a site called, Cameo. It is an app on which people can pay cash hungry celebs, famous, or infamous to record personal messages. For example, if I had the cash and he needed some pocket change, I could pay George Clooney to show up online to say something like, "Hi, Sid, this is George Clooney, I just wanted to tell you how much I love, Ghost Shirt Papers. Good luck with it." Don't look for that video any time soon. I have a suspicion George's idea of pocket change is my notion of a life savings. 

However, let's get back to the subject at hand. Mr. Stone actually has a Cameo account that he sometimes uses to pick up some spare coin. And he says someone, "may have told me what to say," without him realizing who, or what he was endorsing. What he vehemently denies is a second video which seemingly shows him soliciting money for Didulo, then promising to match every donation received.

Brother Stone screamed enough the video has been deleted from Telegram. Obviously if Roger doesn't get a cut, no one does. 

The royal tour, however rolls on. VICE is reporting Didulo is taking her act to the wilds of northern Canada. And while $142,000 Canadian doesn't seem like much when you compare it to the cash Donald Trump has dragged in it is a bunch for someone who started out her reign in, "a pigsty attic apartment." According to Corey and Daisy, that is where the Queen of Canada was living when they first met her in person.

It is unknown whether Her Majesty will continue to claim home utility bills have been outlawed and still advocate for the assassination of health care officials who distribute the Covid vaccine. What we do know is the money will keep coming in. That's a given, because, as P.T. Barnum said, 'There is a sucker born every minute." 

Yes, even in Canada.

Hail to the Queen.

9-30-22 

  

Breaking Contracts in Russia

 Dictators all have an inherent problem. Once they are completely in charge and every vestige of democracy has morphed into satiric mockery when things go wrong, really wrong, there is no one else the people will blame but them. Russian President, Vladimir Putin is learning that hard lesson as I type.

CNN' reporter, Fareed Zakaria described Putin's, "contract," with the Russian population this way--sort of--if they let him run things he will basically leave, them alone, make sure they have steady jobs and provide them with a workable, although not great economy. In exchange they'll look the other way while he and his pals steal everything that isn't tied down. Zakaria described the system, accurately, as a, "kleptocracy." 

Even when it comes to military adventurism, like the take over of Crimea, as long as it happens nearly painlessly and fast with no real interruptions in daily life it is okay with the population. Besides, who doesn't like a little imperialism now and then? Especially when life is appallingly mediocre, and the weather is always rotten. Hey, it's good for the national ego.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, as Zakaria pointed out, Mr. Putin has now broken that unwritten contract with the Russian populace. That's what happens when you put yourself in a position that requires you to call up nearly a half million, "reservists," to fight a war you recklessly started for fun and some twisted idea of glory.

Indeed, a steady job doesn't mean much when the government pulls you out of it then sends you off into a meat grinder with little, or no real training. Yes, Putin might not call it a war, in fact you can go to jail, for just saying it is a war, but semantics mean very little to the average Russian who might have been anything from a student to an accountant, when there is a real possibility they'll get their asses shot off.

Of course, Putin never lacks a political plan to justify this, "partial mobilization." Right now the Russians are conducting a vote in the parts of Ukraine they still control. There is one question on the ballot, Something akin to, "Do you want to be annexed into the Russian Federation?" Presumably the campaign slogan for the referendum is along the lines of, "Vote yes and no one gets hurt."

When the results come in, a couple of minutes after the polls close for appearances sake, Vlad can tell those 300,000 poor souls he is forcing into service they aren't invading anyone, they are defending, "Mother Russia," from the Nazi hordes. This, as opposed to simply saving the Russian speaking population from Nazis, the excuse he used to start this whole nightmare to begin with.

On a darker note, Putin went on Russian TV, a day late, this past week saying threats to Russian territory--no matter how new and illegitimate they might be--will be answered with every available Russian weapons system. Then he added, "This is not a bluff."

It might not be. Years ago a guy I knew who spent some time in Russia and not just Moscow, told me, there was no reason to fear the Russian army. He said their equipment and training were terrible. He probably knew what he was talking about since he spent two tours in Vietnam with Army Intelligence. But he added, the reason to worry about Russia is all their nukes. Those were the real danger.

Last week thousands and thousands of Russians headed for places like Finland and Turkey because they didn't want any part of Putin's war, regardless of what he calls it. Protesters hit the streets in a number of cities which is a gutsy move considering the amount of hard time you can do for such behavior. The Russians are attempting to ban draft eligible men from international travel. If a Russian court decides one of their men surrendered voluntarily they can sentence him to 10 years once he gets home. Meanwhile the Ukrainians are promising safe haven for any Russian soldier who throws down his weapons and surrenders. 

It would seem like Russian morale on the ground lacks the elan Mr. Putin would like. Good news, right?. No, because ultimately it creates a situation which makes his nuclear threat a tad too real. 

All of which brings us to this question. If Putin has broken his contract with the Russian people, how far will he have to push them before they break their contract with him?

9-25-22

Donald Trump Goes All Q in Ohio

 "There's only one source for this stuff (adrenochrome)...the adrenaline glands from a living human body. It's no good if you get it out of a corpse."

Hunter S. Thompson from the novel, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."

Thompson probably came up with the idea of using adrenochrome as a plot device from Aldous Huxley's work, "The Doors of Perception." Huxley compared adrenochrome to mescaline. The problem is Huxley never actually used it. Thompson probably didn't either, but it sounded good in a piece of  fiction if a character did. He made up that part about the drug having to come from a living body simply for shock value. 

Does everyone understand that? Thompson just made it up.

Unfortunately for all of us, the loons who spread the QAnon nonsense seized on this morsel of fiction and are using it as a central part of their dire world vision. According to them, the world elite--an amorphous lot that includes anyone they don't like--traffics children not only to rape them, but to drink their blood in order to get a big hit of adrenochrome. This process is known as adrenochroming children. It is done to ensure those powerful and famous people can achieve immortality.  

Adrenochrome is real. The compound was discovered in the 1950's. It was thought to have something to do with schizophrenia, but there is no definitive proof. It also doesn't have any psychedelic properties. And it certainly doesn't do anything to keep you from aging, or reaching immortality.

So why does any of this matter? We all know the QAon followers are bat shit crazy, right? Well, the former President of the United States, who is running for that office again showed up last week wearing a lapel pin with a Q on it and the words, "The Storm is Coming." This was after he promised there would be violence in the streets, 'the likes of which the country has never seen," if he is indicted for anything.

On Saturday in Youngstown, OH Trump spent his opening remarks blathering on about the stuff he always blathers on about. However, at the end of it Q themed music began to play. He spoke over the sounds calmly, promising the crowd a return to greatness, a return to power, a return to wealth. The audience rose and a large number of them raised their arms at a 45%  angle, then extended their forefingers in the unofficial Q salute. During those moments the political rally had turned into a frightening pagan sacrament. The only things missing were the torches and possibly a cross burning.

A few weeks ago Donald Trump went on social media to say he should be declared the official winner of the 2020 election. he also said the only solution to the 2020 election was to throw out the results and hold a new one. At the time one media wag said, "The more desperate he becomes the crazier Trump acts."

This weekend author, John Wooley told me, "The noose is tightening on Trump." 

Apparently so. Because last week Don Trump was acting as crazy as they come. And if you support him or say you will vote for him now you're going to have to admit you not only believe the last presidential election was stolen, but also that everyone from Tom Hanks to Barack fucking Obama is hooked on adrenochrome.

Hey, it's either that, or you like voting for insane people just for the fun of it. 

9-19-22

QAnon and Queen Elizabeth II

You know I don't despise the QAnon cult because they are stupid. Hey, that's a given. I don't even despise them because they are delusional, because, quite frankly, hating someone because they are functionally insane should be beneath us all. No, What I truly loathe about these fuckers is their abject cruelty. That's right, I can, in my own way, excuse ignorance and craziness, but I can never abide those two things when they mix with a sadism so extreme it borders on being a crime against humanity.

Yesterday, right after it was announced Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom had passed away this message showed up on the social site, Telegram. "May she burn in hell for all eternity." Another read, "So happy the evil witch is dead."

Ahh, there is nothing quite like the internet--a place where you can say anything your twisted mind can think of free of all consequence and identity.

According to QAnon the Queen was part of that global child trafficking conspiracy that includes pedophilia, child sacrifice, and rituals that includes drinking the blood of babies. (That last one they stole from the Nazis who accused the Jews of the same sort of behavior.)

To make sure we don't forget it, another post read, "They are preparing the Black Mass and baby buffet as we sit here." It is unclear if the feast will be held at a Washington D.C. pizza joint, or another locale.

Of course, as all things QAnon do, the theories are sometimes at odds with each other. As one acolyte wrote, "She died several months ago. Remember she went through a transition, or whatever. That was the embalming process. CGI and body doubles are in place."  Another posted, "She's been CGI for a while now. Wonder why it is being announced now?" Speaking about the last official photo of the Queen, one cultist said, "Maybe that's the cleaning woman, but that isn't the woman who has been playing the Queen."

The notion the Queen has been dead for a long time isn't new. Various QAnon sources have posted about it for years now. Last fall, our old pal, Romana Didulo, the self proclaimed, Queen of Canada, told her followers, "Elizabeth II was shown the photo of true and real Queen before she was executed "

The true and real Queen wasn't identified, but the smart money is going to one place on that bet. Indeed, all hail Romana, Queen of Canada. It is not known at this time if her majesty, Romana will be attending Elizabeth's funeral, or not. 

Others, as they always do, are hinting the death of the British Monarch, somehow portends the return of Donald Trump to the presidency. According to one, the10 official days of mourning in the UK are the 10 days of darkness that someone predicted would lead up to the grand return of The Big Orange Guy to the White House. 

There is more. We haven't even touched on the Lizard People, "connection." That whole sub plot is probably best left for another day. After all you can't really dissect a novel, or play by Kafka in a single essay.

What we can say, however is there are those among us, as the late author Phil K. Dick, said, who appear like us. They eat, sleep, and talk like we do, but they are not human. They are, in fact, monsters.

God bless the soul of Elizabeth II.

And may God damn the cruel idiots who believe and spew all that QAnon shit.

8-9-22

Donald Trump: The King of All Media

The horrors keep rolling in these days. A week, or ten days ago some monster in Oklahoma City murdered his three young children before killing himself. Over the weekend a mass shooting in Virginia wounded five and killed two, Around the same time that night another shooting took place in Charlston, SC during which four were wounded and one was injured while diving for cover.

Even up in Canada, where most of the violence is confined to hockey game brawls, things spun out of control. Ten people were stabbed to death and another 19 wounded in a Cree Indian community and a nearby town located in Saskatchewan. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are saying some of the victims were, "targeted," while others appeared to be simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. The RCMP are desperately searching for two suspects, Damien and Myles Sanderson. If authorities have a motive they aren't releasing it at this time. As you can guess, both of the Sanderson boys are considered armed and dangerous.

All this mayhem begs the question, why is the American national media so fixated on Donald J. Trump? Indeed, every time one turns on cable news, no matter which side it leans to you cannot escape him. Turn on the desk top, or phone and there is his Cheeto infused mug staring back at you. 

Apparently, for Americans anyway, Don Trump has become the itch we cannot scratch--the ear worm we can't rid ourselves of--the foul acid flashback that continually disrupts our reality.

The headlines are everywhere. "Trump Calls For New Election, Declares Himself Rightful 2020 Winner.."  "Trump Complains the FBI Has Never Searched Biden's Residence." Trump Complains FBI Searched His Son's Bedroom." "Trump Says He Will Execute Drug Dealers." Trump Promises to Pardon Jan. 6th Rioters."  "Trump Takes a Dump."

Okay, the last one wasn't real, not yet anyway, but sometimes it feels we are only a half step from it.

When he lost in 2020 I thought we'd be done with this bellicose and openly criminal asshole. Silly me. Even after five plus years on the national stage where he commanded every news cycle, his ego demands we notice him, compels us in a strange and terrible way to write and speak about him.

Yes, after all these years it is finally time to admit Don Trump is an addiction worse than any induced by illegal drugs. 

I'll be the first to admit he has me hooked too. Right now I should be writing about a ghastly family annihilator in Oklahoma City, or two deranged Canucks who ran amok in Saskatchewan. However here I am ranting yet again about a former reality TV host, turned dictator wannabe.

His cult loves him without question, many for reasons they can't even explain, at least not coherently. The media, no matter how harshly they criticize him, broadcasts and prints his every word. And the tragedy is, all of that just fuels his massive ego even more, not to mention his own horrifying vision of himself as King of All Media and the World.

I've come to conclude there is something truly Satanic about the man--that Donald fucking Trump just might be the Anti-Christ. Consider me as unhinged if you will, but the truth is when the sun rises in the morning he will do, or say something that 30% of America will applaud, while the rest of us  react in horror and disgust. 

The point being we all, each and every one of us, will react to it. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what he wants.

Sic Vita Est

8-5-22